Planned Parenthood! :smack: I have no idea why I didn’t think of that. Thanks, Audrey! You rock!
Man I am so glad I am a guy…
This thread has taught me all sorts of horrible things I never knew about menstruation. Blood clots?! Horrible bowel movements?! Jeez it sounds like a woman’s body spends 5 days a month attempting to turn itself inside out!
And the descriptions you laidies give about the cramp feelings- having ones inside’s yanked out with a giant crotchet hook?! :eek: makes me cringe!
I always describe the feeling of y cramps as if someone is twirling my fallopian tubesaround and around like spaghetti on a fork.
Or one of those guys that can reach in and rip out the heart and other organs, like in Indiana Jones, is doing that with my female bits, and /or intestines.
Or. My insides are hosting a sort of S&M whips and chain three day party for hyperactive poltergeists.
Does anybody else get tissue-only periods? I’ve had a couple now where I get the boogers but no blood. The boogers are like a dried-blood shade of brown. Pisses me off, I can’t decide if that counts as a period or not. I spent about two years missing every other period, and then my body straightened itself up just in time for they gyno to NOT figure out why I was missing in the first place, and now not only do I never know when I’m getting it (from a month to a month and 2 weeks apart). And then when I do, I can’t always decide if it’s really a period or not because sometimes I get this tissue-only crud.
And the cramps? I describe them as the sensation of someone drawing a huge knife across my uterus. This pain usually preceeds the exit of a huge clump of beaver boogers.
Thankfully the pain did improve mildly over time -mildly.
How about the weak legs? They’re cold, I’m hot, they feel incredibly weak and there’s nothing I can do about it.
My latest deal is the mood swings getting worse again, and now I have hunger issues. Not this month, but my last two periods were preceeded by a week of ravenous full-meal-every-three-hours hunger.
Two things make life livable while on the rag: Aleve and Always ultra thin.
Can’t stand tampons, they always stay hard and dry and never absorb right - just enough to make removal extremely uncomfortable. But someone finally invented a flat pad. I can’t even wear the normal thick ones, they’re painful, pushing on sensitive parts. Yup, big, wide, flat pads. And I don’t start chafing until day 6, so I only have 2-3 days of that lovely experience. Let’s just say if you ever go to Canada, stop in a pharmacy and pick up a product called Penaten-Creme. I wish I could find an equivalent in America, but I haven’t. My mom originally discovered it while up there on a summer vacation and a pharmacist recommended it for my diaper rash - used it for every skin condition since! Rash, zits, rag-chafing, it cures everything! (and one tin will last you years!)
All I can say is… man, I have it good. Even before I was on the pill, I didn’t get some of the more dramatic symptoms. Horrid I-can’t-walk cramps, yes; stuck-pig bleeding, yes; chicken egg sized clumps, no.
Now I’m on the pill, and periods are soooo much easier! Not nearly as much pain and I know exactly when to expect them. As for remembering to take it, I am the Princess of Pills. After six years with epilepsy and the corresponding pills, one learns to remember them. Incidentally, the epilepsy is one reason I started the pill… I always have seizures around my period, so this way I know when it’ll hit and can plan accordingly.
One symptom nobody mentioned: sore genitals, especially when standing up. Had that today (yes, I’m on my cycle too) and it felt like things were majorly swelling up down south. Once I sat down, the pain subsided. Has this happened to anyone else, or am I just weird?
I guess I should offer to pay Iteki and CRorex’s therapy bills. 
Girls,
Maybe these three bits of information are useful.
In the Netherlands, a silent revolution is happening; more and more women get off the pill and use Mirena, an IUD that gives off hormones.
From the site :
In this thread people have shared experiences about hormone-patches. Does anyone have experience with Implanon?
From the site:
Lastly, articles appeared in Dutch national newspapers and ladies-magazines when this book was published:
Is Menstruation Obsolete?
ELSIMAR M. COUTINHO and SHELDON J. SEGAL
The book adresses the supposed misconception that suppressing menstruation is somehow “unnatural or 'unhealthy”.
I always wondered, why friends, doubling up under their menstruation cramps, would refuse painkillers and hormones, because they are “unhealthy”. Excuse me? I thought health was about physical well being and not having pain? 
Apparently, the book was well received by a majority of gyn’s.
I’m resurrecting this thread, because I have a question: many of you have mentioned “blood clots”, “genital boogers” and the like, but the ones I seem to get don’t seem to be just blood - i.e. there’s definitely fibre type stuff and sometimes a lot of it mixed in, is this normal? And is it normal to feel much more pain before passing these?
That’s normal. You’re also shedding mucus, used uterine lining, old cells, all sorts of globby things besides blood.
After reading this thread, I think I’m going to be thankful that my cramps respond to 800 mg of Motrin, I only have 4 days and my clots aren’t mind-bogglingly huge.
I found the solution is to take Deprovera shots (birth control) it stops your period dead in its track. I haven’t had my period in over 2 years. It’s great!
I found the solution is to take Deprovera shots (birth control) it stops your period dead in its track. I haven’t had my period in over 2 years. It’s great!
What do you mean, they recycle their mentrual flow? I’m female and i have no idea what they could be doing with it. ICK.
On a different note, I didnt know that all women got clumps. I also get the diarreah, and the gushing when i stand up. I didnt know that that was pretty normal.
I still can’t figure out what they would do with their blood. gag. :eek:
Thanks - that’s reassuring. I never used to get them, so I’ve never seen them as “normal”.
ArtyDooDoo - I think the implication was that they used their blood to paint with/otherwise make art with.
Let’s hope it was painting/art and not cooking.:eek:
I have heard of mothers and daughters getting together and doing menstrual blood art together, as a rite of passage sort of thing. What you do is, you both get your periods, then you squat, so that you get a print of your cootchie on a piece of paper. This is coming from the same sort of people who celebrate their periods, I suppose, the ones from Mars. (I’d rather have DIED than do this with my mom as a teenager. I still would, come to think of it!)
I can understand art ABOUT periods, I suppose, but this is just weird. Sorry, ladies, but it is.
Periods? Art? Mom? Check please!
I feel rather lucky after reading this - my clots are more like gobs. If something the size of a chicken egg came outta my cooch, I don’t know that I’d ever recover.
I’ve been on the Nuva ring for about 6 months. I also leave it in for 3 weeks and immediately replace it with a new one. Voila! No period, no pills, no nuthin! If I could stand up to pee and earned just 25 cents more an hour, it would be like being a guy!
Does anybody else here hate using tampons? I have only used pads and people were like, “You should try tampons. It won’t feel like a diaper…” etc. So I tried a tampon, finally, when I was on a trip last month and everybody wanted to go swimming but I wanted to as well. Maybe I put it in wrong or maybe it was something else, but I hated using a tampon. When I got back to the house I started using pads again and haven’t looked back.
Ugh. Tampons.
Just wanted to add that having kids DOESN’T necessarily make the pain better. I’ve just started getting my periods again after having Baby #3, and OUCH!
And Ginger, somehow I get the feeling that you don’t want to go into this, but how the hell do your recycle your menstrual flow? What exactly do they use it for?
Umm…forget my last post. I didn’t notice there were two pages in this thread.
EEEEWWWW!
Clots make bathtime fun! Some are sinkers, some are floaters, some latch on to the washcloth just before you wash your face.
I’m currently having my weirdest period ever… cramps, bloating, headaches, clots, clumps, boogers etc… But no blood!
Everything’s a whitish pink.