Menu descriptions

[Johnny_L.A]

This thread is for amusing descriptions of menu items. This is from the place we’re going to tonight (emphasis mine):

Rare
partially raw, warm in the center

Medium Rare
fully cooked, pink all the way though, tender and juicy

Medium
partially overcooked, pink only in the center

Medium Well
overcooked, very slightly pink in the center, dried out with a 24% loss of original weight

Well Done
completely over cooked and with most of the flavor, texture and weight destroyed

[Johnny_L.A]

Here’s the online menu for Clover Grill in New Orleans.

Have character…don’t be one.
Everyone brings happiness into this business,
some when they come in, others when they leave.
Dancing in the aisles only, please keep off the tables.
No talking to yourself. Keep both hands on the table.

Twenty-five years ago their printed menu (which they had to remind people not to steal) said, ‘Yes! We have Fruit Loops!’ (Lots of gay staff and clientele.)

[Baker]

I used to go to a tavern in East Lansing, Michigan, in the late 80"s. (Have to note the date) Best chili cheese fries you ever had.

One notation on the menu said, "We don’t take checks, but we will serve small parties of Lithuanians.

[markn_1]

There are a lot of amusing menu items which (probably) weren’t meant to be amusing, but are just bad translations. Here are some pretty good ones:

80 Of The Funniest Menu Translation Fails Ever

I really want to try that Fuck the Duck Until Exploded. Sounds awesome. But I don’t think I want to see it being prepared.