Heheheh…I’m one of those wives. The thing is, I’ve never had proper pimples, so I never got the fun of squeezing them. Yes, I know how that sounds and I’m very grateful to have skipped that teenage stage. But damn, squeezing them is so satisfying!
I don’t know how the Lovely and Talented Mrs. Shodan can hear the pop over my screams, but I cannot turn my back on her whilst shirtless and not undergo the treatment. But no, “leave it alone” is not in her vocabulary.
My ex had back zits that could make a woman such as myself forgive any transgression. And when he was transgression free, I would have done horrible, horrible things for him if he would have been willing to give me free reign over his back zits in return. It could have been a wonderful arrangement, but he had the pain-threshold of a heroin-withdrawing five-year-old, and there was nothing I could promise that’d make it worth his while. We fought more over pimples and eyebrow tweezing (and his being a baby) than anything else. And, I admit…during the times when he cut me off completely, there were even a few (okay, a LOT) of instances when I cheated on him–with another guys’ (and a couple girls’) zits. Backs, noses, ingrown-leg hairs…the odd sebaceous cyst…I got around the block. But the whole time I was doing it, I really wanted it from him…but I had nothing else to get me through the night. I mean, a girl has needs.
Damn, I’m jonesing so bad right now…
…if any of you guys with wives who won’t put out when it comes to pimple popping are looking for a little something-something on the side, PM me.
(And for all you dudes who won’t give a girl her fix…really, as far as the pain thing goes, suck it up–it doesn’t hurt that much (unless it’s a lip zit [or worse, the other kind of lip zit–don’t talk to me about a painful pimple until you’ve had an ingrown labe-hair]). Besides, any pimple popper worth her salt should possess a relatively pain-free extraction technique. And I’m sure most of you could come up with a trade-off that would appease both parties.
As an aside, one of the reasons that my ex married me is that I would pop the very painful eruptions on his back. It hurt for a bit, but then he could lean back in a chair without pain.
Not only is my wife a squeezer, she’s converted my daughter (age 2 1/2) as well. Often at inappropriate times, such as when company’s over, she’ll come up to me and say, “Daddy, I wanna look for owies!” Um. heh heh. Kids. No idea what she’s talking about. Ahem.
Yeah, the kiddo gets to search my back while the wife violently (and painfully) assaults whatever is found. I especially like how my wife says, “Ready?” after she starts the squeeze.
I must be abnormal. There is not a wifely duty I dislike more than popping back zits. I do it because I love my husband and his can be painful. I only pop the bad ones and only if he begs. blech.
I have no problem taking care of my own zits, however. It’s just the thought of someone else’s pus that is so gross.
Ack! Quasimodem, for a second I thought you were MY husband, anonymously berating me on the Straight Dope Message Boards for loving to squeeze your zits. Thankfully, I have confirmed you are NOT my husband. My husband gives me full permission to tackle his pimples. But he does have a very low threshold for pain, and sometimes I feel bad when I can tell a zit ain’t gonna pop, and he’s hurting because I’m squeezing too hard, but I still won’t stop.
It’s good to know I’m not the only zit-popping freak out there.
Attacking my husband’s blemishes is not the most sexy thing in the world, but feeling the lumps and bumps of swelling zits is worse. So I confess–I “groom” him.
And he can just shut up about the pain. Suck it up, big boy. I’ve no patience for your yelps and squeals.
When my daughter was an acne prone teen, she would remark that sometimes she felt like a baby gorilla. Now that she’s 30, she has far fewer blemishes…however, a painful zit on her back will make her wish that she still lived at home, or at least within a few miles, so that I could remove it for her. When she visits, she always has me check her back and remove or pop anything that can be taken care of.
My husband has a thick, coarse, wavy beard, and one of the first things I learned about married life is that he needed me to remove his ingrown hairs occasionally. Maybe that’s one of the reasons he wanted to get married so early. I try to groom his eyebrow, and pluck out the hairs in the center of it, and also pluck his ear hairs, but he insists that he’ll get them trimmed at the barber’s, but he never does.
OK, I am officially disgusted by an internet thread.
Trust me…that’s no small feat. I’ve been to Stile Project, I’ve been to Rotten.com, I’ve been to Gurochan.
But women…enjoying?..attacking zits on their man…
I just threw up a little.
/not the clearest skinned man
//fuck if I’d let anyone try to squeeze my own zits
///dobule fuck if I’d ever let anyone who wanted to do such a thing even share a bed with me
