Did you know this guy that yanked you around for the “Up against the wall kiss” or was it a complete stanger?
I’m a shy guy for sure, and I asked my (now) wife the first time I kissed her. Worked out pretty well 
Joe
Asking takes the spontaneity out of the act. Depending on how the question is delivered, of course, it often smacks of premediation and skittishness. It is also a sign that the asker can’t pick up on nonverbal forms of communication, and that’s a quality I greatly prize. A kiss, for me, is best when it just happens naturally, without any obvious cognition behind it.
So yeah, asking is a turnoff.
Personally, I think it’s highly sweet, and a turn-on rather than a turn-off.
Kiss me you fool!
Weedy, dorky, namby-pamby pansy, wishy-washy wuss is the impression I get from the asking of permission. Swoop away!
Yes. If you don’t know whether the girl wants to be kissed or not, you’re in a world of hurt.
Asking=weedy beyond all weediness.
Great term there, “weedy”. Thanks to the Aussies for that one; I’ll have to start working it into conversations.
This thread revisits a thing I’ve noticed many times on these boards, regarding a cultural difference between Australia (and I think many other Commonwealth countries) and the US with regards to courtship, dating, etc.
I’m a 36 year-old Australian who has been in several long-term relationships (including a marriage), more short-term ones still, and yet as far as I can remember, I have never been on a date. We tend to fall into relationships. It might be “we were at the company Christmas party and one thing led to another” or it might be “we’ve been friends for ten years, and finally a romance developed”, whereas in the US it seems to be “I see - I like - I summon up courage to ask for phone number - I go on date - I use terms like “first base” and “second base”, and I know exactly where I’m at in a pre-ordained series of steps.”
I’m not dissing the American style here, but it’s quite alien to me. I could never image asking for a kiss. It’s something that happens (or doesn’t).
And yes, I’m talking averages here - I’m sure there are Australians who do the formal dating thing, and Americans who don’t.
I never ask. You should be able to figure out, from non-verbal cues, whether you have a green light.
(Though I know some people aren’t good at reading non-verbal cues.)
I knew him - he was a good friend. (Is? Was? It’s complicated.) I don’t think I would’ve appreciated it if it had been a stranger.
I used a rather extreme example - it only worked because it was a very specific situation. Still, I stand by what I said before - for me, if you have to ask, the answer is likely to be no (although it might depend on the context).
And we’re supposed to do what, exactly?
I’ve only kissed a girl once where her body language was not already in full-on “kiss mode” (i.e. already making the motions,) and even though she accepted it I feel pretentious as hell for doing it. Although, it did “work” if you know what I mean – maybe I should try it more often 
Do you ask permission first?
I can’t imagine instituted policies of a university in any way affecting how I approached a girl while in college. Can I kiss you? Can I touch your boob now? Can I take off your shirt? Can I take off your bra?
Sounds like a case of CYA that has no possibility of being implemented in reality.
And you’ll have a lot less protection in a case of he said-she said.
I once dated a guy in the military. He [once we had reached the stage where something was going to happen or not] was very careful to ask me if he could kiss me, and any time he wanted to progress further touchwise he would ask if it was ok. I thought it was pretty prudent of him, given the amount of times you hear of date rape and the military had started its aggressive sexual harrassment lectures and punishments. He was just making sure that everything we did was ok instead of rushing in.
I don’t know if it’s an instituted policy, but our university does have flyers all over the place that stress the importance of “checking in” with your partner during the act. I agree that it’s important to make sure both of you are having fun, but I don’t see how it’s supposed to prevent date rape.
I think the idea of asking gives the other person a clear chance and time to say “no” or draw the line for what they are uncomfortable with, instead of feeling like they can’t stop it.
So your workplace admirer should just throw caution to the wind and “go for it?”
In the romantic arena women would like men to be good readers of body language and nonverbal signals, but in other arenas we’re not given much credit for that
This type of thing is code for that all-powerful “confidence”. If you ask in a manner that is wishy-washy, it will be perceived as weak. If you ask playfully, it will be perceived as fun. If you ask forcefully, it will be perceived as confident.
Generally I think if you ask in a “I’m just letting you know what’s going to happen here” manner, instead of a “Does the lady mind if I touch her” manner you’ll be OK.
But then again, I’m a guy. I think the rule is “if she lets you kiss her, you did it right”.