This happened to me in a rather pricey restaurant:
Waiter: “And what to drink, Sir?”
Me: “Coors Light”
Waiter, deadpanning: “I’m sorry sir, but we don’t serve horse piss.”
So I laugh and tell him to pick a beer for me. He did, and it was better than the Coors, so I’ve got no gripe. I even tipped him extra.
I’ve never been insulted in the manner that the OP describes. That sort of thing would NOT result in a tip!
I was at a greek place last weekend, and I ordered a bowl of oatmeal and a fruit plate. The server said, “It’s a really big plate, are you sure you want all that?”
I said “Yes, I would like some fruit.”
She said, “It’s this big,” and made a shape with her hands. “Are you certain you want it?”
By this point I felt like a total pig but I said firmly, “YES. I am going to SHARE.”
And I didn’t end up sharing, and I took some home with me, but after telling her three times that I wanted some (#&^$% fruit I was about pissed, let me tell you. I’m not thin, so I guess I took it a little to heart, but still. You’d think they would want people to eat, it’s a freakin restaurant, for christ’s sake.
In response to the original question: Never, and I’m 45 years old and carry a little extra weight. I’m astonished at your experience.
dre2xl, where do you live? I just can’t imagine this being acceptable, and if the server was really being rude as opposed to being clumsily helpful, I’d be in the back room trying to get his/her butt fired.
Never happened to me and I’m a big fat guy. If it did, I’d be talking to the manager and then leaving in rapid fashion.
Wow, never thought it’d get this many responses. Thank you for your input and stories everyone… most of you confirm my suspicions. To those who said to complain to the manager… you have the right idea, but I’m gutless and this Ethiopian server most likely works for free for her family so I had to give her a big tip anyway. 
Indygrrl: You’re right, I did run a lot. I didn’t even really start out losing weight, I simply tried to walk 40 minutes a day and didn’t have time to snack throughout the day. Then, when I discovered I had lost weight, I upped the pace. Never starved myself or anything.
Eventually, I had to quit running for an year because of injuries. I’ve started running 3 miles a day again, but right now, the thing that’s keeping my metabolism up is bodybuilding rather than aerobics. That way I don’t have to starve myself if I skip running. 
Bodybuilding workouts are much, much more efficient at raising “resting” metabolism than running or strength training. The workouts are aimed at increasing muscle mass as quick as possible, which in turn rapidly increases the amount of calories you burn all day long. I lose weight if I eat below 2000 calories… that’s a very high metabolism for a woman my size. Of late, my upper body has been looking very masculine, but it’s worth it.
Munch–Good comeback… wish I’d thought of it! But, yeah, the thought that she was losing out on tips did occur. Weird.
dnooman–The stereotype you speak of is, unfortunately, intensified by a social pressure on a woman to eat as little as possible. I’ve been guilty of being self-concious of my appetite with first dates, myself. The pressure is highest in a group of other similarly self-concious women, IMHO.
Celyn–“do you wish the half bannock with my blessing, or the whole bannock with my curse?”… you, ma’am, are a master of the written word in all sincerity. To answer your question in the first post you made… yes, my mother does the same thing. She complained I was too fat, now she complains that I’m too thin. And no matter what, she’s always criticizing the number of calories, whether it’s too much or too little. Nobody’s ever happy. I’m happy with the current height/weight ratio, too.
Limbo Donni–Your experience is the worst one of the stories here. Geeeeeez. Was this at Sbarro’s?
tpayne–I was overweight in rural North Carolina and thin in urban New York. I don’t think it has anything to do with location. Though, nearly all the servers who made these comments were very young (25 or under)…
I am agog. I’ve been fat pretty much my whole life, and I eat out all the time. And I eat a lot of crap food. And I’ve never had a server tell me something like that. Not even close. My God! How do these people make it through life with all their teeth intact?
Female here, smallish build. And I eat more than most men that I know. I regularly wolf down three or four Big Macs, with supersized fries and a salad on the side. And I’m so tired of snarky comments from waiters/waitresses at sit-down restuarants.
“That’s a big sandwich, honey. You sure you want that?” (Yeah, I’m freaking HUNGRY! And don’t forget the side of onion rings!)
“You want me to bring an extra plate, so you and your mom can split that?” (No, this is all for me, and that’s my sister, not my mother!)
“Oh, that dessert is too much for one person. Y’all want two spoons?” (Nope, he can get his own damn dessert. This is MINE.)
I simply have a healthy appetite. And I’m blessed with a hummingbird-like metabolism that allows me to eat whatever I want. I’m not a criminal for chowing down, and I’m sick of being treated as such. (And yes, I’d like extra cheese with my whine.)
I’m a a fairly tall and large man and I’ve never had this happen. It’s not even in the realm of things that I’d think would be possible. Servers actually say this to you… to your face? Amazing!
