For the past few years, my mother, who is devoutly Catholic, has been giving my brother-in-law (an atheist) books on religion. Usually the “here’s a story of someone who was atheist and then saw the error of his ways!” sort of thing. The first time, he shrugged it off as her being quirky, but after the third or fourth such gift, he got fairly well pissed off about it.
We were all going to separately buy Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens books to give to her at this year’s family Christmas party, but for unrelated reasons, the family Christmas party isn’t happening this year. Probably just as well, considering.
My sister once sent me a box full of birthday presents. It was a box that was originally for a boom box. She at least had the sense to write “That’s not what’s in here” on the box.
Absolutely. It just ain’t Christmas without some family strife… one year my one sister actually flounced out in a huff because the onions in a casserole were cut too big.
When I was young, 7 or 8 I think, my dad put “snowman poop” in the top of my stocking (little styrofoam pellets in a plastic baggie). It came with a note that had a little rhyme on it… something like, “You’ve been bad this year, so here’s the scoop: all you’re getting is snowman poop!” It was the first thing I opened, and I cried really hard. I still had a lot of other non-poopy presents, but it definitely soured my day.
But I randomly read some of the comments with that video. Someone recalled that the poster of that video commented that the kid actually DID get his Xbox. But I think the kid was too young and they let it go on for way too long for a “you didn’t get it…wait, you DID get it!” kinda joke. A bit older and a few seconds? Not so bad. That age and for a few minutes? Way past funny. Then again, maybe they really were pricks and didn’t get him the Xbox (though all the other gifts visible in the video and the presence of the Xbox box itself make me think he got it).
Stealing office supplies and/or co-workers’ personal property is one of the biggest causes of workplace stress, it seems. It’s incredibly bad for morale. I don’t know how many threads we’ve had about food thieves, for instance. And I imagine that taking a roll of TP is OK if the taker lets the boss know that s/he’ll be bringing in another roll later on in the week. But apparently this thief has a habit of taking the TP, and it’s not a one time occurrence. I have to wonder what else she’s stealing, and whether or not she steals from her co-workers, or only from the workplace. I enjoy a good Shredder Guy story as much as the next person, but I think that flatlined is unusually good natured, as she hasn’t fed him into the shredder. Feet first. The guy steals food and money from EVERYONE he can, and he should have been fired long ago. He’s clearly causing more hassle than he’s worth. And I think that TP lady is probably also a detriment to morale, it’s very aggravating to have to work with a thief, and it can cause other workers to wonder why they are putting forth their best efforts when thieves are allowed to retain their jobs.
I think that it’s far better that the woman in the OP gets a wakeup slap in the face, rather than getting fired in a few weeks or months.
I’d try to make sure to open Christmas presents next to a roaring fire. Then with as much sincerity as I could muster I’d say “Oh, Sally, thank you so much for the combustible paper! You really shouldn’t have, but I bet it’s going to burn really nicely.” Toss into the flames and bask in the glow.
My mother did that once for her coworkers and sisters and brother, only it was mini marshmallows. It was funny for adults, but she’d never be mean enough to do that to a kid. One year my brother got coal candy and he’s still bitter about it.
I ran into my old high school chemistry teacher. We talked about the holidays among other things, and she told me what she got for her daughter-in-law: a maternity blouse. Because she had promised to have a kid this year, and it still hasn’t happened.
I don’t know if my dad was ever being deliberately mean, but…
One year he got my mom a case of some fancy red wine for Christmas. She opened the crate, saw what was inside, and walked out of the room in a huff. Dad was all confused, until my sister and I reminded him that red wine gives Mom migraines, and always has.
This is the same dad who in 1989 bought me and sis a VHS rewinder (seriously, a separate machine to rewind a VHS tape) instead of an answering machine, which the family so desperately needed. He thought he was doing good.
My husband once received 2 2-liter bottles of soda from his aunt and uncle. They bought all of their Christmas gifts at a gas station. No money problems, they just forgot to buy gifts. So people got oil, cigarettes, soda, and the like.
We do a Yankee gift exchange at work, and I was the last one up, and instead of stealing someone else’s gift, I chose to open the last unwrapped gift on the table. My co-workers booed and jeered me because I refused to steal someone’s goft (I think the Yankee gift exchanges are mean and sucky). But I ended up getting a beautiful hand-knit hat and scarf, so I completely lucked out!
My cousin was quite overweight and finding clothes was next to impossible (it’s different w/internet these days). My grandmother found three or four nice blouses for Christmas presents and my cousin went to try them on.
The first one was fine, the second just didn’t seem quite right, but we couldn’t put our fingers on it. By the third we knew-- they were maternity tops! My cousin burst into tears, everybody wanted to just crawl away and hide. My grandmother had to be restrained from harming herself-- she hadn’t known!
My own hatred of gag gifts comes from the Secret Santa gifts my mom got at work one year. Each day she’d get some sex-themed thing in her mail box. My mother wasn’t a prude but she was not the type to appreciate receiving penis candies in a dildo shaped bottle-- at work especially!
The rest of the staff figured out who it was and prevented the reveal day finale. I shudder to think what the guy had in mind. Strippers, ‘a massage’?
