Cosmetic surgery at home!
(The following post is pretty disgusting)
I’d noticed a very small zit forming below my lip for a few weeks. It wasn’t really a problem, you couldn’t really see it, and it didn’t hurt unless I messed with it, which I only did once. Apparently, that was enough to piss it off. It retaliated to my polite prodding by expanding to the size of a marble in two days. I could feel it inside my lip, and it was rock hard.
I have pretty oily skin, and always have a zit/blackhead here or there, but this thing was just enormous. I kept a band-aid over it to avoid actually touching it, but it kept growing…larger and larger, taunting me, teasing me, I think it actually made a face at me once.
I named it Olga, and she was the topic of quite a few conversations this evening. After accidentally scratching her, I decided it was time to divorce myself from this gargantuan pus sack and send her back to the oily hell she came from.
On to the nasty part…
I geared up, armed to the teeth, one might say, for my zit fighting crusade. I held a warm compress on her for a while, and seemed to be getting nowhere. The pain became intolerable, so I decided to use the heavy artillery. Contrary to logic and the idea of self preservation, I grabbed a needle, dipped it in neosporin ( after sterilizing it with rubbing alcohol) and commenced to give Olga the poking of a lifetime.
Chaos ensued.
I got a little blood with the first poke, wiped the sweat from my brow and took aim for a second shot. “Jackpot!” I said to myself as I began to squeeze, and noticed a white goo begin to come forth. A little more pressure, and POW! an explosion of pus onto my mirror, with a satisfying report that gave me chills. And then another. Wipe it off, another squeeze, more pus, a little blood, more pus…“Hmmmmm” thought I, “Isn’t this whole pus thing supposed to end sometime soon”.
The battle raged for nearly twenty minutes. I actually took a break, slammed a beer (anasthesia, you see) and smoked a cigarette at one point during the struggle.
I had to wipe off the mirror four times, and I went through about seven tissues. She must have squirted about ten times, and I mean good squirts too, audible, long range, mirror soiling pus streams.
I think this is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
After blasting what I hope was most of filling out of this nauseating pus-filled face twinkie, I covered the needle in neosporin and could actually insert in the same hole and move it around inside the lump on my face. It was pretty wierd, I’ve never stuck a needle in myself, nor have I watched it move around inside my skin. All in all, the whole thing was probably a bad idea, all I can do is hope that Olga suffered worse than I will…
Anyway, I just had to share it with someone, so I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did 