Over the weekend, it was breakfast time. Actually it was breakfast time twice over the weekend. Unless you had a long weekend. Or are retired. Or just don’t work for whatever reason. But for me, this weekend had two breakfast times. This is about one of them. Actually, it’s not about breakfast so much as me. This is about me. But it starts out at breakfast time. Over the weekend.
I didn’t feel like actually cooking anything for breakfast, so I decided on cereal. I could have made waffles, but I didn’t. Who knows how my life could have changed if I chose waffles that fateful morning? Who knows what simplest of changes in a persons day could have the biggest impacts? The Shadow? Nope. He knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men, but he can’t plot out alternative time lines. Instead of waffles I had a bowl of cold cereal. The cereal itself wasn’t cold, it was room temperature. The milk was cold, it was refrigerator temperature. The milk in the cereal made the cereal cold, so in the end, well actually about the time I started eating it, it was cold. Once I got it all in a bowl.
We needed to run the dishwasher, so all the regular bowls were dirty. So I couldn’t just grab a regular bowl, a default bowl. We have a few other bowls to choose from in the bowl cupboard. Plates are also in there, so it’s not just the “bowl cupboard”, it’s the general “dishes cupboard”, but I was looking for a bowl. You can’t eat cold cereal off a plate, now can you? I guess you really could, but I didn’t want to. I wanted a bowl.
So I grabbed a cereal-looking bowl. Not that the bowl looked like cereal, it looked like rock actually. It’s one of those old “rock bowls” with B.C. characters printed on it. They gave them away at a gas station a long time ago. Then the little Woman found a “rock bowl” and a “Grog mug” (not for grog, the rum drink, but with Grog, the other B.C. character cast right into the side of the mug) at Goodwill. All for fifty cents. What a bargain.
Only the “rock bowl” didn’t hold as much cereal as I wanted. Really, it’s a little puny for a cereal bowl. So I reached into the cupboard and pulled out a bigger bowl. A manly man sized cereal bowl. It’s a bowl sized like those coffee cups the cool and hip people drink coffee out of on TV. At least they say they’re drinking coffee out of them. It could be Fresca in there. How would you know? It’s just TV. Sometimes you have to trust them. But my bowl is a little bit bigger than one of those cups. So it was a goodly sized bowl. Like I said, a manly man sized bowl.
With Winnie the Pooh characters printed all around it.
Later that day I had to take some videos back to the video store. Since it was a little chilly, I put on a jacket. My jean jacket. The symbol of rebellion since forever. A jean jacket. How cool was I?
My jean jacket is the same color as Winnie the Pooh.
At first glance, the word “cockshy” doesn’t mean what you think it does.