March 23,2001
Day after Match Day
Engagement ring upgrade on the 20th
Two days since we agreed to not end our marriage
Last Night:
Wifey was post overnight call. Wanted to go out to celebrate her residency match but was very tired. Toddler Daughter fell asleep around 7pm. Wifey fell asleep on couch at about 7:30. Figuring she was out for the night, I went to video store with Young Son at 7:45 to get Dino Movie. Got back about 8:10pm. Made popcorn, tried to wake Wifey up (no success), started movie with Young Son. Wifey woke up on her own about 9:15pm. Toddler Daughter woke up very unhappy about 9:25. She was crying for juice, we didn’t have any. I suggested we take the kids to bed. Wifey held Toddler Daughter in the bedroom. Toddler Daughter continued crying. Wifey was getting upset by the crying. Wifey suggested we put the kids in the car and go out to buy juice and a bottle for Toddler Daughter (she’s concerned that Toddler Daughter isn’t drinking enough milk since we stopped her bottle earlier this week). I didn’t want to do it. It was a windy, rainy night. Would have been unpleasant bringing the kids out to the car and difficult to get them back inside once they fell asleep. I remember saying that whatever Wifey wanted to do with the kids was OK with me. Only that if it goes against my notions, I won’t participate (eg. lemonade for bedtime drink, ride in the car to create sleep). I also said that I’d put the kids to bed alone if she couldn’t bear the squeaking. Eventually, Wifey asked me to use the juicer to make apple juice for Toddler Daughter. I suggested orange juice would be better (that was what she was asking for). We had an orange, I began squeezing it on our manual juicer (didn’t want to use the electric b/c there was no need with oranges, it’s very noisy (bad for bedtime and Young Son hates it), and it’s a pain to clean) Gave Toddler Daughter the juice (she was sitting in Wifey’s lap in the kitchen). Toddler Daughter kept on crying. Wifey insisted that juicing apples would be better. Why couldn’t I not argue and just listen to her? I was losing my patience. I informed Wifey that I needed a time out and sat on the maroon couch in the living room. Wifey continued complaining about my behavior despite my suggestion that given our delicate situation, such ranting was inadvisable. Young Son came over to sit beside me on the couch. I noticed that something had whizzed over my head missing me by 3-6 inches. Wifey had thrown something, didn’t know what, only that it was small (size of a pretzel nugget?), it was thrown hard (no arc from 15-20feet), and it narrowly missed me. Young Son was sitting about a foot away from me so it narrowly missed him as well. Wifey kept ranting and for the moment I remained seated, listening. I got curious about what she threw and began looking around for it on the floor. Didn’t find anything near the couch. But I saw a ring on the floor under the kid’s easel. It was dark in the living room, and this was at least 7-8 feet away from where I was sitting when she threw the ring. I figured the ring was one of Toddler Daughter’s toys left on the floor. But when I picked it up I realized it was the engagement ring. Wifey had thrown the engagement ring. If it had hit me, it would have drawn blood, no doubt. In the eye, who knows? If it had hit Young Son…
I told her I found the ring on the floor and that I couln’t believe she had thrown it. I told her I needed to step out. She told me that leaving would ony make things worse. I left, and when I got outside, turned the cell phone off. I went to the grocery and bought cigarettes. Smoked one while I walked back to work. Called Dan when I got there. Decided to go over his place and have a beer and talk. Told him what happened. Probably hung out for 2-2.5 hours. Eventually we went up to 14E (my temporary digs during our marital spat-I still hadn’t moved completely back in with my wife) to get him the sweater I had promised. Dan came with me. I got the sweater from my closet and gave it to him. We sat in the living room watching TV for about 15 minutes when we heard a knock at the door. I answered the door and it was Wifey. She asked me out of the apartment and into the stairwell to discuss things. She informed me that I had ruined her match day. By arguing and then leaving for 4 hours (3-3.5 in my estimation). I told her that all prospects for an evening together ended when she threw the ring at me. She insisted I return home with her to salvage the evening. I told her that I’d be there in 15-20 minutes. She said that if I didn’t come right then, we’d be over. I went back into 14E, finished my beer (one gulp), and went back out to Wifey.
We walked all the way downstairs, Wifey detailing my shortcomings all the way. I remained calm, restated my position on the ring tossing, and returned home with her. She wanted to talk. But by talk I mean get me to admit to my role in the awful evening while rationalizing her own.
“You threw the ring, it could have hit Young Son.”
“I knew exactly where it was going. I’m not one of those women that can’t throw.”
“But you threw it so hard, if it had hit me or Young Son, it definitely would have drawn blood.”
"Drawn blood, the ring weighs the same as a paperclip (aside-the ring is solid 18k gold with a 1.2k pear-shaped diamond set in the center of a group of smaller stones).
“Stop talking, let me go to sleep. I need some distance from this.”
“Stop acting like a two year old. Be a man. If I had wanted to hurt you, I’d have thrown that vase.”
“I’m going to sleep.”
“Get out!”
“I’m going to sleep”
“Fine!”