Men: for a large cash payment, would you agree to wear only traditional women's garb for one year?

By traditional women’s garb, I mean dresses, skirts, blouses, and so forth. No slacks or pantsuits allowed, nor anything that would be considered unisex. You needn’t wear stiletto heels, but you must wear women’s shoes/boots. You may or may not wear women’s underwear; that’s your call. Cosmetics are likewise up to you.

By large cash payment, I mean $500,000, payable as follows. $10,000 a month, payable by direct deposit on the fifteenth of each month for every month except for the first. In the first month you get $5,000 one week beforehand, which you may use to buy your new wardrobe, and then another five grand on the ides. If you make it through the entire year, you get a $380,000 bonus. Taxes are your problem.

You need only wear women’s garb in public; do whatever you want at home. But you can expect random visits to verify that you’re holding up your end of the deal, and if you decide to live off the stipend and never go outside, you will be considered to be cheating and will be cut loose. The first time you’re found outside of, ah, uniform, you’ll sacrifice half your pay for that month. The second time you’ll sacrifice the entire month’s pay, and the third time you’re out entirely. If you have a REALLY good reason–say, you had to drive your spouse/kid to the ER in the middle of the night and so did not have time to do anything more than throw a coat over your pajamas–you may appeal for mercy and may well be granted it, but Management’s decision on your appeal will be final.

A contract will be drawn up for you to sign. You may of course retain a lawyer to look it over beforehand, but Management will not provide or pay for said counsel for reasons left as an exercise for the class. Management does not give a fuck how you explain your new wardrobe to others.

Male Dopers: Any takers? Female Dopers with male SOs: would you be bothered if your man took Management up on this offer?

Incidentally, if the rules don’t make it clear, you’re expected to keep your current job if you take the deal, unless of course your boss fires you. But you can’t just up and quit.

Dammit I want choices!!!

But hey, I’ll let them shave my head and sew a penis on me for the right price.

I’m a guy and I said I would NOT do it.
I have no objection to the idea, I just need more money.
$500K ain’t enough.

No. Not enough money. $2 million, minimum.

Just to be clear when you say management does not give a fuck how you explain your new wardrobe to others, an I allowed to say, “this crazy billionaire is paying me $500000 to dress like this for a year”, and possibly even show people copies of the contract? I’d pretty much bite your arm off either way, but that would make it a lot easier.

Half-a-million? I have to take care of my family. Most people I know will understand if I explain it. So, yeah.

Choices, choices, choices. It’s like you think you’re a grown adult or something.

This is not an Evil!Skald thread, dearest. But if it were, and if Rhymer Enterprises were offering such a deal to you, you might wish to consider that
i) we’d probably go whole-hog and require you to have your brain transplanted into a male body;
b) we’d definitely be doing so because we wanted you to kill someone and this was part of your disguise; and
Ɣ) seeing as how you’d be physiologically mostly male at that point, you’d no longer be spared by The Rules from being murdered if you failed in whatever the whacking assignment was.

Of course you can say that. Management sincerely does not give a fuck how you explain things.

Wait, let me take that back. Take it as g given that the contract will forbid you you to explain things in such a way as to expose Management to legal liability. In other words, you can’t claim that Management is holding your loved ones hostage to force this, or has implanted a bomb in your head, or whatnot. But if you prefer not to reveal the venal nature of your motives, you can say that you’re just trying something new for a while.

No, not enough money.

Yeah, I feel like the first couple weeks would be the worst, but after that pretty much everyone at work would be used to it. And I live in Chicago, so a man walking around in a skirt and women’s shoes is far from the top of oddest thing in public.

Although, my boss is a little crazy about “professionalism,” so I’ll probably be fired.

Nah. I’d make an exceptionally ugly woman and $500k isn’t enough to do it for the year with the stipulations of how I live my life as well (must go to work, must leave the house, etc).

Fuck yeah I’d do it if I could explain to people that I’m getting paid for it. And my attire would cause me to be fired from my job anyway so I’d just collect the money and enjoy life. Albeit in women’s clothes.

Chicken casserole sounds delicious, and I bet my SO would make a beautiful woman.

Sure, $500K is about right.

I think I would try it, although my partner would be mortified, so I’d have to give him half the money. Which is fine because we, like, live together and stuff.

Except for one thing: you said taxes are my problem, and I don’t know how I would avoid taxes eating up at least half of this money. So I’m changing my vote until you make it $500K after taxes.

If only it were possible for you to hire an accountant.

The payment would have to be substantially larger, maybe $2 million total, before I’d definitely say yes. I’d at least consider it for $500,000, but I’d probably end up saying no.

I have no problem with it; in fact I’d do it for less. And can I wear a sari? Some of them are gorgeous, and if I’m gonna dress like a woman, I wanna be a *stunning *woman.

And I’d be ok with my (male) partner doing it too. At 6’10", he’d be gruesome.

But not if it involves implants or amputations. :eek:

$500k? I am so there. If I had to wear heels, that’d probably require quite a bit more cash.