It is good she used her real name, now her kid’s friends can dig that article up when he is in junior high.
Gender roles are interesting.
Aside from Kanicbird and Even Sven, I’m stunned that anyone would think this is anything other than WRONG. You know the saying “so open minded your brains fall out” well I think it really applies here. Using a child to help you achieve orgasm is called Child Abuse. If a father wrote an article about how every time he applies diaper cream to his infant daughter, he gets all turned on and starts wacking off, and worse, actively changed her diapers so he could rub diaper cream on her so he could jerk off at the same time, he’d be charged with sexual abuse.
How is this this any different? The baby is not physically harmed and won’t remeber.
And if you’re spontaniously cumming from nursing your baby, buy a breast pump and have at it, masturbate like a mother fuck, then give the poor kid a damn bottle!
I’m sure having some unintentional arousal response to breastfeeding happens to many women. But any NORMAL woman who finds it overwhelmingly sexual and is having major erotic thoughts about what the baby is doing to her, would I think be ashamed and traumatized and filled with doubt about her ability to be a mother or have a normal relationship with her kid who she hopes she isn’t scarring for life, and she fears she needs help but also fears to confide in anyone…
…and not be casually blogging about it.
I think in this situation many normal woman might indeed give up breastfeeding, not because of what it is necessarily doing to the infant, but because of what it is doing to their own psyche and self-image and self-esteem.
Ew.
I know someone else has already won the thread but Vinnie Turnip, you need some recognition for this remark.
My brain fell out I guess, I’m not bothered by this. I’ve certainly heard of women becoming aroused or having orgasms from breastfeeding before. I could care less if a mom decided to masturbate while feeding her infant.
I don’t have kids, but the idea of doing it MYSELF is totally ew and I can’t imagine I would ever go there, even if I found breastfeeding my kid arousing by itself.
Yep. I guess someone had to one-up the level of “whoa, TMI” baby stories on Facebook when people post about their kid fingerpainting with their diaper contents or whatever.
I’m a woman who’s never been a mother and really still has little “ew, yuck” issues about the thought of breastfeeding. And yeah, I’ve been hearing for years all the comments from moms about “oh, but it’s not sexual, it’s just natural, and it even hurts at times, and you may get a happy bonding feeling” and - gee, thanks Ms. “I used my baby to help me wank and boy was it awesome” Mommy, you have just undone any progress of the persuasive arguments that Normal Mothers* have made over the years on my mental ease with the concept.
- Yes, I’m being judgmental. I’m really OK with that in this circumstance. And yes, I also know she’s way screwed up past that level, that it’s not just the rubbing one out during breastfeeding but wanting to be a sexual model for her kid, being turned on by his image, etc.
And considering that people are still finding this article going on six years later (it’s copyrighted 2005) it’s sure to still be easily found in another six. Poor Felix.
Healthy response: “WTF? Well, I wasn’t expecting that! Hey friends, have you ever experienced anything like this? I guess it makes sense- my boobs have been an erogenous zone for the last few decades and I am flooded with oxytocin. Golly, the body sure is a funny thing. I guess I better start looking at pictures of Dick Cheney while I breastfeed or I’m going to have to start scheduling some ‘me’ time after feeding. Man, people sure are wired weird!”
Unhealthy response: WTF? Holy shit, this is totally not happening. Nobody can ever know this is happening- I don’t think I can even face other mothers with this terrible secret. I must be the worst mother ever. I’m a pedophile who is going to ruin her children. I’m sick and probably going to hell. OMG what is Billy touches his penis? It’s probably my fault! I better swat him if he does that, because we are both going to hell. I should feel nothing but shame. I’m an evil person."
Obviously there is some room in between. The point is not that I think this is okay, but rather that I think it’s a fruitful place for honest conversation about a touchy issue that is probably more common- though not to this degree- than we admit.
I wish I could say that this is a complete strawman, and that you apparently haven’t read the thread.
Alas… Diogenes.
Still… it’s a strawman, and intentionally using a baby to help you masturbate is (wait for it)… wrong.
