May All Your Fridays Be Naked

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

It is around my house.

This is the sordid tale.

Well, not for me per se, but my pooch (and no, that’s not a euphemism). Ya see, her Highness the Dalmatian Sagan, wears a collar that always gets too loose. No matter how much it’s constantly re-tightened, it ends up hanging around her neck like a scarf or something. And my soon-to-be-ex husband gets a kick out of pulling it half way off and using it to pull back her ears, like a headband.

Of course, then the damn thing falls off, he gets distracted and it winds up kicked underneath the couch or bed. This happened one too many times, specifically on a Friday and we christened it her version of Casual Dress-Down Days. Therefore, every Thursday evening, the anticipation begins of stripping said pup of her material restraints and preparing to let her run all over, nude as a jaybird on the day she was born.

Yes, it does amuse us endlessly to have started a useless tradition for a canine. Why do you ask? :stuck_out_tongue:

So here I sit, looking at a future centerfold in Doghouse (if she takes a little better care of her girlish figure, that is – more Jazzersize for her!), wondering if she enjoys this as much as she seems to. Sagan does appear to loath the onset of Saturdays and I can only assume it has to do with giving back into convention and shunning her uniqueness for another whole week. She has such a forlorn look on her face after midnight!

I do think she’s a little phreak. What sayeth you guys? Should I put her in counseling to mend her naughty ways that we’ve only encouraged? Or let the glow bask over her that only comes from walking on the wild side, even if it’s just occasionally? Should I be writing letters for her to Playdog?? The ones that start with; “I can’t believe it finally happened to me.” :eek: More dubiously, should we allow more disregard for the mores of our society and afford her Fridays -and- Tuesdays? That way, it’ll coincide with QE.

What to do, what to do.

::: sigh :::

Perhaps this makes me an exploitive mom with a zero-collar fetish. OH MY. Poor baby. I can just visualize the jail time now, sans milk bones. Again, whatever will I doooooooooooooo!?!! Dopers, help!! Tell me if we need therapy or a video called Behind the Red Fire Hydrant? Will we need to call Jenna or Rin Tin Tin?? We need guidance now before something tawdry befalls my baby and she can’t run for Ms. Houndiverse! Oh, how will she ever live down a scandal??

~signed concerned Bare Bones Enthusiast

2

What, is no one interested anymore in a little healthy lasciviousness? I planned on everyone wanting to ‘oooh’ and ‘awww’ over my sweet widdle angel girl. She’s going to be so disappointed, certainly because she knows I was trotting out all her wares for display. I hope this doesn’t spawn insecurity issues with her body image. 'Cause she looks mighty damn fine au naturale. You’d think she was born to it.

And I’ve apparently wasted a perfectly good raunchy title to boot, trying to salve her ego. Please don’t leave little Sagan feeling like an ugly duckling (!!). Oh, the inhumanity and travesty of it all. A gosh awful, non-flirty foul. Doper Dogs need to be sexy too! Come on, give 'er your best wolf whistle and whisper double entendres in her ears!! You’ll never know what all she can do with a Frisbe if ya don’t at least try.

::: pouty, come-hither doggie bedroom eyes staring right through you:::

Oh, and her hobbies are… chasing squirrels (you know what that means, don’t ya fellas?) and wearing latex bandannas. Her D/O/B is in the month of loooove, right close to Valentines Day and someday she aspires to be a vet and mother of fifteen, when the right rascal (Tramp?) comes along.

3

Perhaps you need to post some pictures of Sagan in dishabille?

You could even pose her licking a dog biscuit, or would that be too blatant? Too much in the vein of Doghouse magazine? Perhaps just sprawled coquettishly on her dog bed then?
Sorry, trying to think up good puns at this time of night is a bitch.

4

Thank you Bumbazine, for making our evening. I’ll run these suggestions by the Princess and see if she gives her wet slobbery kiss of approval. I’m sure anything is possible with a little airbrushing and some Scooby (she thinks he is SO fine!) snacks in the works. She promises that her very first autograph will go to you, and then from there you can put it up on eBay for all its worth.

Chow! :stuck_out_tongue:

~faithfool and Sagan, the twins in red collars