Mesing up with scammers

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

A few days ago I received a scam email. I decided to create a fake email account… and I am having some fun messing up with the poor scammer.

Dear Mariana,
I received your email. What do you want with me? Can you send me your photos?
Love,
James

Hello My Dear Mr James,

It is a pleasure to read from you today, thanks so much for your reply, please am sorry to disturb you over a matter that is very important to me, how was your day? I hope all is well with you and family ? Mine is a bit cold here in Dakar Senegal. My name is Miss. Mariana Karume, i am single and never married, I have 25 years old, 5.4 meters tall, fair in complexion, I am from Ivory Coast in west Africa and presently i am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a result of the civil war that was fought in my country years ago.

Here is my family back ground for your understanding;
My late father Mr. Frederick Karume, was the Chairman and CEO (OIL AND COCOA MILL INDUSTRIES) in Abidjan the capital of my country before the war, and also the personal adviser to the former head of state before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed my mother and father in a cold blood. It was only me that is alive now and I managed to make my way to a nearby country Dakar Senegal where i am living now as a refugee, I am sending this message from our team Reverend Father for your understanding.

Dear I will tell you more about myself in my next mail, I would like to know more about you, and what you are currently doing, as for me, I like watching TV, cooking, sports, watching movie among all taken good care of my lover.

Attach here is my pictures, and I hope yours in your next mail.

Thank you and God bless you for your kindly understanding.
Have a great weekend.
Yours forever in love
Mariana

Hello, Mariana.
My family is not doing so fine. My son just got AIDS, and my other son died on a failed drug deal. He was shot 17 times and his body was violated. I am very sad. I had a terrible fight with my wife, and now she kicked me out of my mansion. Now I am living on my apartment in Manhattan. I am very lonely.
You are very tall. I have never seen a woman that is 5 meters tall. I can’t open the photos you sent me, though. Could you try to sent them again?
I am so sorry for your loss. It is really sad to be an orphan AND a Refugee.

About myself: I like to shoot. I have a huge collection of weapons, and I am planning to buy a rocket launcher. I also like to be taken care of.

By the way, I am sorry to tell you, I am not in love with you. This is going too fast.

Yours

James Jamersoon
CEO of Cunete International

(cunete is a slang word for annilingus)

Good Morning My Dear James,

First, i want to say sorry for everything that happen in your family, you have to take verything easy with time things are going to be good,

However, I am very happy in your reply, how was your night? and the atmosphere in there with you? I hope fine. to me the weather is very cold here in Dakar, Senegal, and not pleasant because of the condition I am in. Again, I really need your help,

More about me, As I said before my name is Mariana Karume, I am from Ivory Coast in West Africa,
I am 25 years old, yes i am tall, fair in complexion, (never married before) and now I am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar-Senegal as a result of the civil war that was fought in my country,

Please listen to this important information about me, (please it’s a secret between you and me). I am the only daughter of My late father Dr Frederick karume the managing director of Fred-cocoa and Associates (Ltd) and also personal adviser to the former head of state (Late Dr Robert Guei) before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed my mother and my father in cold blood.It was only me that is alive now and I managed to make my way to a near by country Senegal where i am leaving now.

I have my late father’s statement of account and death certificate here with me which i will send to you latter,because when my Father was alive he deposited some amount of money in one of the leading banks abroad which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $7.3 Million (Seven Million three Hundred Thousand US Dollars). And i have contacted the bank so that i can have the money at least to start a new life for myself but they requested that i should have a foreign partner as my representative due to my living status here,

As a refugee here I do not have any right or privilege to any thing be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country, and want to go back to my studies because I only attended my first year before the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place.So I would like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.

I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend HENRY JOSHUA in charge of (CHRIST CHURCH LIGHT) here in the camp because he is like a father to me.So overhead light I would like to keep it to yourself and do not tell anyone for I have fear of losing my life and the money if people gets to know it.Remember I am giving you all this information due to the trust i deposed on you I like honest and understanding people and a man of vision, truth and hardworking, our main language is French but English is my favorite because I also speak fluently.I will send you my bank details next post, but trust and confidence first, I’d like to send your response data such as your full name, your country and address, age and occupation so that I can send to the bank and let them know you .

Meanwhile I would like you to call me through the Reverend telephone number so we can talk more, the Reverend telephone number is (+ 221-784-676-607) if you call and tell him you want to talk to (Mariana) and he will send for me in the hostel to come and answer your call.
Have a nice day and think about me,
waiting to hear from you as soon as possible,
Yours in love Mariana

Mariana,

I am pleased to hear again from you. My night was terrible, my wife tried to call me several times, and we ended up breaking up. We are getting a divorce soon. I have also been falsely accused of hosting a party with naked people and animals at the company offices, and I have been fired. Now I really need money. The atmosphere was not so pleasant . My Indian neighbour was cooking curry, so the smell was unbearable.

