Men's Footless Panty Hose

Today while checking Amazon to see if my order shipped; I peeked at the “New and Interesting Finds.” I found a cute key chain shaped like a wedge of watermelon shipped by “Suppion” so I checked their storefront to see what else they sell.

Among other things I found ”Men Footless Panty Hose"

As a female who suffered many a day wearing pantyhose I just have to ask WHY.

Attention all you men who have been wishing for these; but have not as yet tried them:

your package will not thank you
it will be hot and sweaty and uncomfortable, regardless of the “extra space”
also these HAVE FEET!

I’ll bet the key chain isn’t real watermelon.

Gotta be a drag thing.

Whatever the reason a man wants these is fine; I just wanted to warn, in case they were not aware, that panty hose are not comfortable and they should go with garters and stockings. :smiley:

Garters and stockings? You want a bloke to look like a cocktail waitress? Nay, nay these are definitely a classier alternative. One must sometimes sacrifice comfort for style to keep a look together.

bolding mine

only in the privacy of my own home:D

sometimes I make my boyfriend wear only one of my frilly aprons

Actually, I want a bloke to be a cocktail waitress. Someone to bring me drinks and the occasional snack sounds divine.

As a bisexual person, I can only say that I am confused by this.

I can confirm that it is not necessary to be bisexual to find this confusing. :slight_smile:

Maybe it’s like the Canadian education system - eagerly picking up the “latest” idea just after the Americans have dropped it because it obviously doesn’t work. :slight_smile:

  • The models for the hose are women
  • As stated, they aren’t footless
  • So there’s extra space for your junk.
  • But like, a long tube-like space for your junk. Not just a bulge space.
  • Oh my gosh, they want you to put your penis into the pantyhose tube.
  • Actually if I had a penis I’m sure that’d be kind of delightful.

Y’know, having worked through this (mentally) I’m going to retract my previous assertion about this being a drag thing in favor of fetish thing. Something tells me these aren’t meant to be worn out of the house. Or even for very long.

Whoever designed that thing had never seen a man’s penis.

I assumed they’d misspelled “footloose”.

I think it’s s gag gift.


I know I would gag…

Hey, let’s stick with one kink at a time! :wink:

Panty hose can provide compression, which can improve circulation and tired muscles. They also help prevent chafing. I can see why someone might wear them, regardless of gender.

Possible advertising phrases:
-Wrap some nylon around your python!

-Includes a hickey for your dickey!

-Our hose have a place for yours!

-Equipped with a built in, automatic pee strainer to catch all those pesky kidney stones!

-Well, if they’re going to point and laugh anyway…

Looking at Suppions’s other merchandise, it looks like they are quite the versatile company! Who else would make “Squishy Chicken baby Scented Squeeze Slow Rising Fun Toy Relieve Stress Cure GiftandButterfly Rotary Tattoo Machine for Shader Tattoo Machine Makeup Tool (Blue)”?