This notification on flightaware.com (referring to Newark):
arrival delays for airborne aircraft of 16 minutes to 30 minutes averaging 32 minutes (and increasing)
My math degree is old, but back in the day you couldn’t have an average greater than the range.
Common core math.
Back in the 70’s when I was in elementary, my parents couldn’t check my math homework because, “new math”. I had no idea what they were talking about because the way I was taught seemed perfectly logical and obvious to me. I just figured maybe they were so old were stacking rocks or something.
I came home from grocery shopping this afternoon, came around the corner to the kitchen, and…
there was a 5ish-foot-long black SNAKE in the middle of the kitchen floor.
On the bright side, I do like snakes (just… not in my house uninvited), so wasn’t scared of it just because it was a snake. And I could recognize that it was a black rat snake, not a dangerous one. So I googled “how to get a snake out of your house” and the results were mostly “call an exterminator,” which was not on the table. While I was Googling, one of my cats discovered the snake. I tried to distract him, but he went up, sniffed him, and gave him a nudge with his paw, sending the snake panic-slithering the opposite direction. I grabbed the cat and put him in a bedroom because I didn’t want him either getting bitten (I know it’s not venomous, but they can still bite) or complicating things and by the time I got back to the kitchen, the snake had vanished. Uhhhhh… cool that he’s not in the middle of the floor, but I did kind of prefer to have him where I could see him.
I looked all over for him (or her, I guess) to no avail. Figured maybe he’d left the way he came in. Then, about an hour ago, as I was laughing at myself for being on guard and thinking I was going to see a snake around every corner, THERE HE WAS AGAIN. On my kitchen counter! So I grabbed a box and some oven mitts and just kind of scooped him into the box and took him outside. He slithered away in the grass. I wonder if I’ll see him again.
I have seen mice outside, btw, but no evidence of them in the house. I suppose I should set some traps just in case.
Please tell me you have heard Tom Lehrer’s "New Math:
I had never seen that and it was funny as hell. Thanks!
And actually makes more sense than stacking rocks. 
My wife would probably die. I’m not kidding, I’m worried she would actually have a heart attack and die.
If she didn’t, she’d probably make us move. We’ve been in this house for 10 years and have quite a few more years before the mortgage is paid, and we plan to retire here. But she’d make us move.
Luckily the worst thing you’d ever find here is a small garter snake, unless it was an escaped pet. She’d still freak out over that.
I’m convinced she was terrified to go outside one day (all day) because she saw a garden hose. She insists it was a snake, but I am sure it was a hose.
She also can’t stand being around a plush cartoon snake with goofy eyes. She’s that scared of snakes.
As someone who feeds feral cats, I am here to say that cats are mighty snake killers. We once had a feral cat who would leave poor innocent murdered rattlesnakes outside our door. Poor snake only had one or two bites behind its neck, cats are so good at that.
@Atamasama encourage your wife to adopt a stray cat. Chances are good that a street smart cat knows what to do with a snake. Have your wife use shoelaces to play with her new protector to help it learn that snakes are bad and should be killed. Phobias like hers are irrational and unreasoning and are not to be shamed. Having a furry protector can’t hurt and adopting a shelter cat gives you bonus points.
Miracle Whip is fine- I eat it rarely, but I love it on Hoosier style tenderloin sandwiches, bacon and tomato sandwiches, and cold turkey thigh sandwiches on Thanksgiving evenings.
Miracle Whip isn’t supposed to taste like mayo. It’s supposed to taste like mayo with added sweet pickle relish and a bit of mustard, making it a shortcut for chicken, egg, or ham salad.
Mayonnaise tastes like slightly soured salty whipped lard. Yuck! (anti-mayo, pro-MW rant over)
I can sympathize with her. I’m so ophidiophobic that seeing a printed picture of a snake can scare me. Not good with worms, either. Lizards are fine, some of them are adorable.
You are so smart! You have a bird to sound the alarm if a snake approaches as well as a cat and a half to protect you!!!
Phobias happen. I won’t touch a dead animal and do my best to not touch raw meat. This is an issue when we have to say goodby to a beloved pet because as soon as I feel them go limp I have to get up and run away and cry. I can’t stay and comfort until the last breath and I hate myself for it.
We have a small Havanese dog. A cat of any substance would probably eat her. And I’m deathly allergic of cats.
Knowing my wife, if she had any affection for a cat she’d be terrified that the snake would hurt it too.
I found the shed skin from a large snake in our basement once. I took some pictures and the shed was identified as coming from a ~5 foot long central rat snake.
I looked around but never found him. I keep our home fairly mouse free via trap&release. Pretty sure snake found our home lacking and left however he came in.
The thing I learned from this video is that “New Math” was a move from a more “efficient” way of simply doing calculations, to a more intuitive way that emphasized a more nuanced understanding of what was actually going on.
“Common Core” math is simply another step in that direction. If it seems cumbersome to you, that’s because the point is not to learn how to manually calculate results, we have computers for that. Instead the point is to understand numbers so that you know which calculations to do.
For next time (just in case):
We had a snake show up in our office a few months ago. People were sort of trying to chase it out, with no success, when one girl picked up a small dark wastebasket and put it down close to the snake. The poor harassed snakie went right in it, and she put a folder over the top and carried it outside. I just know I’m going to need to remember that trick, we have snakes galore!
I always use sour cream with alot of garlic powder sprinkled in. Good stuff!
Just a reminder. Know the venomous snakes in your area! All snakes can bite and even a garter snake’s bite can hurt, but avoid contact with venomous snakes.
Train your dogs to “leave it”.
Outdoors, a stream from a garden hose can coax a snake to leave the area.
/PSA
hows the kid? last time I was here he was having a few
You dodged a bullet on that one …
my rant? HP and spectrum tech support can go fuck itself with rusty tetanus filled cactus… fuckers messed up my ancient but still useable PC so bad we had to junk it and buy a new one with money we didn’t have after spending money to fix it in the first place …worthless fuckers …
Some moron thought pulling the fire alarm and disturbing the entire complex was a good idea, and of COURSE no one on-site has keys to shut it off, we have to wait for the fire department to get here.
I did visually verify no visible smoke above the place.
I had a boss many years ago who totally freaked out over a rubber snake I had put on my desk as a Halloween decoration. He was fine with the rubber mice, cockroaches, and spiders though. 
The baby is doing a lot better. He’s on a once daily inhaled steroid for suspected asthma and it seems to be working. Even got his skin cleared up. Unfortnunately, his big sister is not having a great time right now. She was diagnosed with ADHD (as we expected as she has basically all the classical symptoms) and we decided to trial ritalin… it is NOT going well.
In other news, the trees are about done and I’m starting to feel better… so now my stomach is gonna revolt because I guess I can’t just have a day where I feel OK.