I want to help you, Mariana. I thought your father was the CEO of the OIL AND COCOA MILL INDUSTRIES. Did he have two jobs? He was a very rich man!

I am sorry, but I have told your secret to my ex-wife. We were having a fight and I told her I was in love with another woman (I was lying). I told my wife that we would make a lot of money together and that she would get NOTHING. I am very sorry I told her our secret.

Is there anybody else I could talk to? My religion forbids me of talking with spiritual leaders of other religions. I am keeping you on my prayers to the Dark Lord, and He will help you.

Please, send me the bank details so I can provide you with your ordeal.

Tell me, Mariana. What is your favourite food?

Love,

James Jamersoon
Former CEO of Cunete International

If there is interest I will keep the thread updated.

#2

A few years ago in the middle of the recession 2008/9, my college called for the annual donation and the conversation started from the undergrad solicitor, “Mr. Disheavel, would you like to donate to the college fund this year? I see that you’ve given $50 the last 5 years, do you want to give that same amount?”
Me: Well actually, my investments have done very well this year [remember the markets are crashed and I am a graduate student], so how much does a building cost these days?
Undergrad: [clearly sensing she has hit the jackpot] I don’t know, Mr. Disheavel, let me ask my supervisor.
Me: Wait, I was just … [click as I am put on hold]

2 minute wait before a clearly confident older supervisor picks up the line
Supervisor: Mr. Disheavel, I am to understand that you were interested in donating a large sum this year?
Me: I’m really sorry, I just asked the first question that popped into my head and it was misunderstood. I can only afford to donate teh same as last year.
Supervisor: I see, well you created a bit of excitement around here.
Me: I’m really really sorry.
Undergrad: So just the $50 then?
Me: Yes

That all led me to use a similar strategy with any phone spammers. Most of the organizations pick up on it rather quickly, but the one that just doesn’t get it is the NRA. I can’t even imagine how they got my number to begin with, but I can say the most offensive things imaginable (like needing my guns to shoot pinko commies and keep all of the husseins of the world in Kenya) and they just keep the sales pitch going! I told them the first time that “we need our killing devices more than ever and we need to keep the world free from all of these non-christians so put me down for $1 million and send the envelope.” 6 wks later tehy called back when I hadn’t mailed in my check, and said that I needed monthly installments. Next time, “Times is been tough. I need to use my credit card but my limit was only $300 so could you just take out $300 every other day and I will pay it off on the opposite days.” Finally, “I donated it all to Ducks Unlimited, try me again next year.”

Following year, so shtick. And again this year- but I warned them that Mr. Trump might get it instead of the NRA. They keep hoping for that $1M and I get more mailings from the NRA than anyone else here, I bet.
But the lesson in all of this is, once people get the million dollar number in their eyes, they are blinded to everything else… like reality.

#3

I did this awhile back.

#4

Just the other day I received a scam voicemail - the ol’ “Your windows key is about to expire and you’re going to lose everything and maybe your computer might even blow up” one…

I was on my lunch break and had some time to kill so I decided to fuck with them. I called them back and played along for a little while then let them know I was onto them and wasn’t falling for it. They hung up.

So I called back. and back and back and back and back. I think I called them around 25 times in 20 minutes. Sometimes I would ask them for their personal information or credit card. Sometimes I would tell them their keys were about to expire. Basically I was just having some fun at their expense.

After around 25 calls I received the “This number is no longer in service” message from the phone company. I basically bugged them so much that they disconnect that particular number. Now I’m sure they have numerous other numbers they dial out from but I had to give myself a small pat on the back that day.

#5

Moving this thread to MPSIMS

#6

5.4 METERS? That is one tall woman!

#7

She could eat a pie off your head!

#8

RING

Me: Hello?

Debra: This is Debra from Credit Card Services.

Me: <Bedroom Voice>Hi Debra. What are you wearing?</BRV>

Click

#9

Might be more like:

Me: Hello?

Boris the Potato Trucker: This is Debra from Credit Card Services.

Me: <Bedroom Voice> Hi Debra. What are you wearing?</BRV>

Boris the Potato Trucker: I am wearing heavy shearling coat and ushanka hat with flaps and… oh, chyort! Damning of god it, now I am раскрываемый!"

Click