But…but… I’m looking forward to the (hopefully someday) next Barry Levinson and/or David Simon show. [Omar Little]Oh, indeed[Omar Little]
Well, if we do end up authorizing an attack, I recommend using a city somewhere along the east coast of Florida. They get destroyed on a near-annual basis anyway, and seem to come out of it all right. Failing that, Atlantic City; last time I was there, I got the impression that the majority of the casino-goers would welcome the sweet release of death.
As for Beck and Scheuer, nuttery and paranoia sells just fine as long as you’re aiming at the right market (how long was Art Bell on the air, again?), and Beck, at least, has proven to be a pretty sharp shooter with his brand of bullshit. This is just more of the same, and I doubt if the soapbox generously lent by Beck and his ilk will enable Scheuer to convince anyone who didn’t agree with him to begin with.
Hope I’m right…for Miami’s sake.
Prevailing winds here are northeasterly. I’d prefer you go after Tallahassee instead.
I notice nobody here seems to be defending the continued existence of Detroit . . .
Well, you do have a point there…as fans of the franchises that Paul Brown started, we can unite and agree that Art Modell’s house in Baltimore gets to be ground zero, too.
Babies are born virgins, aren’t they? Seems like a no brainer. Abstinence-only education is bound to create boom in virginity, which ought to last at least twelve years.
Please leave Florida out of this. The world needs this vital source of comedic relief.
I respectfully nominate Oklahoma City to be nobly sacrificed in a nuclear fireball for our greater national good. The fallout would probably render much of Arkansas unfit for human habitation, but really the people are the least attractive thing about ‘The Natural State’. Give me a week to move my plants and stuff.
If the CIA can spare a second nuke, they should definitely go for Amarillo, maybe it will significntly reduce that smell.
What ? Can we at least have Clearwater ?
No problem as far as David Simon is concerned; his next show, Treme, will be filmed on location in N’awlins.
My nomination for first city up against the wall has to be Johnstown, PA. I have nothing that much against the city, mind you, and in general it’s just another small declining rust belt city. But if it gets nuked, maybe we can finally see an end to the Johnstown Flood Tax.
Jeepers, let me sell my poor dead Mom’s house first, at least. OTOH, better hurry if you want to have anything to nuke. Given that all the industry that used to be there has fled and most of the remaining population is dying of old age, another twenty years and there won’t be anything left of the place anyway.
I’ll throw my vote to Oklahoma City, for purely practical reasons. In nearly fifty-five years, I’ve managed to get to every other state in the lower 48 without once having to go through Oklahoma itself, much less OK City, so apparently it isn’t particularly necessary.
How about some city in Texas? You can’t have Cleveland, as my brother is using it just now. But if we gave all Texas Dopers time to get out, I have trouble believing most of us would miss much of it.
If Osama doesn’t come through, perhaps Rick Perry can be encouraged with that secession business. (Come to think of it, we should be funding Todd Palin with the same outcome in mind…)
I suspect this political cartoon gets at the heart of what Scheuer really wants.
No, it doesn’t. Scheuer’s critical of groups on both sides of the political spectrum. It’s true that his views often align him with Republicans - for example, he supports the application of “enhanced interrogation techniques” - but he doesn’t shy away from calling conservatives naive and incompetent. He’s an equal opportunity offender.
Also, as an aside, This Modern World is garbage and you’re a moron if you find it funny or enjoyable.
Well, certainly good to hear an unbiased viewpoint! I’ll offer another: Glenn Beck is either an utterly unprincipled scoundrel who feeds on the political antagonism he promotes, or he is simply crazy as a shithouse mouse. Either way, anyone who pays him attention has a mental affliction, or is inviting one.
Wait, are you quoting one of the zany conservatives depicted in This Modern World? Because you sound just like one. Don’t tell me, let me guess: You’re Bill O’Reiley? You’re the unnamed lady with the helmet hair?
And he took that whole penguin thing right from Berkeley Breathed! And now we know that penguins are gay! Never mentioned that, did he? And that first name, Berekely! Is his sister named Ann Arbor?
Connect the dots, people! Connect the dots!
Which by itself is enough to relegate him to the category of “monster”.
Can we ship Glenn Beck to Columbia, SC the day before we offer it up for sacrifice to our satanic lords? Bonus points for having an army base right there for a rapid response to the disaster.
Better idea - just pick whichever city Beck is in as the municipal sacrificial lamb.