Read the spoiler in post 10.
Why am I more disturbed at the idea of the poor sap the package is intended for, rather than the act of packaging it. What Can Brown Do For You?™, indeed.
I think it’s much easier if you saw the legs off the stool first
Yep, I missed it. I’m afraid mine wouldn’t fit.
“I got chunks of guys like you in my stool!” - Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra, SNL
You mean one healthy session should just be a single gigantic turd that circles the bowl? No turdlettes for quick a ploomp?
No, I mean that most people have more than one peristaltic action with each session of pooping. Each “push”, however, “ought to” be a solid stool, to indicate optimal health and diet.
“Ought to” like we all “ought to” be exercising 5 times a week and eating more leafy greens, of course. Most people do have stool that falls apart.
While I’ve got an expert here, how much of pooping is voluntary muscle movement? Does the “push” come naturally or is it really pushing?
I’m not sure, honestly. I know we have voluntary control over the outermost anal sphincter, but not the inner ones, and some voluntary control over the pelvic floor muscles which surround the anus. I also know that peristalsis (the wavelike action of the digestive tract from the esophagus all the way down through the stomach, small intestine, large intestine, colon and rectum - it’s all just one tube that gets wider in some areas) is entirely involuntary. I’m not sure if bearing down to push actually does anything, or how much it does.
Thanks. This sounds like a call for a new GQ thread. But I’ve already started one thread on poop today, so it’s not going to be me.
Not me. When I get the urge, I can hardly contain it until I sit down, then it is all expelled in one PA-LOPPP!
bolus = input
turd = output
When floating in a pool, ‘Blind Mullet’ or ‘Brown Trout’.
Wait a million years and you can call it a 'corprolite '.
Great, I finally get people on the SDMB talking about my package, and this is the context.
Oh, wait, I forgot about this thread.
Man. I’ve found some weird stuff in the back of my fridge, but nothing of post 10’s spoiler’s caliber…
I’ve always thought most terms for “poop” were both singular and plural, but I admit I have not brushed up on my scatological vocabulary since I was about, oh, 4 or so. 
The things one learns…