"Microagression Theory" seems like a silly concept but the wiki is actually kind of interesting

In My Humble Opinion
41

In my experience, racial microagressions play out much like this recent Kool-Aid quip.

Was the host trying to be malicious? I see no evidence of that. It’s clear that he was just trying to be funny. Maybe he jokes like this with his black buddies all the time and didn’t realize how random and offensive it would come across. His intent may have been benign, but that didn’t keep it from being jarring as fuck.

But that alone isn’t what makes comments like this exasperating. It’s the circumstances that often go along with them. For example, by virtue of being on live TV, the chef in that clip was put in the awkward position of having to respond to that Kool-Aid question nicely and politely. Doing otherwise would have drawn more attention to the gaffe and ruined the entire production. And let’s be real: if she’d called him out, it is likely she’d be criticized for being a “hypersensitive, crazy bitch” who goes looking for reasons to be offended. So not only does she have to stand there and be demeaned by a unfunny joke on live television, she is not empowered to respond to it with the candidness it deserves. Because it’s just a “microaggression” and as such, can be swept away as no big deal or imagined. To complain about them while their happening is to make people uncomfortable, and you can’t do that!

I don’t know why this concept requires so much analysis, when there’s nothing new about the phenomenon at all. For Christ’s sake, Norman Lear sitcoms from the 70’s profited from the existence of microaggressions and the idiots who perpetrate them cluelessly, to humorous effect. Why are we acting like we don’t remember Archie Bunker-style back-handed compliments all of a sudden?

42

Is this reply an ironic parody of the topic at hand or are you *really *taking just a few sentences to go into a passive-aggressive oppressed victim crouch?

43

Because any white man accused of a microaggression is guilty by definition. What’s worse, any attempt a defense is, according to the theory, simply committing another microaggression.

I don’t like that the only acceptable view point for a white man is to express agreement for this theory. I simply don’t discuss race issues IRL outside of very close relations because to some people any word against microaggression is evidence of prejudice.

I also don’t like it because I don’t want to maintain extensive lists of what I, as a straight white man, can not say to women, gays, hispanics, blacks, muslims, etc.

Or maybe his Mom always made Kool-Aid with peach cobbler when he was growing up.

This is ultimately the problem with microaggression theory. It’s not falsifiable. it ascribes motives to the actor without any proof, ironically enough entirely based on race. And there is no way to argue against it. If this man claimed he was unbiased, that simply counts as proof of another microaggression. The only acceptable response is to admit his guilt and never mention Kool-Aid to another black person.

44

But why defend? A single microaggression, alone, is an incredibly small mistake. To me, an accusation of a microaggression is no worse than an accusation that you accidentally stepped on my foot.

Why not just say “I apologize, I didn’t know that and I’ll try not to do it in the future”? And feel free to ask for clarification, I think.

The point is, it’s kind of a default (in society at present) that non-black people will occasionally engage in microaggressions to black people, consciously or not. I think we non-black people should strive to not do this, and embrace the opportunity to learn how to avoid it. And when we screw up, or accidentally step on someone’s foot, try to learn from our mistake.

45

Because I don’t have anything to apologize for. To use your example, if someone accused me of stepping on their foot, when I know I didn’t, then of course my response is going to be “I didn’t step on your foot”.

Do you often apologize for things you didn’t do?

I had someone ask me out of the blue if I played basketball. Let’s suppose that same person did the same thing to a black person who called it a microagression. What should that person learn from that experience? The only lesson I can see is “Don’t ask black people if they play basketball”.

46

No one here has accused any particular white man of anything. I know I have never told a white man, “Hey, bro, you just microaggressed against me, you bad bully you!” Because usually it just isn’t worth it to bring it up in the midst of the social interaction. And often, my feelings don’t hurt until long after the social interaction, when I’ve had to reflect on what happened.

Whenever this topic comes up, usually the people who have been harmed by microaggressions share particular incidents that are fresh in their mind, without finger-pointing at specific individuals. Why? Because often the perpetrators aren’t remembered at all. By definition, microaggressions are only a problem in aggregate. It’s not a problem of individuals, but the masses.

There’s no reason why white guys should feel any more defensive about this topic than anyone else. I’d be the first to admit that I’ve said stupid things to people who are different from me, not knowing I’m getting on their nerves. I have no problem with someone pointing out when I’m being stupid so that I can avoid doing that in the future. Why can I admit being insensitive sometimes, but you and others have such fragile egos that you can’t? Is maintaining your own moral purity that important to you?

