May the rant be with you (May 2012 rant thread)

I don’t know why they sell laser pointers which allow you to open the battery chamber to replace said batteries. I can never find the right replacement batteries, so every laser pointer I’ve owned has been of the use-one-battery-charge-and-done variety.

Good grief! Powerpoint? I’m pretty sure that’s one of the Signs described by John of Patmos… right? 'Cause I don’t have any problems that couldn’t be solved with a modest infusion of cash. But Powerpoint instead of hymnals… brrrr. :eek:

Keep giving him kittens/cats to foster and we’ll all cross fingers that it keeps him going!

Is the unit putting in money for the food and care of the working K9?

I don’t want to criticise anyone’s suggestions, and I wish I could think of something supportive to say to flatlined, but umm, what’s to stop Tony killing the kittens like he killed his dogs? :frowning:

That they’re not his, they’re fosters.

I’ve met people who treat borrowed books like their own: drawn on, marked, chewed… But I also know people whose own books look like they’ve been through an ink-sludgy grinder, but borrowed ones are returned absolutely pristine. From flatlined’s description, Tony feels this second way about foster cats.

I notice you say you’ve met people who treat borrowed books like shit, not that they’re friends of yours. I think a friendship would be sorely tested if they returned a book of mine in damaged condition without a heartfelt, “I’m so sorry - my new puppy got hold of your book and I will be replacing it tomorrow!”

Some of them are friends of mine, but I don’t lend them books since I know what they’re like and making people eat the damaged book they just returned is considered assault. And the only people who’ve ever borrowed stuff from me without asking are Middlebro (who got a detailed explanation of where I would insert anything else he borrowed without asking and hasn’t done it again) and Mom (who blithely ignores anything anyway, including responses to “can I borrow this?”).

Two Ibrophen have still not dulled my damned menstrual cramps. Some days I want to take my ovaries and smack them against a wall. Ouch.

Flatlined, can you call Adult Protective Services? They should be able to help (and are more likely to make time than the police).

Other than that, what happens when you move to texas?

(Very worried now.)

You just need to get me on the jury. I’ll find SOME excuse to acquit you.

Try taking the ibuprofen with caffeine. Have a cup of coffee or tea. Smacking your ovaries will not lessen the pain. They are delicate, sensitive glands, just like a man’s testicles, they do not respond well to brute force.

The only thing that IS guaranteed to relieve the cramps is a hysterectomy, which some people regard as overkill.

Heh.

No, actually, the three k9 handlers are “allowed” four hours per week of pay in return for their at-home dog stuff, and a local vet donates services to the k9s. But we purchase everything else - from food to kennels to leashes and halters and collars. (I take that back. The department gave them three new leashes last year. For the first time in at least three years.) Of course, it gets written off at tax time.

If our dogs were actually owned by the department, it would be different. However, that would also mean that retired dogs would be euthanized instead of sent home with their handlers to enjoy their last months or years. Having had to do that once - walk away from a dog no longer healthy enough to work, but far too healthy to have been put down - Tony wasn’t willing to work k9 again unless he had the ultimate say-so in what happened to his dog.

Lacunae Matata, check your PMs.

Notwithstanding the fact that you’re in rootin’-tootin’ Arizona rather than crunchy-granola-eatin’ California, how does killing multiple (presumably) healthy (again, presumably) dogs count as “hasn’t done anything”?

I’m guessing he didn’t bring them to the vet and have them euthanized.

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in debt. My ex-husband left me with some wonderful parting gifts when we got divorced. I’ve had some medical bills that piled up a little faster than I could pay them. I feel like all I do is work but yet it’s 3 days until payday and my bank account is laughing at me. You’d think I would be better at managing my own finances because I’m an accountant. Nope. I’m awesome at balancing the company’s budget but can’t get a grip on my own. :mad::o

Goddamn roof squirrels are inside the walls of my house. Skritchy-skritchy-skritch. Fuckers. I’ve replaced parts of the soffits twice now where they chew their way in.

And the spell checker doesn’t recognize sofit.

Agreed to both of these - I’ve been wondering about what happens when flatlined moves away, too.

And Adult Protective Services might not show up armed…

…or in riot gear…

… or playing the “Bad Boys” theme from COPS as they chase Tony and his dogs through a trailer park (with flatlined in her undies beating the officers with a 40 oz bottle and screaming “You pussies! You’re not man enough to take him down!”)
(Seriously, we’re all worried about Tony…)

Cracks up. Puts 40 oz bottle of Colt 45 on my shopping list. Has no plans to drink it so I can be splashing it all over as I’m running and screaming.

Honestly, I really appreciate how much you folks care about a mentally ill person you have never met.

There are services for people like Tony, but he has to want to use them. He has all of the legal protections that we all do. This is frustrating. I can see from the signs that he is melting down. The last time he melted down, he physically attacked someone and got tazed and ended up in jail, then got moved to a hospital.

He had probation, and court ordered anger management classes. The classes just pissed him off. Now that he’s completed his probation and classes, nobody can do anything. He’s paid his price and now is out of the system.

The good thing is that as a convicted felon, and as a mentally ill person, he cannot legally buy or own a gun. He’s also dirt poor, so any gun he buys illegally will be a cheap one, so if he really does climb the clock tower, it might blow up in his face. That would be horrible for him, but at least he won’t kill innocent people.

Tony doesn’t have the combinations to my gun safes and I certainly won’t give him one.

I didn’t think to call Adult Protection for him before seeing your good advice, perfectparanoia. Thank you for that, I will call tomorrow.

kaylasdad99 Out here, animals are considered to be property. You can kill your animals as long as you don’t torture them. I don’t know if Tony actually killed them himself, when I asked where the dogs were, he just said that they were dead and then shut down and walked away.

I want to move him with me. Bill has reluctently agreed and has been looking for some place close that he can buy for Tony. Tony refuses to even consider the thought. I’m hoping that Tony will become more lucid and agree with me. One of the many good things about Tony is that when he gives his word, he keeps it.

Now for the good news. When I stopped by his place tonight because I was checking on the kittens, just to see how they were doing and to ask if he needed anything for them, Tony had was wearing a different t-shirt. All of the kittens have names and the gentle love in his voice and actions told me that he was bonding with them.

Again, thank all of you for caring for this broken man. This is NOT his fault. His parents are dead, his siblings don’t care except at the first of the month. Tony is a good man. He’s just broken.

I’m glad to hear good news about Tony and hope it continues flatlined.