Men and Women in the Workplace

The topic of this thread is how men and women relate, and struggle, in the workplace and/or school.

Have you ever observed people of the same gender forming coalitions against members of the opposite sex?

Is the behavior of a person different when dealing with a member of the opposite sex alone versus when there is a worker of the same sex as the subject in the conversation? For example, does Bill treat Rose differently when Mark is in the conversation? Does Mary treat John differently when Kate is around the corner?

In bilateral conflicts, are people more or less secure when there are same-sex coworkers around?

My coworker M. is a confident, cheeful, intelligent woman. She has almost always been more than happy to answer any of my questions, and she is very entertaining in water-cooler talk. In short, she is usually a great person to work with.

I’m a customer service rep. That means I deal with customers a lot … end-users (clients of my company), not resellers (business partners of my company). M. is chief of the reseller section. So I get a call from a reseller who has a request I don’t have any clue how to deal with. I go and find M., who unfortunately is chatting with C., one of those coworkers who is not as pleasant as untreated sewage. Anyway, I ask M. if she has any idea why I would have gotten a call from a reseller.

“Well maybe it’s because I hung up on him!” Mutual giggles from M. and C.

“Do you want to talk to him?” I ask, uncomprehending.

“No. He’s someone you should deal with since D. [the reseller admin] is away from her desk.”

“Oh. Okay. He wants to order a bunch of equipment and his account number didn’t seem valid - I usually order stuff through the appropriate sales representative … who would that be for a reseller?” Obviously a very stupid question.

M. could be barely stop her giggling enough to explain that a couple of people in her department were sales reps. C. hollered at me (she only ever speaks in hollering) that everyone already knew that so-and-so were the sales reps and blah blah blah.

“So you want me to treat these two like I would any other sales representative?” despite the fact that it isn’t their job titles, they don’t have sales account numbers, and they don’t report to the sales manager.

I can’t remember if one or both of them said it, but it was made clear that I should.

Later on I checked this up with the boss, and she said, no, I should just take a message for D., since I’m not on the right side of the operation to deal with resellers, or even to figure out what they’re talking about (he had ordered a bunch of equipment I’d never heard of).

Why was M. trying to make an exception in the rules? Could it possibly be that it would be good for a few laughs? Would M. have laughed off a substantial order like that if C. hadn’t been around? I can’t picture that.