I’ve signed up for lots of networking sites before (and only recently joined Facebook even though I don’t use it) while they offer a free trial period. I usually don’t renew after the free period. I’ve subscribed to sites before that I have learned are just “spambots” (for lack of a better term). They send me responses and matches that are computer generated. So I remember not to subscribe to these. I want to meet a person, not a bot.
My basic question is Match.com. They are relentless about sending me emails to subscribe, discounts, the “I’ve been checked out” emails and what not. I’ve used their free trial before and that’s how they got their hooks into me. As I browse profiles, I see that they keep sending me the same matches over and over (and I’m talking about a greater than one year period).
I figure if Match has any success rate, these people would have maybe met somebody by now and moved on. Does Match remove profiles of people regularly? Do you have to do it yourself? I think I heard something about another site that got in trouble for not deleting former members, but I can’t remember who.
Anybody have any success stories with Match? Horror stories? Or should I just save my dough?
BTW: I understand Chemistry is a sub-business of Match, which is run by Yahoo. And I think Yahoo is just making itself too complicated by itself.
Match is not run by yahoo, in fact it just recently bought Yahoo! Personals about 3 or 4 months ago. Yahoo! Personals is now closed/inactive. I believe if you were to try to get to it, you would be redirected to Match.
As for fake profiles, the only fake profiles on Match (that I can tell) are ones set up by other paid dating sites. They usually disappear within a few hours (sometimes a day).
Also, no, I don’t believe they delete old accounts until the user closes down their account, to me, that’s fair enough, but it will say that the person hasn’t signed on in over 3 weeks (it will tell you when they signed on last up to 3 weeks ago). Unlike EHarmony where you have no way of knowing if the person was on last night or two years ago.
I’ve been on Match for, um, a while now and I can tell you there are girls who have been on it for longer then me, but there are also some who are one for a few months and then disappear. But not knowing their story, that doesn’t mean it’s a success.
Also, as far as them sending you matches, you can turn that off in the account settings.
Can only share my mom’s story. After my stepfather died, my 63 year old, gregarious mom was very lonely. She wanted to meet someone to do fun things with, so I helped her set up a Match profile. My husband used his DSLR to take some lovely photos (we fondly called them manbait photos).
I was a little worried about her, she’s not super internet savvy, I tried to explain how the anonymity of the internet can make people cruel or flaky and of course, I talked about basic internet safety (phone first, only meet people at a neutral location, etc).
She didn’t have much luck for about a month, she winked at men who didn’t wink back, she said that men her age only wanted much younger women, and at one point, she called me nearly in tears saying she was too old and doomed to be alone. She met a couple of guys (including one who had clearly lied about his height), no click.
And then, she met Al. Single, handsome, one year younger than her, also rabidly republican (yay?) and talks as much as she does. They are in love and totally goo-goo and building a house together (they can’t get married because mom would lose so much income!).
I am so happy that my lovely mother has a special man in her life - so, go Match.com!
I was on Match but didn’t like the people it was pairing me with. I joined eHarmony and met my husband through it after about two months.
However, the first guy Match ever paired me with just got married this weekend (by coincidence we have a mutual friend). Dunno if they met through Match or not though.
I signed up for Match after striking out with the “traditional” ways of meeting people. I don’t go to bars or church, don’t hang around the produce section at the grocery store, and getting set up by a friend turned out to be a disaster.
I got a few contacts right away, including a guy who I had a 45-minute phone conversation where I think I said a total of 10 words, and a guy who emailed me 25 times in 2 days. Um, ok weirdos…
I met one of the first guys they matched me with, nice guy but no click. The fact that he spent the first date mostly talking about his gastric bypass surgery didn’t help either. I did give him another chance, but not much there.
Then I met the guy who is now my boyfriend. I don’t remember who started the conversation through Match, but we emailed for several months and chatted online a few times before we met in person. The first date went great, even though I was loopy after having my wisdom teeth out. We went out again a few days later, and a year and a half later we’re still together. So I’d call that a success story!
