Who arranged for my basement pump to die the evening of our heaviest rainstorm in months?
Again, I decide to dose up on Vit C tabs to prepare for the onslaught of the Coughs and Sneezes Season, and three days later I cop the worstest cold I can remember.
I swear I have a Vit C Tablet allergy. 
My hamburger was really juicy and I didn’t want to set the bun down and get it all soggy. I shoved it all in my mouth.
Leaving just barely enough room for some fries!
Exactly!
You know that stuff doesn’t prevent colds, don’t you?
July? Joe Momma!
Every time that hairy YAM makes it to the news, I have to change the damn channel. I have to carry a friggen remote with me now just in case I need an emergency channel change when that asshole-with-the-combover gets a little air time.
Please Mother Nature, dimension and amnesia for him. Double dose. Soon.
I am home, thank Bastet. I passed my test, no thanks to the “instructor” or the Goodwin fire.
I used to live about 3 miles away from the evac zone, but my bff was right in it and has 3 horses, 2 dogs and 2 cats. Other friends were also evacuated, so I was rather distracted while the instructor read the laws and regulations, but didn’t bother to explain anything.
Lucky remembered who I was after a few minutes. He’s blind and needed to hear my voice and smell me to know who the stranger was.
Nobody died which was very good. Homes were lost which was not so good. People are being allowed back home now. My bff and her pets are renting a place in Skull Valley because renting a horse friendly place for a month seemed to be the best option.
Kid is still not out, set to be induced in a couple of days. I said “screw it”, and binged on raw sushi. And you know what, o people of Straight Dope?
It was -delicious-.
Ho-lee crap. Did I miss something from the June mini-rants thread?
Is all well with you? Is there anything you need?
Yeah, it is, isn’t it?
You poor thing, you. But you must be very comfortable from a certain point of view…
Ah crap.
Picked something up and ripped something in my left shoulder. Now it hurts to lift it above slightly-below-level.
Dear clickbait ad producers: Mechanics, doctors and manufacturers of assorted products are not “upset”, “furious” or anxious for us not to know about the particular variety of crap your company is trying to sell. And no, the clueless millennials shown in your photo are not “shaking up” the world of industry and finance. They’re still living in their parents’ basements.
Further, that female athlete’s alleged wardrobe malfunction did not excite the crowd. They were away from their seats getting a snack, using the bathroom or gabbing on their cellphones and didn’t notice a thing.
Parents, letting your small child carry around one of our books, then telling them, “Look, you wrinkled it! It’s all torn, go get a different one!” is just not right. Your child ruined that book because you let them play with it. If you wanted it nice, you should not have let your child carry it around. Similarly, letting them carry around and play with something you do not intend to purchase, then handing a ruined item to me and saying, “Oh, we’re not getting this,” is also wrong. Just don’t. Why do you think it’s Ok for your kid to ruin stuff and not pay for it?
Obviously they think it’s Ok because most stores just take it as a loss. Still it’s so frustrating that people don’t even offer to pay for stuff their kids ruin.
My son, the Err Apparent, was two weeks late. I learned a lesson, I learned that the trampoline center was a thing of the past. And you can’t just go rent one.
While I applaud the idea of putting the twerp into a prison similar to the one in the Superman movie, I think you meant dementia. Too late; he already has it.
We must be related. My family’s (semi-official) motto is “You overstay your welcome, you take your chances”.
Hope all goes well for you and the young 'un.
A young lady from China was a visiting scholar at a university in the U.S. She is now presumed dead. Her alleged abductor is under arrest. And where did he get information on how to carry out the abduction? Why, of course, on online forums with nice, cuddly, friendly titles such as:
[ul][li]Abduction 101[/li][li]Perfect abduction fantasy[/li][li]Planning a kidnapping[/ul][/li]
Again, WTF?