There’s also nothing wrong with shrugging and saying, “I don’t get it. But it may be that I lack the right perspective.” I don’t agree with every single social theory either. But I don’t automatically call such theories “silly” or “stupid”.

I have to ask why you disagree with the concept. Is it the word that bothers you, or something else? Because the concept that people can say things that are hurtful without intending hurt seems more like a statement of fact than a “theory”. The only place of speculation is that these “hurts” inflict social damage. But even that seems pretty uncontroversial. If everyone’s pissing people off, why wouldn’t this cause distrust and lack of cohesion between different groups?

You want to say whatever you want to say, regardless of how others feel. You don’t even want to listen to how others feel, because just listening requires too much effort on your part. And yet you don’t want anyone pointing fingers at you, accusing you of anything.

What you are is a person who wants to have his cake and eat it too. That’s quite an indefensible position to take.

47

This is my question, too. Does it really seem to you (and to anyone else) that this concept is all sound and fury? That people are basically overreacting or imagining things when they say “Every damn day someone says something that is likely rooted in their impression of my race/gender/class, and that the sum total of all those little reminders of people’s expectations and beliefs has taken a toll on my own idea of who I am.”

I have a student who wrote her college essay about how, starting when she was 3, people started to warn her mama that she was pretty, so she’d probably get knocked up. I don’t think anyone ever explicitly said this to her, but by the time she was 11, that expectation was crystal clear to her. I hear stories like this all the time. Do you really feel like all that is mostly the product of people’s fevered imaginations, and that the vast majority of people do not convey race/gender/class based assumptions in a thousand different ways? Or do you really think the vast majority of people don’t have race/gender/class based assumptions of others?

48

Post 41 did and it certainly happens else where. Microagressions as a thing is mostly constrained to the internet and college campuses at this point, but it’s becoming more mainstream.

Why is disagreement being defensive?

Exactly. I can’t say that I think it’s wrong as a theory or a phenomenon blown out of proportion. I can only “not get it” or “lack the right perspective”.

49

I don’t know what this is supposed to mean. Because you with the face accused a white man of saying something insensitive, that means all white men are being ganged up on?

And minorities are the ones being hypersensitive?

If we can’t talk about this topic without white men feeling defensive even when no one is accusing white men as a group of doing anything, then something is very wrong.

Your posts have been very defensive. You speak of “guilt by association”. You wrote that you shouldn’t have to censor yourself around " women, gays, hispanics, blacks, muslims, etc." You said you don’t have anything to apologize for, as if someone is demanding you apologize.

If someone can’t relate to a concept but they’re open to learning more, they don’t say the things that you’ve said in this thread.

That’s nice to know. That’s not what you communicated in your earlier posts, though.

50

I think you mis read the last bit. I think he’s saying he can’t say those things despite thinking them because he will be accused of racism.

51

Sarcasm isn’t my strongest suit.

52

I too find it hard to understand why people have so much trouble understanding and accepting the concept.

I’m fortunate in that I don’t experience too much of it myself, but I do notice when microagressions are directed at other people, at least some of the time.

For example, I’m a member of Toastmasters, which is an organization that is devoted to improving communication skills. During meetings, people take on various roles such as making speeches and hosting the meeting, and evaluators critique their performance so people can learn and improve. Introducing people smoothly is a specific skill that we’re supposed to work on.

We have several members who were born outside the U.S. and have names that are unfamiliar to most Americans. We see these folks week in and week out, and have plenty of opportunities to learn their names. The host of the meeting knows weeks in advance whom they will have to announce and have plenty of time to make sure they know how to pronounce the names.

And yet, so often, they grossly mispronounce the name…sometimes pausing dumbly and then flubbing it badly.

Even worse is when they go “herp herp herp - that’s so hard to pronounce!”

I cringe SO hard when this happens. It sounds like they’re saying “you’re different, you’re not one of us.” Newbies make mistakes, fine, but even some of the most experienced members do it. And most of the names aren’t one bit hard to pronounce. They’re just “foreign.”

For example, one member, Xin, is Chinese. She doesn’t expect any of us to use the exact Chinese pronunciation. She’ll tell anybody who has trouble “Just call me Sheen. Like Charlie Sheen!” Still, people who should know better still make that uncomfortable pause and say “Zinn…I can never remember how to pronounce that huh huh huh.” I want to say “Look, jackass, you’ve known her for years, she’s provided you with a perfectly easy anglicization to use, and she’s given you an funny way to remember it because she’s about as different as you can get from Charlie Sheen. What more do you want?”

