Does anyone ever feel guilty in this situation - when you’re not reciprocating a retarded/“special” man’s feelings? I often feel like a snob. OP - do you feel guilty for not being interested in them?
Yeah, and then they go away thinking “if I’d have gotten to her first, she’d be mine!” Then they murder your boyfriend and kidnap you.
Ghehe! But seriously, I do agree that having a fake boyfriend is not the fair way out, and gives off the wrong impression: that they would have a chance if it weren’t for the imaginary boyfriend. That’s not what this is about: it’s about boundaries, and these chaps need help knowing them.
While I don’t disagree entirely, it would give the opportunity to teach them something; which is that you should find out about someone’s situation before asking them for a date perhaps?
There is a man who lives here in NYC who is mentally handicapped and takes the same bus and train lines that I do who seems to have a crush on me. Every time I’ve seen him over the last 5 years he hugs me (unsolicited) and then asks if he can be my boyfriend. Last time I was with my infant daughter and he still pushed the hugging/boyfriend thing. Luckily I only ever see him 2 or 3 times a year but it is still uncomfortable.
I keep telling him that I can’t be his girlfriend but he doesn’t seem to get it. Be prepared that these guys may not accept or understand that you don’t return their affections. Have a number you can call for someone who can be there right away in case they get forceful or aggressive. I’m very lucky that because I only see this guy on the bus/train there are always other people around, but then I get to see that look in their eyes that says, “Dear God, please don’t let today be the day I have to stop a mentally handicapped guy from sexually assaulting some woman.”
My wheelchair is a huge metallic invitation for mentally challenged women to hit on me. It drives me insane.
I used to have quite a following when I worked as a bank teller in a branch close to a big mental hospital. I have no advice for the OP but plenty of sympathy. I really hate to hurt people’s feelings, especially people who happen to be children, virtually or otherwise. But man, that’s some uncomfortable stuff.
“Sorry, I’m gay”
Welcome out, but we’re in the middle of a discussion here.
Don’t feel too bad. They probably have a crush on every nice lady they meet and talk with. For all you know they cold be serious players, and your rejection of them will be water off their backs. They will move on to the next nice lady and flirt with her instead. Just tell them you aren’t interested but like talking to them when they come in to the store. They may be mentally slow, but I am sure they aren’t stupid.
Side note: Are you sure they are even mentally slow? It may be a Steven Hawking thing and they are really geniuses.
Bwah! 
I don’t think it gives off the wrong impression. It’s just saying “I’m not in the market.” Whether or not they’d have/have had a chance with her does not come up, and it isn’t the OP’s job to train/educate these guys about love/life/or boundaries.
It’s hard, but the right thing is just to offer a very clear and unambiguous no. It might hurt their feelings a bit, but it’s better than leading them on. And you can still reject someone in a kind way. Just say no thanks, and tell them you like being their friends but don’t feel that way toward them, or something like that.
I smell a stealth brag.
Yeah I don’t.
Go out on hot date. Report back.
He said “me and you at the Needle!” (Space Needle)
That’s what my sister said, but I feel ridiculous to say that, like THAT is the reason I wouldn’t be interested in them.
How dare you! I’m a vegetarian.
Yeah, you’re right. Like I said, I’m horrible about this in general. I try, but…I fail.
No, not guilty. It would be very wrong and most likely criminal for someone like me to get with someone like either of them.
Ooh, I bet. That would suck.
I’m thinking about throwing myself at you, Turnip, you always make me laugh.
You’re likely right.
No, they definitely are.
Are you for real?
Already tried that with the Saudi Arabian man. Didn’t end well.
OMG, I remember that thread! Dude ended up being married and had children. You seem to not make good decisions when it comes to men folk. No offense, but maybe you are too flirty.
Just remember not to fall in to the trap of thinking they are kids- when I used to work retail, we had a similar guy who would come in every day and chat happily to all the staff. He used to buy all the Buffy stuff we ever got in. And hard-core porn mags.
It was always kind of interesting watching the ‘bweh?’ of new members of staff, going through the pile of stuff he was buying; bottle of milk, heap of kiddie sweets, Buffy magazine then… eep?
You don’t even know the half of it.
None taken, but that’s the weird thing. Men I’m actually involved with always say they can’t tell if I like them. I just don’t assertive right, but I’m actually quite mean.