Ha, ha. Got you singing that dumb song.
I do have a question about matches, though; sbpecifically, about the cardboard book matches you find anywhere fine tobaccos are sold.
Here is a generic image of a book of matches. Look at the part of the match right under the head. There’s a short segment that’s slightly darker than the rest of the match. This is universal among cardboard book matches.
What’s the SD on this more darkly colored area? What chemical(s) is there that is not in the rest of the match and does it serve some purpose?
I believe it’s the glue that’s used to keep the “blue coating” on the end of the match. The matches are dipped in something for some reason… that’s just a SWAG.
Well, I’ve been sitting here puttering around on Google, and while there’s tons of stuff on the Diamond kitchen match and how they’re made, there’s not a whole lot on book matches, just that they’re “dipped in chemicals”.
So my WAG is gonna be that it’s “some kind of chemical”. 
Actually, before they dip the match for the chemcial head, they dip the end in parrafin. This ensures the cardboard has a kind of “intermediate” fuel between the chemical itself- the red stuff- and the cardboard of the match.