Merry Christmas And Happy 90th Birthday Erma......

Now clear the fuck out of your apartment by month’s end!

My mother-in-law long ago outlived her late husband’s savings. Actually, her late husband died a slow, lingering death from ALS and used up most of the savings himself in so doing. She’s been on Medicaid ever since.

3 years ago, her health forced her out of her home and into assisted living. At first, she was extremely negative, but gradually adjusted to an institutional life.

In November, my wife got a call from her Mom’s social worker saying that she was setting up a meeting among Erma’s family members, her care providers, and herself to review Erma’s recent decline in physical function. At that time ,we were given a list of Medicaid-approved nursing homes to shuffle her off to in the event that ergonomic changes–extra grab bars , lowering her bed, etc., didn’t result in fewer incidents of Erma’s needing a higher level of care than “normal”.

At our December 7, meeting, we were assured that the state would give Erma another 30 days evaluation, but the tone of the announcement was such that we
knew that we’d better get busy touring nursing homes after the Holidays.

Two days ago, my wife was informed that a re-review of Erma’s condition by the social worker’s bosses determined that Erma should be out of assisted living and into a nursing home by year’s end!

Erma will be 90 on Dec.30. She, her daughter and I were under the impression that the gut-wrenching move from a 2-room apartment to 1/2 a room in a nursing home would NOT occur during the Holidays and certainly not on the poor old lady’s 90th birthday!!

We’ve called nursing homes this week, the week before Christmas, and have found only 2 thus far where the admissions directors haven’t jetted off for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, the social worker is hiding behind voice mail.

Neither of the 2 we’ve seen so far was as dismal as we’d imagined such places would be, but the one we liked better says they have nothing available until early next month and the social worker hides out from answering our questions as to whether a little extension could be granted until something opens up there.

It has suddenly occurred to me that the State requires landlords to give total deadbeat scum 30 days before eviction.Erma is a paying customer to the extent that she can pay–the State takes all but $25 of her Social Security check each month, but she gets less than 15 days. Outrageous!

Don’t suggest involving our State senator. She’s only interested in shoving-through legislation to allow our empire-building petty-tyrant school superintendant to steal territory from neighboring school systems. In this respect, she’s as useless to anyone not associated with school administration as her predecessor was.

If you think you might outlive your savings, DO NOT RETIRE TO NEBRASKA!

What happens if you don’t move her out on the 30th? They don’t dump her out on the curb, do they?

Take her into your house. Stop forcing your spouses mom to be a ward of the state. Suck it up.

I was going to say the same thing. Test the limit. If they do threaten to dump her on the street, a quick call to the local tv station ought to shut them down in their tracks.

If it comes down to it, can you or one of the other children take her in? I doubt you’ll have to face the worst case scenario, but you never know.

I was referring to IvyLass’s statement.

Sometimes it’s very difficult to do this. And I don’t see where the OP says they wouldn’t if they have no other choice. We don’t know the whole situation and in this kind of position I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

likely the dumbest thing to be posted yet this morning. Of course JohnT knows the situation and knows a simple solution like this will work. I mean come on–a 90 year old woman–what possible care could she need? I mean the state wants to move her from assisted living to a nursing home–but I am sure that means nothing to those who have such simple answers to these sorts of issues like JohnT

:rolleyes: Wow, what a fucking moron you are.

I feel your pain, zenith, in a “there but for the grace of God go we” manner.

My grandmother may be about to be moved out of assisted living and into a nursing home. This is partly due to poor health (mental and physical) and partly due to abusive behavior towards the staff.

Thanks to prior planning, and not outliving her funds, the move will not require shopping for a nursing home. She will just be moved elsewhere in the compound, and my uncle will be given a deadline to retrieve her belongings. (This is unlikely to be a unilateral decision on the part of her caregivers, but. . . gowing old and feeble sucks, big time, even for those who don’t outlive their funds and don’t live in Nebraska. And watching them deteriorate is no fun either).

