Okay. chunkies, the brown days, bad skin, pimples, cravings, moodswings…
No one else has mentioned my personal monthly… (or should I say every 26 days or less…) favourite … diarrhea! Lots of liquid nasty undigested food… Bowel cramps, uterine cramps, the most incredible smell…
So basically I just sit on the toilet praying for it to all end. Soon.
(But the hockey play offs have started and I wont be having sex for at least a month or two, so i guess I wont be getting pregnant for a few more cycles.)
Actually it was a lot worse, but I had a D&C in October…now I only bleed once a month instead of at day 1 and day 12, and it lasts for 4 days, instead of a week. (Each time).
I have given birth, and I have had horrible cramps that could not be described. Let me say that giving birth was not any fun, and anyone who says it is comparable to cramps is full of shit. However, I will say that even though cramps can still double me over, make me break out ina cold sweat, and feel like my innards are being pulled out by a LARGE crochet hook, it is more tolerable since I gave birth . I still wish I had gotten my tubal ligation done when I was 21! It may not have stopped the hormones, but…
The first time I got my period it leaked out all over the ass of my pants. It was soooo awful. Luckily, I had a sweater to tie around my waist and no-one said anything…I really really hope no one noticed.
And mine is pretty irregular. I never have a clue about when it’s coming, except my boobs hurt. I know it’ll come in a couple of days when I have to hold my boobs still while riding the bus, because bouncing up and down hurts too much.
I remember an old National Lampoon story that had two choices of tampon sizes, Little Miss Moon Maid and Stuck Pig.
I guess I was lucky; pre-age 30, especially when I was on the pill, I had 2-3 day periods, not much cramping, no headaches, no bloating.
Then I had my second child. (I blame lots of things on my son – my screwed-up metabolism being the highlight!) Since that day, I’ve had hideous cramps, and it just gets heavier and heavier and heavier. Stuck Pig ain’t the half of it.
I then had the TRULY delightful experience of developing full-blown menopause symptoms – except for no periods, of course! – at age 42, and was on HRT for several years. I didn’t KNOW that there was worse than periods, but trust me, a 7-hour nonstop hot flash beats ANYTHING menstruation has to offer! We won’t discuss the night sweats, sleeplessness, migraines, etc…
Good news is that it’s finally tapering off; as I approach the big 50, I’m down to one period ever 2-3 months, and this most recent one came with NO cramps and NO heavy bleeding! Yay!! And I no longer wake up 3-4 times a night bathed in sweat, to where I have to change my clothes (and sometimes the sheets), and I don’t have hardly any hot flashes, and I’m off the hormones. There IS an end in sight, ladies, and I’m here to tell you it’s just around the corner – can’t be too soon for me, let me tell you!!
Hmmm.
Bleed once every six months, check
Bleed for one day only, check.
One tampon only required, check
No pain, no clots or clumps, no cramps, no PMS, check.
It’s kinda ironic for someone who wishes they didn’t have a reproductive system, to have such a flawless, well designed one that gives them zero problems.
Every post I’ve read in this thread has both grossed me out and reminded me of every stinking thing I go through when “the time comes.” I want to curl up in the fetal position and rock back and forth while my Mommy soothes me and tells me everything will be okay. But it won’t be okay, 'cause there’s the bleeding and cramping and genital boogers and insides feeling like they want to slide out and leakage and back pains and AAUUUGGGHHH!
pizzabrat, I will curse you to the end of your days for inflicting this thread upon me! May you go through exactly what we women go through, once a month for 40 years! May your back ache and your abdomen cramp! May you have gooey boogers coming out of your manly bits! May you crave chocolate and suffer mood swings! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ahem.
I do have a question for the actual women in this thread, though. My periods are irregular. Very irregular. I can go from once a month to once every two and a half months. I was on the pill in college and that fixed it (and greatly reduced my abdomen-wrenching cramps) but now I can’t afford it. Should I see a doctor anyway?
I used to wonder what it would be like to be a woman and have multiple orgasms… now I’d really rather not know. Take all the orgasms you want, while I just sit here thanking Og that my Y chromosome prevents the words “genital snot” from having any relevance to my life.
Not to mention childbirth, and having to sit down to pee (or at least, not being able to pee standing up without practice).
I am thoroughly grossed out after reading some these posts. And trust me, that’s not easy to do. I don’t envy anyone that has to go through this every month. Leaving thread now. Trying to block images from mind.
Me too, KCSuze, but I just haven’t scheduled an appt. yet. (“Me too” as far as the irregular periods and mind-blowing cramps, which were eliminated in my late teens by a year’s stint on the Pill, at the Doc’s recommendations to straighten out my “wacky hormones.” I’ve been off it for six years now and slowly but surely the periods are becoming irregular again; of course the cramps came back immediately.)
I do think it’s something to discuss with a Doc; I need to make an appt at Planned Parenthood, cuz I sure can’t afford anything else.
Nope, just normal, if heavy, leukkorhea. My OB knows. I have had yeast infections, and this is no yeast infection, and I have been closely monitored for infections generally this pregnancy with GD and all.
juji_mojo, I guess I had just been trying to block that part out!!! I don’t get diarrhea, per se, just really soft poo. TONS of really soft poo. THREE or FOUR times A DAY.
(And the tampon string gets in the way when you’re trying to wipe … and your bum hurts from ALL THE WIPING … and it’s the STINKIEST poo to ever emit from your body!!!)
The first time this happened to me, I, like Roseanne Rosanadanna, thought I was gonna die! Strong motivation to avoid becoming anemic ever, ever again.
In some ways, my genes are not the best, but, goll darn it, I am happy to be blessed with light periods except on rare occasions when my system is out of whack from some dang ailment. On the other hand, my allergies make my miserable in other ways……
Anyone know what those menstrual painters do with the chunks?
