My Fiancee Just Shot Herself In The Face [TMI]

Well, it’s not as morbid as all that.

First, hello all. I’ve been gone for a little under a year, save a check-in post a few days or weeks ago. I hope you’re well. I’m engaged again and I sell health insurance now. I also have a new laptop. Life is good.

Anyway, the lady was sitting cross-legged in front of me staring at my face in that way that means that she is about to go pore-hunting. I saw the gleam in her eyes as she looked over my nose – usually good for a blackhead or three. I try to use the Oil of Olay stuff she sets out, but then I get distracted.

She poked me for a bit, as she is wont to do. Lovely girl. Then, oh then, she spotted it. A small, purple dot right between my eyes.

The Zit.

Little did she know that I had actually taken care of that particular growth the night before. It was really remarkable when I did – I merely came close enough to deliver to it a proper hello and it fired its goodness all over the mirror. It had been a while since I had enjoyed one with such propulsive force, and I chortled as I Windexed. When her eyes darted between mine and then lit up, ooooh, I thought something delightful may be afoot.

Well, having been recently emptied, that particular pore hadn’t had time to reload fully. Pity – although, it had a copious amount of blood hiding just below the surface. I don’t usually get zits such as that, and I was curious to see what would happen.

She arranged her tiny little hands (she’s 4’11" – awww) about the area and gave it a bit of a press. I suppressed a smile as I daydreamed about what could have been, if only she had happened across the fellow the day prior. Then, she blinked. Blink blink. Blink.


And that rather summed it up. The right side of her face was…well, covered in blood. It was really impressive. Rather reminiscent of that one scene in Jurassic Park where the girl (I forget her name, the young one, not the botanist) was in the car after the T-Rex attacked it. You know, she’s lying on her side and you see half of her face and you think "Oh, well, she’s not so - " and then she turns, and you notice that the other half of her countenance is obscured by most of whatever fluids exited the elevator in that one scene in the Shining.

And it says something about the quality of this particular online forum that, upon seeing her shocked expression behind my blood and having only made one post here in a very long while that I immediately thought “Oh, well the SDMB should know about this.”

And bless the little trooper, she went and got a washcloth, wiped herself off, and then came back and continued The Hunt. What a catch!

That’s kinda hot…

Makes me wonder what happened to the ones before…

Mum went nuts squeezing spots for us when we were in our teens. It was a grim revenge when one went splat in her face.

My boyfriend is a squeezer, and I’m going to laugh myself sick if this ever happens to him when he’s dealing with a zit of mine.

Oh god.

A Zit thread.

Have you guys ever thought of filling the idle hours with, oh, I don’t know, hot monkey sex?

Have you been eating enough fruit?

I’ve seen it mentioned here before, is squeezing an SO’s zits really that commonplace? I’d never do it and if my boyfriend tried it on me, I’d punch him.

My wife is fairly obsessed with it for some reason, but meh. Also, you never ask your SO for help with that when you have one on, say, your lower back or something?

Ew. No.

supervenusfreak tries to get me to “help” with those ones but he knows my stance on that…your zit, your problem. I don’t even like to squeeze MINE, and he knows better than to try. Now, anyway.

Pretty much what jayjay said, I don’t squeeze my zits, I try to dry them out with acne meds and then pick at them. :stuck_out_tongue: I don’t believe I’ve ever had one on my back and my bf has never asked me to take care of his. I have asked him to pluck any mutant back hairs he may find, as I am a delicate flower and should not have back hairs.

The zit-poking is for when you are resting up from the other kind of poking.

My Wife is a fiend for zit hunting. Give her half a chance and she’s there digging in with her nails. All the while instructing “Stop moving” “It does not hurt” “Stop squeeling like a little girl” :frowning:

wooohooo! Zits!

Only on the Dope and popthatzit DOT com does a girl get such hot action.

I’m a lifelong picker-squeezer-poker-scraper. I’m not sure how some of those people who have videotaped their zits can leave them alone that long. ewww.

I’ve found, with my wife, that I have never been able to stop her with less of a threat than “if you don’t stop squeezing that thing we’re getting a divorce”.

It does sound weird. You get over it the first time you have a zit in a place that you can’t reach to put meds on but that is constantly getting irritated–I occasionally get one in the small of my back, for example.