So I feel your pain, and hope things turn out in a manner which sucks as little as possible, given the circumnstances.

Every state has an Elder Abuse Hotline. Google your state for the number. They will become an advocate for your Mother in law.

  • 1-800-652-1999 (Toll free in Nebraska)
  • Outside of Nebraska: 402-595-1324

Also, Nebraska Adult Protective Services.

Could be worse. My mother called me on Monday morning. Her mother was given between 2 days and 2 weeks to live.

Wow, you’re a right cunt, aren’t you?

The ironic part will be when his infirm parents tell him they’d rather live in a nursing home than have to live around him.

Yea. The funny part will be when they say, “Wait a minute. We already have a file on your mother. Here let me transfer …” and then you get the voice mail of the same case worker you’ve been dealing with …

You sir, are a fucking cock.

Do you have the medical training required to take care of an old and frail person 24 hours a day? * Could* you be there for that person, in your home, for those 24 hours, without getting a break? Would you feed and bathe her/him? Would you keep a daily log of his/her vital signs, bowel movements, urine output, food & fluid intake changes in physical or mental health? Do you even know what those changes indicate? Do you have medical equipment at your disposal in case your loved one needs it? Would you have any clue how to use it? Do you have access to a doctor 24 hours a day in case your loved one urgently needs a different medication in the middle of the night?

There is a reason nursing homes exist, and it’s not because families want to “get rid of Granny” or shirk their duty as a loving child. Old and sick people need a fucking STAFF to take care of their needs. And guess what… every person on that staff gets to go home at the end of their shift.
I hope, for their sake, your parents never get old and infirm. God help them if they do.

That’s the end of my rant. This is striking a chord with me right now, in a huge way.

zenith, I can’t offer any advice, but I sincerely hope you can get your MIL into a nice home soon, or get her eviction extended. This truly sucks. You have my sympathy.

The objection is not her transfer to a nursing home; it is the State’s handling of such.

We were told on Dec.7 that the case would be “further reviewed” and that another meeting among all concerned parties would occur on Jan.11. we were also handed a list of Medicaid-approved nursing facilities and told to consider the very real possibility that we’d have to move her to one of these places, presumably by Feb.1. This was handled after Erma was wheeled out of the meeting room to go play cards with her cronies.

Then, on Dec.19, the tone was “Get her out before the end of the month. Got no place for her? Well, we handed you that list. How dare you plan Holidays just because we told you 10 days ago that no action would be taken prior to Jan. 11?”

Yesterday, the social worker spent about 30 sec. with Erma giving her a lame excuse for ruining her Christmas and birthday. Is this the new “compassionate conservative” approach to welfare reform—kill the spirit and let the spirit kill the body in order to clear the books faster?

I’m still unclear. Are they now saying the Jan 11 date no longer applies? And what happens if you show up on Dec 30 with a cake and presents but no moving van?

Lucky guy. He can go fuck himself.

I think that some of the posters here have misinterpreted the issue.

I am not saying that the way that Nebraska is handling this isn’t shitty; certainly we don’t want to force someone into a nursing home before that becomes necessary, but this is far from any cost saving measure for the state. A nursing home is typically at least twice as expensive as assisted living care, so the state has an interest in having your MIL in assisted living as long as possible as well, but some of the issues outlined in your posts have indicated that the professionals involved in this transition feel that staff abuse, etc. are indivcitive of the need to move to a higher level of care.

Call the Elder Abuse hotline? Jesus Christ people, did you read the thread? What next, protesters when someone gets moved from the ER to the ICU?

Good luck, and I’m glad that you’ve found some nursing homes that you think are decent. Follow up and be obstinate about moving if you don’t feel your MIL is getting adequate care at the facility you choose. Good luck.

And although John T. was being an ass for the way he said it, if you really feel that assisted living is still an appropraite level of care for your MIL, then living with you should be an option. If her care needs are far beyond what you could provide, then frankly a nursing home is likely more appropriate.

Good luck and please keep us updated.