I met my current long-term girlfriend on Match, and my previous GF as well. It works fairly well if you are realistic, honest, and willing to look beyond the first picture that catches your eye.
Match, and the rest of the big sites, are good for increasing your dating pool, and that’s about it. Any claims that they make about having some super secret matchmaking algorithm are probably bullshit. Back when I was single, I had approximately equal success with OKCupid (all up in the analytical matching hokum), Match (middlingly quantitative), and POF (barely any matching bullshit, beyond broad demographics, at all.)
I think the Internet services give you the false illusion of choice. You join and it seems like you have thousands of opportunities. But then time goes on and you don’t meet or you don’t like the people you meet, you’re too fussy.
Then you’re down to the same people again and again. It’s like a new bar. You go and meet a lot of new people you’ve never met. But aftera month, you’ve pretty much met all the regulars and so there’s no one new to meet.
But when you’re online there is the illusion of chioce that isn’t there. A lot of people will sign up for match.com. I’m on it but don’t use it. Someone may see me and think. “I Iike him” but I haven’t been their in years. So it’s really not accurate.
Yahoo personals was great when they first started and didn’t charge. Then once they started asking for money, everyone quit
As others have said, old profiles will forever be visible unless the person who set it up makes the effort to delete or hid their profile. I set up a match account when I first got divorce several years ago and it’s still there but hidden from view.
As others have also said, you can screen your searches such that you only look at profiles of members who have logged on in the last, say, two weeks so that you avoid wasting time with people who aren’t bothering with match anymore. There is a problem with this too because people without paid accounts can still log on and search but they can’t view or send emails within the system. You’ll just see that they were “active” yesterday but they’re not really active.
I know of a few happy couples who met on match. It’s not a rip-off but it’s not a guaranteed road to dating success either. You still have to put in the work and have some desirable traits.
Definitely plenty of real people - I used Yahoo personals back in the day, had at least one in person date with 5 or 6 women, slept with 2, and married one (7 years so far). So it definitely can work. This was all after yahoo personals was pay to message, if Match.com is still like it was then anyone could reply paid or not if you as a paid member sent them a message. I personally feel the key is volume - so pay for match.com and also use okcupid.com and PlentyOfFish and just try to get some conversations going.
One of my best friends met his now-wife through Match. I’d say they’re pretty successful. I have no opinion about whether there are fake stories out there, but this thread would suggest that a large number of them are real.
I know more than one marriage that germinated through Match.com. Like black rabbit says, the real value of the services, I think, is that they eliminate all the really awkward stuff that leads up to the first date. Does she notice me, does she think I’m cute, is she looking, will I throw up if I ask her out and she says no, etc., etc. Which is extraordinarily valuable for people who aren’t the life of the party or don’t have a lot of opportunities to socialize.
Given the volume of people on the site, several years into its existence, there’s no need to fake up success stories. If you somehow got data on how many people who signed up with Match got married (as if that were the be all) within X years to someone they met thru Match, you’d be horrified by the paltry percentage, I’m sure. But I’m sure it’s better than the population at large.
My mom met my (awesome) stepdad through Match and have been married for years.
It’s actually kind of a funny story – my mom had so many men contact her that she was going for tons of dates, and future-stepdad got lost in the shuffle. He decided to send a snarky note thanking her very much for her time and it would have been NICE to hear from you, grrr, but online communication being what it is (and Mom being a bit oblivious, as she is), my mom actually thought it was a very sweet note, and responded with an “Oh, hi! I had a great time with you! Do you want to go out again?” My stepdad was confused by this response but accepted, and the rest is history.
On the ‘con’ side, I was fairly routinely subjected to uncomfortable sexual terminology questions based on weird responses from guys. Whenever my mom would call me from the computer, I’d cringe, because I’d get a question like “Hey, what does ‘do me with a strap’ mean?”