This evening Mr. Donald J. Trump, Billionaire, mansion and yacht owner, and oh yeah, Presidential candidate, will be holding a rally in the Woodlands, TX Marriot, rock-throwing distance from my office. Er, not that I plan to throw any rocks.
Anything you’d like me to tell him? 
Yes, tell him to keep up the good work, he’s doing fine. Or maybe he should double down on everything he has already said that has gotten a negative reaction (which is just about everything).
Also, he should actively campaign for Republican state legislators as much as possible. We need the Dems to take over a few more state houses so that they can undo district gerrymandering after the next census.
Thanks, and good luck.
Yeah, he is being much too moderate. And he should come out as a devil worshiper - it won’t affect his popularity.
And whenever he visits a state, especially in the north, tell the audience and the press that the local candidates totally back his views, even if they are scared to say so in public.
Oh, he’s already said that he admires Benito, so he should admit how much he loves Adolf.
Being rich doesn’t make someone better than anyone else. If anything, it increases their chances of being jerks.
OTOH, having small hands is indeed the sign of many mental illnesses.
That he’s far too much of a shrinking violet. I don’t feel like I know the real Trump, you know?
I suppose “Go fuck yourself, Mr. Trump” would just get you arrested?
Tell him he’s been too subtle so far. I’d like to know what he thinks of gazpacho, and if he thinks it should be banned.
Not if one says it under one’s breath…
Mrl Trump sez: Not unless it’s some kind of muslim thing, but even then, only until we know what’s going on. If it’s Mexican, which is what it sounds like, he’s gonna build a wall.
Congratulations. Don’t forget the little people when you become president.
Forget them? He knows them like the back of his hand.
He could come out as a pedophile and it STILL wouldn’t affect his popularity.
Oh, yeah. He already has. :smack:
“Since we’re giving you so much free press, Mr. Trump, why don’t you comp us all at your Casino…?”
Why bother – he won’t listen.
Tell him “Pinche puta” is Spanish for “Close friend” and if he really wants Mexicans to love him he will always address them using that phrase.
It actually means “Fuckin’ bitch”
Most pedophiles draw the line at their own kids. Not all, most.
In January, he said something like, “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” Ask him to test that proposition.
Klaatu barada nikto!
Tell him that suicide is painless, and brings on many changes. He should try it.
Don’t spend it all in one place!