Masturbate-a-thon - is this licensed vulgarity or a genuine charity event?

I’ve spent most of the day with my mind boggling about this event coming to London soon. Personally, as a liberal with no religious code of morality to follow, this seems as good a way for money to be raised for good causes as any other. However opinions are divided on this topic, and I wondered what other people thought about it (and if they are against it, why).

There have been such events in San Francisco for some years now (no I haven’t participated) which seem to raise a good amount of money for Aids charities. The UK event seems to be asociated with the SF event.

There’s a part on that site about the record being eight and a half hours. Is that men’s, women’s or open division record? What constitutes masturbating for 8.5 hours? Does relapse time count if you’re a man?
Do I really want to know the answer to my own question? And why isn’t this sponsored by Jergens?

I’m slightly unclear on one point - the rules say “no faking of orgasms” but then goes on to say “if you have an orgasm, great, we’re happy for you”… which suggests that it doesn’t matter how much/often you orgasm as long as you keep masturbating.

Damn, I can only imagine how sore you’d be afterwards! And imagine the arm cramps!


Am I the only one who’s sort of creeped out by this?

Imagine the money to be made selling lube. :cool:

I don’t quite get the OP’s question…I don’t think it’s an either-or proposition.

Is this a freestyle event, or must the participants use a specified stroke?

Okay, wait, I have a question? Yeah, uh, it says something about setting a record of over eight hours? So, is that like, eight continuous hours rubbing one out, or is that getting off over and over for eight straight hours? 'Cuz, I’m not sure I really buy “eight hours” of either one as being at all possible.

Oh, yeah, and one other thing – do these people really want to be taken seriously!?

And I thought those Depression-era dance marathons were grueling . . .

Well, what they want is to raise money for AIDS. Whether you think of it as a serious event or not, they can still do that. And if I were a scientist working on curing/treating AIDS who could use the money, I would definitely take the money and put it to the best use I could. I guess I’d just ask whether the people who raised the money were the same ones handling the cash. If so, I’d probably say, um… why don’t you keep it and write me a check.

Now then, let’s see. I hope this allows AIDS research to come a long way. Maybe in time, we can rub out the presence of HIV worldwide. One day, we can choke the, um… I think that’s all the punmaking I got in me right now.

Sure, you can’t fake orgasms, but can you scream,…but can you scream…

… come on, someone finish the joke for me…
… sorry guys, I can’t help it, my fingers are forcing me to do this…

I doubt it.

The logo’s pretty creepy, in and of itself.

If you didn’t think having co-workers hitting you up for charitable donations was annoying before…

“You want me to give you money for what?”

Do people really need to be made more aware of masturbation?

If there are people out there who need to be persuaded that choking the chicken is natural, normal, and not shameful, is a big controversial event like this going to convince them?

Just wait till the next Olympics!

[Zapp Brannigan] The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised… [/ZB]

I’m surprised and just a little disappointed nobody has managed to work the ‘pry it out of my cold, dead hand’ thing into this thread yet. Ah well.

There’s no reason it can’t be both a charity event and licensed vulgarity. i don’t see any particular problem with it morally or ethically - nobody is being coerced - but I personally consider that an assemblage of people who are comfortable to masturbate in public is something I would take pains to avoid.

Expecting stiff competition.

Won’t somebody please, PLEASE think of the goldfish!


I feel as though a rather funny joke has gone over my head. Again.

I think you mean “carnal tunnel.”