Rude servers should make sure to watch the 1st episode of the Sopranos this season (although he wasn’t rude while waiting the table).
My advise, take it with a grain of salt, tip accordingly, and if you are really steamed, ask to speak with management before you leave (if nothing else it may result in a discount).
First off, I would say that the waiters were rude.
Second, I would say that maybe the difference is seen that it is seen as okay for guys to have that big an appetite. “Hollow legs syndrom”, guys NEED all that food for energy. Women? Pfft, why do they need to eat that much? Hun all you need to do is sit and look pretty. You eat that much and sit and look pretty you’ll just blow up like a blimp…
Ugh… That’s what it seems like to me at least. I certainly don’t advocate that mindset though. If someone wants to eat that much, eat. It’s not my decision to make for them.
Guy here. Never even heard of that.
My ex used to order a supersize big mac meal and another big mac on the side and I never heard anything like that to her. (She was larly large).
Man here. I’m a smidge over 6’ if I stand up straight. Roughly 170 - 175 pounds, last I checked. Limbo Donni mentions that this is normal, but I must carry it differently because I’ve always been called scrawny.
One night after work I went out to eat and ordered a Big Norski, which is a full pound hamburger. I ordered a salad (no dressing; don’t like the taste) with it. The waitress smiled a little and laughed a little and waited expectantly for me to place my real order. I just smiled a little back and nodded.
She gave me a strange look and said, “God, you scrawny people can eat anything.”
I wasn’t offended (she was cute, and hey, maybe she was flirting with me! ;)), but I thought it rather strange that she would mention my scrawniness like that. I mean, I call myself scrawny, as do my friends. But to have a stranger comment on my body type like that is weird.
I ate the entire salad, the entire burger, and then to the waitresses amazement (and really only to amaze her since I wasn’t all that hungry anymore) ordered a piece of turtle cheesecake for dessert and consumed it all eagerly. Hah!
Fat guy here. The only time a server questioned my order (directly) was to warn me off of a special on the menu that sucked. She got a big tip for doing that…
(indirectly) One other time, long ago, VunderWife and I were in a Sizzler, and the server refused to bring us our orders because she was sure we were there for the salad bar. I ended up shouting at the manager, “Who the hell do I have to blow to get my meal?” in a very public scene.
About 2 months ago, I was in my local Hooter’s for the all you can eat chicken wings. I must be a cheap customer, because I’m good for about 2 plates worth, and the waitress that night brought me 4 (in her defense, they were insanely busy). She ended up with a big tip for sneaking me a carry-out box, which is forbidden on AYCE items. Yum, Hooter’s Buffalo Wings for lunch…
I did go to a Denny’s once and was complimented on my selection of the Super Bird as my entree. I think the server was on drugs.
Female, overweight here. I’ve never had a server or counter person comment on my order. I think I may give off a vibe of, “I’ll fucking kill you if you talk to me more than necessary.” That’s my best guess, anyway. A single comment like that would probably ruin any chance of a tip, and would probably cause me to contact a manager.
I’ve never had servers commenting on my food choice. I’ve had friends comment though. But it was always “You haven’t eaten anything! Go into my kitchen and eat something before I tell your mother!” (This was when they had gotten it into their heads that I was anorexic. I wasn’t.)
The only time I ever remember someone commenting on food was when I was in America. When we were in Pizza Hut my dad ordered a large pizza, the waitress very politely asked if he was sure he’d be able to eat it all.
If anyone was rude to me onmy choice of food I would have to give them
the glare of death!
I used to work in Burger King and never commented on what people ordered. It’s their choice.
To be fair, the Super Bird is a kick-ass sammich. This doesn’t remove the possibility that the server was on drugs, of course.
Not really what the OP was looking for, but I’ve had a waitress argue with me (in the same tone of voice one would use on a 6-year-old in a similar situation) when I requested only fries, no other side orders with my steak. She was aghast that I didn’t want any vegetables. :rolleyes:
She didn’t get a tip.
I think it may be a woman.man thing. I’m a big guy, and this has never happened to me.
It may be because if a waiter were to criticize my order, he’d soon be wearing it.
Fat female here.
I, too, am utterly astonished to hear that servers comment on what you order! I have never had anyone do anything like that. Recently I had a waiter warn me that something was smaller than I might expect, but that’s about it. (I ordered an appetizer only since I wasn’t very hungry, and the waiter kindly told me that it was a particularly small appetizer.)
I’ve also never had a supermarket cashier comment on my purchases, aside from asking me about how I prepare some unusual vegetable or something like that.
Where do you people live that this kind of thing is acceptable? Man, I’ll have to add this to my long list of reasons that I’m glad I live in Jersey. A Jersey Girl would kick your ass if you pulled that shit on her.