May/December Romances.

Maybe more like May(F)/September(M). A 15-18 year age difference.

Tell me about them. Do they last?

They can. I have several sets of friends that far apart, and I remember from previous threads like this that there are a great many Dopers that are in that demographic as well.

I can’t seem to relate to ‘women my age’. OTOH, the age-group I can relate to would probably see me as creepy if I hooked up with a woman that age.

My parents are 20 years apart and have been married for 29 rocky years. So, I don’t find May/December romances icky as long as both parties have resolved their daddy/mommy issues.

Hmmm… I can see how 40M/25F might work. But when they reach 60M/45F… I can imagine some fundamental problems.

My best friend’s Dad married his Mom when he was 50 and she was 30ish. They’re still happily married.

Good friends of mine- he was her best friend’s uncle / she was his neice’s best friend- sounds icky if I say it like that but she was well into her twenties if not early thirties when they got together and they’d not seen each other for a long long time so it wasn’t as if he’d been stalking her from childhood. Anyway theirs was an 18 year age gap. They were happily married for 11 years, together for longer, and he got over his guilt at the unfairness of leaving her a widow at fifty something - she died in November, as he said “that wasn’t in the script”. Anyway they had no family or friend related problems as they were each already known to the other’s circle as it were. It was as good a relationship as you’re going to find.

Collegue - a widow in her fifties lives with her 30 something boyfriend. It’s up and down, a major problem is her relationship with his parents, she’s an expat with wide and varied life experiences whereas they are French “provincials” - she finds no common ground with them and can’t slip into the 'submissive young girlfriend role" either.

Just met the wife of another colleague. He is about 30 and I’d guess she’s at least 15 years older, maybe more. THey’ve only been married a year but he says he always knew he’d marry her and they do seem to gel. I don’t know them well enough to really comment except to say that I noticed that they are perhaps a bit wary about who they socialze with, that is waiting until it’s something where there will be mixed ages rather than her being alone in a sea of twentysomethings.

As an outsider my impression is that yes they can last but there may be more pressures or intereference than usual, associated with the social circle or family expectatins. But I mean, hell, a chance comment can make you feel old or young even when the age difference is only 4 or 5 years - and since when was your choice of husband /wife ever good enough ?

My husband’s second wife was 18 years younger than him. It didn’t last, obviously. I’m almost 11 years younger than him and we’ve been together for 18 years, so…yes, they last and no, they don’t.

Well, we can wait and see how Mary Kay Letourneau’s marriage holds out. She’s 21 years older than her fiance.

When I was 19 I started dating a 33 year old woman. It lasted 3 1/2 years.
We met in college. She was a returning student. We both thought eachother was 25/26.

What eventually drove us apart were things that I think any couple regardless of age may have to deal with.

Sexual issues. Her inability to orgasm and my “youthful exuberance” lead to an unsatisfying sex life.

Social issues. I loved having friends over and going out. She didn’t. It wasn’t a matter of raucous partying it was just not being able to have a friend over for dinner or go out to a Denny’s after a show.

She become more and more involved with her religion. Something I had little interest in. This lead her to move to a nearby town in order to work for the church.

It was over about 6 months before we actually broke up.

…and for years I thought that the expression “May/December romance” meant a short-term summer fling…

Well, there was Mildred Harris and Charlie Chaplin (May/July); Lita Grey and Charlie Chaplin (May/September); Paulette Goddard and Charlie Chaplin (May/October); Oona O’Neill and Charlie Chaplin (May/November) . . .

Don’t feel lonely.

A buddy of mine who’s 26 is dating a 48 year old woman. They get along great.

I always thought so too. Now I see it implies an age difference, but what do the months represent? Birth months, or am I missing something obvious?

The year being representative of a lifetime… someone in the peak of their youth dating someone past their prime. Relatively speaking. :slight_smile:

My parents were 40 years apart (62 & 22 when married) and I never saw two people more devoted to each other up until the day my Dad died 30 years later.

So, yeah, they can work, though there will always be people who question, judge, or scratch their heads.

Wow! Your dad died at 92?

I am coming to the conclusion that there will always be people who question, judge, or scratch their heads. Therefore, whatever we are doing, we should make sure that the busybodies leave us alone (or flip the finger in their faces), then go for it. :slight_smile:

:: looks around for cute plump 25-year-old blonde ::


I think the primary objection to such a relationship is the idea that one is usually taking advantage of the other…
it’s fairly logical, one’s older, wiser,
the other’s younger, sexier, more naive

Of course who the hell knows what’s going on between two people and why is it their business anyway?

My best friend’s new boyfriend is 32. She JUST turned 18 like two weeks ago. It gives me the serious creeps. What kind of loser 32 year old has to go out with an 18 year old? And what does she see in him? (Her last boyfriend was a jerk, and I don’t know what she saw in him either.)

Admittedly, I haven’t met this guy, but it’s still weird.