There’s nothing to discuss. There is no “room in between” when it comes to using infants for sexual gratification. Sexual attraction to an infant is the definition of pedophilia (actually infantophilia which is even more unimaginably fucked up) and no, it is not common for mothers to jerk off with their babies or to want to play sexually with their asses.
Dio’s like the Wizard of Oz, he brings straw men to life.
Part of me suspects that a lot of erotic feelings towards infants are normally sublimated and are the reason for all those “I’m going to eat you up!” games we play with them. The other part of me thinks that’s way too Freudian to be true.
Exactly
If it ever caught on would it be called Masturbabying?
ETA: Imagine a father writing an equivalent article: “I linger a little too long when I look at his little dimpled ass. I enjoy it too much when I put lotion on after his bath. I know it’s normal to be turned on by your infant. … Is it wrong to encourage him to touch himself? Is it okay to think of my baby when I masturbate?”
He would have the police ringing his doorbell two seconds after he hit “Submit” on the article.
This woman is just plain sick. She needs psychological help. It’s a little late now to help the baby (since the article is from 2005). I hope she didn’t have any more.
Yes, I’m willing to tell someone to knock it off if breast feeding their child makes them orgasm. First, I can’t think that a normal mother wouldn’t feel a little squicked out herself. Now they’re telling me about it?
This puts my feelings into words perfectly.
Sometimes women feel aroused sensations while nursing due to the oxytocin being released (it’s also released during orgasm and makes the uterus contract), and that is perfectly normal and non-perverse.
Sometimes couples who co-sleep with their baby will have sex while the baby is in the bed asleep. People have different comfort levels about it, but with a small baby who couldn’t know what is happening, I don’t see anything objectively wrong.
This though, is over the line, IMHO.
Whoa. I don’t agree with masterbabying, but if I were to become aroused by breastfeeding, I assure you, I would put my ‘be logical’ cap on and not go through all that turmoil you describe!
I don’t believe in masterbabying. Period. It is a situation ripe for creating a sick relationship between baby and mom. Even if mom didn’t realize it, some weird emotions must be coming up and projecting into the relationship with the child. Just wrong on mad levels.
For moms who aren’t masterbabying, but still having aroused feelings; that is probably normal, but if it were happening to me, I would be probably decide to start using a pump.
Masterbabying. Great new word there, Autolycus
I think fathers tend to grapple with issues of the hazy but sometimes real intersection between their children’s sexuality and their own at a later date. Personally, I find a lot of the stuff surrounding weddings as rather directly addressing it- “giving away” the bride in a dress symbolizing her virginity status, the father-daughter dance, etc. Fathers feel a special sort of pride when they have a very beautiful daughter, and fathers do traditionally play a role in our society about controlling their daughter’s sexuality. The person wielding the shot-gun in a shotgun wedding is usually daddy. It is a very complicated intersection.
These are not feelings like “I would like to have sex with this person”. It’s something more complicated, perhaps even more primal. It has nothing to do with any actual sex acts, but certainly you are a sexual role model and that does create a kind of connection. Your kids can tell if you are comfortable with your body, affectionate with your partner, faithful, judgmental about the sexuality of others, fond of non-sexual sensual pleasures, etc. To some degree, they will model those behaviors. And while you obviously don’t want to have sex with your kids, you are aware of and do respond to their sexuality.
Anyway, I really, really, really doubt that the author wanted to actually perform sex acts with her baby or feels sexual attraction. Her masterbabying incident was short-lived and squicked her out, too. When she said she “lingers too long” or enjoys putting on lotion, I don’t think it’s “because he’s hawt” but rather “because I’m so in love with him and find him so beautiful.” Later in the piece she elaborates on “thinking about him while masturbating” and it’s stuff like his doctor’s appointments and his first words. It’s not like she’s thinking about sex acts with him. Strange, gross, and unhealthy? sure. Evil pedophile who will harm her children? Naw.
I had hoped, by 120 responses in, I would be able to find this discussion redirected to “odd times and/or places you’ve masturbated”, but you people stubbornly stick to the topic. WTF?!?
