I win hands down. I’m sort of known among the football players at our school for doing it in our rival school’s library. At camp there was a competition for who could do it in the best place and not get caught.
I got the baseball field and the owner’s golf cart. One guy got the director’s dog (hehe). The winner did it on the Tennis courts while there were games going on, and while he was wearing a pair of shoes that belonged to the girl counselors.
Wow. Waaaaay TMI in there.
Lucky Charms
Oh yeah?
This one time, at band camp . . .
Tripler
Like you didn’t see that coming. . .
::looks at Tripler’s screen::
Must have been a big bug…
With the number of posts I have, surely I couldn’t type THAT fast doing that…
Especially when you need the other hand to moan. 
jayjay (I am so going to Hell for that one…)
It was huge! I had to whack it several times!
Tripler
And it only had one eye!! :eek:
Never have.
Bet that’s a suprise. 
Not usually, but sometimes you gotta.
Hmmm. I post from work. I guess I could kill two birds with one stone.
Well…two “stones,” really.
If you know what I mean.
I used to work at a book store and I almost got caught masturbating behind some shelves. Luckily, the customer wasn’t quick enough to see anything. There might’ve been a smell, but I don’t think so.
After that I decided it’d be safer to masturbate only at home or in a vehicle.
Hairy palms was a silly wive’s tale, I have to say. I’ve found that the friction usually takes care of that, quite handily.
Yeah, right. I do this work, in front of a big window and an open door where anyone can walk in from the street.
Three cheers for handy-The Fastest One-Handed Typist In The World! 
Here I’ve been feeling guilty for the past month that I didn’t send you any mail or care packages when you were at camp. Sounds like you guys were fine without it…
What? Does that not sound like the behavior of a group of desperately bored boys?
Well, we were fine, but some mail might have saved the directors dog from humiliation.
Lucky Charms
I think half of the registered members on the SD would like you to answer that;)
And I am currently typing with two hands. Anyone who knows me well knows how often I type with one.
If I tried that I’d make even less sense than usual.
Certainly, a large percentage of SDMB posts count as verbal masturbation…