I’ve had some success saying “Well, I talked to god just now and he says you’re a right cunt who should shut the fuck up and go into your prayer closet, shut the door and stay there until you learn better.” Hey, don’t get mad at me, that’s what god said and you can’t disprove it. 
And yes, the “Bad dog, BAD!” is optional but awesome.
I’m not Christian. But I always assumed the proper response to one of those fundamentalists who accuses you of being a fake Christian is to show off your chops by reciting some relevant Bible verse, or if they pull a verse on you, for you to cite the chapter and verse like Denzel Washington did in Man on Fire (2004).
~Max
I’m a Christian, but there are people I call “Psycho Christians” who scare the shit out of me.
They are like a combo of Ned Flanders and Patrick Bateman.
That is a movie I really need to watch.
~Max
“Lady, I’m just trying to do my job stacking bread here. You don’t see me coming down to your workplace and slapping some homeless guy’s dick out of your mouth!”
Now THAT might be worthy of a reprimand, but I wish the OP’s boss had, upon seeing the video, started a slow clap for him.
To those of you wondering if I was explicit and clear in communicating that I wasn’t a store employee, no, that’s why I’malso dumb, I didn’t do my part to keep it from going how it did.
@msmith537 that is actually kind of a awesome response, I wish I had thought of that at the time
@digs my supe did go with me to see hr and was supportive and I did get to keep my job so there is that, but proper decorum in front of the corporate drones seemed best at the time
Honestly, it was the “good christian” part that really got me. I’ve been working just shy of forty years now, ya meet some real…people in that span, learn to deal the right way and move on. But living in the heart of republican christianistan(texas is a bunch of amateurs) is starting to wear on me.
Hehehe, I was a Unix admin for about a dozen years. There were times when I honestly thought “You know, just quitting and being homeless is an option.” Then I stopped working in web hosting. Life is much better.
I haven’t had people actually rant at me for thinking I work somewhere, but I have had the occasional time where someone did rant at me because they thought I wasn’t doing some stupid thing they thought I should be doing. I always respond to them the same way I do when a pet is complaining and I’ve verified there’s not much reason for it.
“Willy hears ya. Willy don’t care.”
My name’s not Willy, but they know that about as much as the cat does.
It’s not the Christianity itself, it’s the choice of using Christianity as a weapon against others that’s offensive.
Hmm, so this may explain San Francisco…
I went to a Home Depot wearing an Orange Crush t-shirt and wound up helping a lady load stuff into her car.
In this context, Matthew 7 is on point.
Deon Cole had a joke about how he regularly went shoplifting at Target and was able to walk away with baskets of stuff, without any hassle from anyone. His secret? Wear a red shirt and some khakis.
“What have those lions ever done for us?”
I wasn’t mistaken for an employee, but one time in the grocery store, a woman asked “can you help me?” I thought she wanted advice on food choices. Nope, she needed me to get something off a top shelf.
That happened to me. Once. I was chuffed. I’m 5’2". 
I’m a reasonably tall woman, but once I needed to get an item from a shelf even I couldn’t reach, not without climbing the shelves. I spotted a couple approaching; the guy was tall; so I walked up to them and said to the woman, “May I borrow your companion to get something for me?” They chuckled, he fetched the item down, and we went on our separate ways, smiling.
I’m not up on my Roman history with regards to Christianity, pre-Constantine. But are you advocating, if not genocide, at the very least institutionalized persecution of a religious group based on your anecdotal experience with one jerk?
Would you have replaced “Romans” with “Nazis” if this woman were Jewish or “American South” if the woman were Black?
As a man of business, I would agree that your company should provide you some coaching for these situations, in case you encounter them in the future. Since they did not appear to, I will:
The woman was completely out of line (I assume. We don’t have her side of the story). But as @What_Exit pointed out, you should have said something like “I’m sorry. I don’t work for the store and are not really familiar with their layout outside of these delicious bread products I am here to deliver fresh daily!”
If she persists, I would just repeat “As I said, I am an employee of the bread company, not the store. My job is really to just deliver and stock our delicious fresh bread as quickly as possible so that discerning customers like yourself can share the nutritious benefits with their family.”
And really after that you should have grabbed the nearest actual store employee or find a store manager and said “Excuse me - this woman is verbally threatening me and interfering with my ability to do my job. Please handle this.”
While i agree that this is a story about an asshole, not about “Christians”, in the OP’s defense, the asshole seems to have intentionally weaponized her own Christianity. She didn’t just happen to be identifiable as a Christian because she was wearing a cross or something.
Basically what puzzlegal said. She weaponized her identity as a “christian”. Makes me very angry because people like her make the rest of us who try to live up to our christian ideals look really bad and I live in a state populated largely by just that type that the woman was. That makes me even more angry because it makes me start to wonder if it wouldn’t actually be better to get rid of religion altogether.
The Roman bit was maybe not the best, never post angry or drive drunk