It isn’t the Onion, it’s the BBC:
We all know it makes you less fearful of law enforcement but this is a new one on me. It blows my mind when I realize that someone had to sit down — probably with a bottle of tequila in his hand — and think of this. There’s no word of what they do with the worm, or whether dancing around on tables is a part of the process.
I don’t know why but the title of this thread makes me giggle like nothin. 
This is even cooler than turning water into wine.
And so it is yet another great moment in science where you have to ask what kind of thought process could have led to this result.
I sense an oncoming rivalry with De Beers. Tequila vs Beers, eh?
It’s pretty safe to assume that a lot of Tequila was involved in that process.
In other news, French scientists make room temperature superconductors from Roquefort cheese while a research team of India’s’ brightest make a mayor breakthrough on curry based rocket fuels.
I bet Zales is going to be pissed.
Ask any linguist: the BBC’s science department is about as credible as The Onion, and a lot less funny.
However, the scientists cautioned against relying on cheap tequila at such an early stage of research.
“At this point, we must have a steady selection of the finer tequilas. None of your José Cuervo mixto shit,” emphasized head researcher Miguel “El Borracho Grande” Apatica, whose groundbreaking work recently earned the National Autonomous University of Mexico’s “Most Fucking Brilliant Grant Application” Award.
In fact, the crystals can only be seen under certain circumstances by scientists who are highly involved in the tequila research.
Meanwhile, some critics have alleged that the National Autonomous University of Mexico might actually be “too autonomous.”
So does this mean that
Tequilas are a girls best friend - or is buying tequilas for a girl still a guys best bet.
or maybe
Tequilas are forever
Si
My god this must be what those people that really like chocolate and peanut butter felt like when Reese’s Cups were invented.
Cool… can Chicklets into platinum be far behind?
They weren’t invited to those sorts of parties.
Seems like a waste of good tequila to me.
How about converting some diamonds into tequila? Seems like a better use of it. Freakin expensive? You bet, but still better than just some shiny rock.
Derleth, awe-inspiring early Achewood reference!
I’ve been clicking through the beginning ones again thanks to this. I miss Todd a whole bunch. I’ve asked Chris a couple times to make a Todd t-shirt but so far no go.
Always happy to oblige a fellow fan.
A t-shirt would be fff-rikken awesome! I think the last panel of this strip captures a certain essence of the squirrel we both love but would not lend money to.
There must be one incredible story as to how this was discovered.
Tequila+Fire+more Fire=tiny diamonds.
A waste of bad tequila, even. 
Unless the value of the diamonds far surpasses the value of the tequila so you can trade up to really really awesome tequila.
First the power of flight and invisibility, and now this! Is there nothing tequila can’t do?
This is no new discovery… in fact, the research didn’t go far enough.
I already knew that after drinking tequila my erection can actually cut diamonds and I am bulletproof.
Derleth, how good! Exactly what I have asked Chris to put on a Todd t-shirt, more than once. I am going to mail him this thread, can’t see how he could say no after this.