[QUOTE=John Corrado]
(You know what’s really weird about this conversation? I have absolutely no problem discussing racism and ideas of racism with black people, but I’m terrified of what a breach of etiquette and privacy it might be if I ask you with the face which side of Route 1 he lives on. Internet discussions are so weird.)
[/QUOTE]
Especially since ywtf is female. 
I think we are working toward something here. I analogize racism to an opportunistic infection. We’ve all been exposed to it, some people are quite able to fight it off with their immune systems, while others are quite compromised to the point that they’re very, very sick. But we all get the sniffles. Some folks go through the prescribed regimen to get better, others do nothing and rely on dumb luck to avoid it.
I’ve heard Whites say, and I similarly surmise from some reactions on this board - not just here but in other threads - that being called a racist, or engaging in racist behavior is one of the gravest insults that a White person can receive. To which I say, I’ve been called out on, and independently recognized racist, sexist, homophobic, and other jingoistic behavior (I grew up in England and happily engaged in French- and German-bashing - of the verbal sort) on my part. I know that I am basically a good person and even if I’ve encountered the vilest five representatives of any group, there’s no way humanly possible that all of the folks in the group are the same way. I’ve encountered too many pleasant and positive people of all stripes to feel that way. So I don’t start hating myself. Instead I think about what the hell I was thinking that ended up in me saying or thinking something stupid like that. It’s pretty easy for me to do this because it’s been done to me many times, and I know the sting it carries.
If I find myself unable to shake this belief or feeling about a group, then I educate myself about their experiences as much as I can. Ultimately, it comes down to this: I believe all people want the same basic things. We love our family and friends, we love food, we want to be comfortable, we want our offspring to benefit and have better lives, we want other people to think highly of us… that kind of stuff. Occasionally I meet people who seem to not believe these things to an extent or other, but I mark that down to individual weirdness rather than some societal belief that any group holds. I’ve met and known people from every continent (except, of course, Antarctica), various political identities, sexual identities… it seems to hold up.
To return to good ol’ MR - it seems that at some point(s), he encountered this feeling of discomfort or distrust around Black people. It doesn’t seem that he applied much effort in challenging that, or educating himself to understand what made him think that way. Perhaps he’s one of those people who doesn’t believe that people are inherently good or like him. But to me, screaming “nigger,” making allusions to lynching, and stating that you are superior because of your race definitely puts him the category of behaving like a racist. I do not think that this is a permanent state, unless one chooses to stay there. So he can become less racist, like a lot of people who are antiracist devote time and energy toward doing. But yep, he’s in the racist category to me. Now, if I really cared, I would research his life and look for evidence to support or refute this, and similarly look to what he does next. The reality is, he’s just not that relevant to me, so I probably won’t unless he comes out with a series on how racism affects people or something.
I have to admit that I don’t get the “he went for the most hurtful thing to insult somebody” explanation. That would only make sense if he was in a one-on-one situation. Presumably the word “nigger” and lynching talk would hurt others besides the group he targeted. What about people of other races who are hurt? Or Black people who were politely sitting in the crowd watching the show? If this explanation works then he, and anyone who goes here, has serious anger management issues as well. Hell, I was once in a fight with a Latino gangbanger. We talked a lot of shit to each other before (briefly) coming to blows. I don’t live in a bubble; going to school in the barrio, I was aware of racial epithets towards Latinos. But I honestly never considered hurling them at this asshole. I didn’t have a problem with him because he was Latino, I had a problem with him because he was a dick.
I guess to me the racial slur (and to be more appropriate to the situation with MR, actively denigrating a person because of their race) is the verbal equivalent of a kick in the nuts. You just don’t do it. It’s fighting dirty and it makes you less of a man (I suppose less of a woman if you’re female). Even that analogy falls apart, because if a bad guy has a gun pointed at your head, you might need to kick him in the nuts to disable him so you can survive. I don’t think hurling a racial epithet is going to disable most people, nor do I think that being heckled (if that is indeed what happened) provokes such a dramatic response.
?!
