May all the kidnapped children roast in hell!

I just got woken from a sound sleep on a Saturday morning at 8 AM by an ear-piercing noise from my TV set, accompanied by a stertorous announcement about an amber alert for a county on the other coast of Florida from me. Trudged out of bed, shut the TV off (it was in the living room) and caught my last hour of badly needed sleep.

Who was it decided that amber alerts must be loud? When my TV or my cel phone goes off, at best scaring the piss out of me until I figure out where that fucking noise is coming from, I wonder why they can’t run a chyron across the bottom of the screen and let it go at that. Has any child ever been rescued by someone so informed of a gray Honda Civic with North Carolina plates HVG 1765 transported suspected kidnap victims? Do they suppose I’m reading license plates from inside my bedroom? I get out about twice per week into a place where I might see anyone’s license plate anyway–why am I a useful law enforcement aid?

On a completely serious note, there’s no way I can opt out of these fucking things, is there? Or my “emergency Warning!!!” system on the tv which every single week blasts out a test of their warning system, making sure (at random intervals) that their warning system is operating, just as if I give a fuck?

Unplug the tv.

Send out an amber alert for that lost hour of sleep.

We don’t use our tv much, and I’ve never heard an alert on it. On my phone I’ve opted out of various alerts for kidnapped kids and storms.

You don’t live in Florida, or don’t have AT&T for a cable provider–not sure if this is a state law, or a AT&T deal. Did not get these when I lived in other states.

Two things I’m thankful for

On your smart phone there is usually a way to turn off the various alerts. (Amber, Silver & Weather) Though you have to go digging into settings. Google it for your phone.

First I heard of a TV doing it. I would hope there is a setting, but no idea.

Or just turn it off when you go to bed.

Sometimes I do. But having come from a more civilized place, I’m the habit of leaving it in “sleep” mode at night so that when I get up in the morning, it’s tuned to the channel I watch the most and turns on with a single click. As often, though, it wakes me up from a nap (I sleep pretty crazy hours) in the middle of the day, and I shouldn’t need to turn my TV set completely off without fearing that a barrage of loud unexpected noise will emanate from it if I don’t

Amber alerts are annoying as hell.

If I knew that 100% of these alerts were due to stranger danger, I wouldn’t mind so much. But I’ve read that in the majority of these cases, the child is simply with a non-custodial parent without permission.

Custody-related abductions aren’t OK and should be vigorously prosecuted, but let the police do their job, don’t wake me up for it.

I know the thread title is hyperbole, but Jesus.

Anyway, one study on Amber Alerts found that they amount to little more than “crime-control theater” because the vast majority of children reported through the system were not in physical danger to begin with. As @HMS_Irruncible notes, most of the abductions involve a relative or non-custodial parent and are resolved peacefully. There’s certainly no evidence that the program “has saved the lives of hundreds of children nationwide” as claimed by the Department of Justice.

I think those are provided on the TV by agreement with the cable provider. I got tired enough of them that I put Amazon Fire Sticks on all the TVs and rarely watch cable anymore.

Even if I were watching something through YouTube, Amazon Prime, Netflix, HuLu, etc., as long as I used the cable provider’s portal to that streaming service, those alerts could derail my quest for stultifying and soporific entertainment.

And the logistics for getting back to whatever I was watching gave you just an extra few minutes to seethe.

For a while, there, I assumed these alerts were my chance for heroism, so I used to put on my cape (oh, don’t pretend you don’t have one), jump in my DavidMobile, and head to wherever the suspect was last sighted.

Because you have to have hobbies.

But I never caught anybody, and … it turns out … many of the people on the roads after midnight, themselves, should probably be arrested … for something.

Thanks. Turns out I had them all turned off (by accident?) , and I haven’t had an alert on my phone for a little while. I also googled for turning the alerts off my TV, and the answer I got was “You’re fucked, pal”

How they expect you to act when you get an Amber alert. Warning - language. How They Expect You to React When You get an Amber Alert - YouTube

'Fess up. Y’all complain that tornado alerts interfere with your ease of mind in some way.

Weather alerts I greatly appreciate. They have real meaning to those that receive them. Amber & Silver alerts are pretty much garbage. As long as you can opt out, that is fine, but they should ever be mandatory.

Got an amber alert here in Los Angeles because it might be cloudy at the beach. Thats about the extent of disruptive weather in these parts.

Here in South Florida, they can break into regular programming with weather alerts, and they do, all the time, for serious stuff like hurricane developments and such. It’s pretty sick how in that link above, AT&T just says “Hey, it’s not us, it’s the gummint that makes us do the absurdly loud and disruptive Amber Alert crap on y’all.”

I don’t like the screeching Amber alerts either, but the title of this thread is in poor taste at best and seriously disturbing at worst. If you were going for shock value, then :clap:t4:. Yeah, yeah, I know… you didn’t mean anything by it, amrite? :rage:

Got a few eyeballs, din’t it? And “all” the kidnapped children isn’t that many, if you think about it. Most aren’t within 100 miles of me, and most of the ones who are aren’t kidnapped in the first place, just pawns in some domestic squabbles, and in literally no danger. I’d like to see how many actual kidnappings get foiled by Amber Alerts on TV, and compared that number to the number of people trying to watch TV who get the crap scared out of them on a regular basis by these stupid things. Whose idea was this anyway, and what if anything can be done about it if it turns out that one kidnapping, and 50,000 peaceful mornings, were disrupted because of this crap?