I spent about a year in Brazil. I had to learn Portuguese on the fly to get around, but I did okay. It?s kinda like Spanish and French, with similar verbs and stuff, so I had some experience. They claim that they have no ?K? or ?X? (pronounced ?cah? and ?sheese?) in their alphabet, but that doesn?t seem to stop them from using them as often as they can. Anyway, one day this guy from New York and I were cruisin? around Sao Paulo. We stopped in a little cafe for lunch and perused the menu. We saw ?Hamburger, Hamburger Especial, Deluxe Hamburger and X Burger?.
Humm… I have a pretty good idea what a hamburger is, and can speculate what a ?Special and Deluxe? version of the same might be. Images of tasty topping danced through my head. Swank, thought I, having 3 hierarchy of burger to choose from. That ?Deluxe? must be pretty top o? the line! But wait! What?s this? An ?X? Burger. This must really be the End-All! This is so very extra special they can?t even describe it!
I call the waiter over, and quiz him on the levels of trim available on the various burgers. He gets a little tired of us gringos pretty quick and it was going downhill fast shortly after the ?Especial?. So I ask him finally, in my best Portuguese, ?So, what is the ?X? burger??
He looks at me with the disdain I previously thought could only be mustered by a Frenchman, and says, ?What, you never heard of a ?Sheese-Burger??
As a tip, I left him a note saying his worldview would improve if he would only accept the fact that the Airplane and Levi?s were not Brazilian inventions.