In another example, after an Indian-American woman gave her first speech, another member made sure to compliment her on her “English skills.” She was like, “What the fuck? I moved here when I was 3!” (I really have no idea how you could live in Central Jersey and not notice that even the F.O.B. Indians usually speak English just fine anyway.)

Xin and the others laugh it off, but to quote Ambi, “…multiply this by about 500,000 and how do you think the person on the receiving end feels about elements of society?”

Fortunately, Toastmasters IS an environment where these things are actually supposed to be pointed out, and if it happens when I’m the general evaluator, I will point it out. Bringing up the microaggression concept wouldn’t really work in that context, but I’d definitely stress “make sure you know how to pronounce people’s names in advance - and if you do flub it, just move on without commenting on the name itself.”

I suppose the acceptable level is when it’s infrequent enough to only be a minor annoyance.

One minor holiday-season annoyance for me is when people insist on making sure to ostentatiously add on something about Hanukkah for me. “Merry Christmas to all of you…and Happy Hanukkah to YOU.” “Here are some little presents - I made sure to wrap YOURS in blue-and-white paper!” I know they mean well, but it does feel like they’re making a point that “YOU’RE DIFFERENT!!!”

It doesn’t happen often enough to really be a bother, and I don’t detect any latent anti-Semitism in these comments, so it’s really no big deal. Such comments might start to become a real drag if I lived somewhere where I was surrounded by people who really thought I was deficient because I hadn’t found Jesus or something.

53

I have to say, I don’t see an enormous distinction between many of the microaggressive behaviors described and obvious, macro-level rudeness which thoughtful people would avoid automatically. But even allowing for that, encounters between people are largely transactional: if I offend someone, however inadvertently, if I’m paying them the attention I owe another human being while interacting with them, I should know it even without being told unless the other person is exceptionally stoic: lgically, microaggressive words and actions and postures should provoke micro-defensive responses. At that point, even if I’m too prideful or fearful or arrogant to explore my missteps right then, I can at least acknowledge that I’ve made the other person uncomfortable and try to right myself, whether I’ve been rude on the basis of race or class or religion or sex or size or education or anything else. If it’s an innocent misunderstanding, if I initiated it, it is still up to me to fix it.
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Of course microaggressive behavior can be displayed by the less-privileged party in a transaction as well, prompted by defensiveness against expected slights or resentment for past ill-treatment, but that doesn’t give me an out for my words and actions.

54

Any of you white people who still claim you don’t understand microagression - just try living in Japan for a few years.

A few years of EVERYONE constantly assuming you are lingusitically and socially inept is enough to get the picture. They’re not deliberately being assholes, it’s just their culture. Sure, once they get to know you they will be fine, but you meet strangers everyday, and everyday it’s the same stupidity. For example, people handing out flyers on the street to eveyone, except you. When you walk by the arm retracts. Everytime. For years and years. I’m not proud of it, but I have snapped and grabbed a flyer from behind, scrunched it up and then thrown it back at them.

I’m normally pretty chill though.

55

Imagine you are a young man and you are going out to eat with your girlfriend. After finishing your meal, the waiter (or waitress) brings the bill to your table. When he/she brings the bill, they put the bill-holder right next to your girlfriend.

Now, if this happened just once it would be easy to understand it as nothing but coincidence. However, when time after time the bill gets put next to your girlfriend, instead of you (which is not how it is customary done, whether one agrees with this or not), you begin the realize that it’s more than just coincidence.

56

Perhaps they’ve been read the riot act by poor overlooked minority females who feel that placing the bill by the man is a microaggression against them, so as suggested they’re deliberately not doing that anymore as an enlightened courtesy to them?

If you’re walking through a field of freshly fallen snow and every snowflake is special and unique and fragile you’ve got to understand that by deliberately not stepping on some you’re deliberately stepping on others.

57

Possible, but it’s pretty easy to observe the waiter and see what he does to other couples in the restaurant, and notice that he treats other couples differently. People have more common sense than you are giving them credit for.

58

Oh gimme a break. The waiter can always put the check in the middle.

(That was at Emtar, not Isamu)

59

So microaggression can be invalidated by uniform adherence to a status quo?

60

That’s EXACTLY
…what I have never said in my life.