Do you think I’ve been whining throughout this thread?
Yes. As you say yourself: “Rarely does a microaggressor have bad intentions.” Trust me, if you lived in a climate of real prejudice, you would be happy when someone didn’t have bad intentions against you.
Why do you assume I’ve never experienced “real” prejudice before?
I didn’t say “experienced” it. I said “lived in a climate of”. Because as I said, if you really did, you would not regard “microaggressions” with anything other than amusement.
Just thought I’d show the peanut gallery how easy it is to make what could be a micro-aggressive comment based on a person’s prejudices. You don’t know if I believe that Jews make the best doctors or that they are demons who secretly rule the world, but a person more aware of his surroundings and more interested in the motivations of others (by your own admission, that ain’t you) might wonder what ulterior motives I might have in asking. The constant wondering about motivations, and ascribing bad motivations because it’s the “safe” thing to do, can eat you up.
So, did you show her your horns? Or go with a “Just one horn, and it’s in the wrong place,” line?
By the way, DSeid and Monstro, you’re really in “how many angels” territory. You basically agree. Take the battle to the enemy, not your friends.
Do you think black Americans are free from a climate of prejudice?
What kind of offense would be serious enough to mention on a chewin’-the-fat message board?
Do racially tinged jokes rise to the occasion?
Does having your citizenship repeatedly questioned count?
If someone said something that revealed to you their low expectations about your intelligence and work ethic, would it be memorable to you? How would it make you feel if that wasn’t the first time that had ever happened to you?
DSeid isn’t an enemy and I have respect for him for trying. And he does try, I have to give him that. But we do frequently have ruptures during discussions such as this.
I have no doubt that there will be another thread that we will both agree on, and then we will go back to whatever counts as “normal” around here.
You did say something about no bad intentions didn’t you?
How about being turned away from a job as soon as you told them your name? Being deliberately failed on university exams? Being told that your grandparents sat the war out in the back gathering money (when a lot of your relatives were killed in the Holocaust and both your grandfathers served in the war in front lines, one for five years, and one for seven, starting in the Finnish war and going all the way to Berlin) right before being beaten up?
When my nerves get frayed by something someone says or does, my telepathic sense always seems to go on the fritz. It’s amazing how that happens.
Like, when that professor came up to me that time and told me–in front of everyone in the room–that my good vocabulary was evidence that my parents value education, I didn’t have it in me to figure out her intent. All I could hear were her words and their implication–that being a black person with a “good” vocabulary is so anomalous, so rare, that it deserves mentioning.
HOWEVER. Knowing that she was more clueless than malicious kept me from disliking this professor going forward. I studied under her, accompanied her to the theater and social events, went to conferences with her, and even spent the night a couple of times in her home. Her daughter and I co-taught a class together. I’ve kept in contact with her more than I have my graduate advisor, who actually never hurt my feelings, unintentionally or otherwise.
But this professor’s initial comment to me will ALWAYS stay with me. It will always remind me how alienating and awkward it was to be the only black person in an academic institution. I can’t forget that no matter how hard I try.
I haven’t never talked about this outside of this rinky-dink thread. You will never find me on Oprah talking about this incident. I don’t even have any emotions about it right now as I’m reliving it. I just remember how it made me feel when it happened and thought it worked as a good example of a “microaggression”.
I would apologize for not having anything more serious than that to share with the class, but I actually do have a spine. The thread is supposed to be about small, insignificant indignities and slights. And I’m certain that if I did share something more severe than a backhanded compliment, you and others would call me out as a liar.
I know, but this one has gone on for PAGES. I don’t have the attention span to track who says what; I just go for the gist of it and ask, “Why are these two friends of mine arguing when they basically agree?”
The hell I know. I just know he flipped out over something my sister said. All the folks in this thread saying fucked up stuff, but he only seemed to muster up froth over what she said.
But I’m biased. I think we all know this by now. 
Let’s try this because I am genuinely baffled by it. I like you just fine as a poster monstro and I will meet up with you any time you want to when our paths cross but you claim something I said was offensive to you. I do not recall or see making any comments that could be taken as offensive and they certainly weren’t intended as such.
I can be very direct on certain topics but I don’t know of anything that I wrote in this thread that would be considered ‘offensive’ to a reasonable observer. Can you tell me what they are and explain why? This isn’t a trick question. I am honestly interested.
Maybe that will help clarify the differences in opinions.
Wooptee doo! Did that professor give you bad grades because you were black? THAT would have been significant. If not, that was nothing.
Again, wooptee doo. As I said, for anyone who lived in a climate of prejudice and suffered from it, this sounds like whining.
Small, insignificant stuff is not worth remembering, recalling, or telling anyone about. You know why? Because it is small. And insignificant.
Why are you in this thread if you don’t think small, insignificant stuff is worth talking about?
Thread shitting is not allowed in this forum.
Now I’m curious why DSeid even started this thread. If I had known this was going to turn into the “More Oppressed Than Thou” show, I wouldn’t have bothered participating.
I saw your “But maybe someone has asked a Jewish person what church they belong to and never stopped to think how that seemingly harmless question might grate someone’s nerves day after day.” and felt compelled to reply.
Speaking of “micro-aggression” - that “Jewish person” is definitely one. What - you’re afraid to say “someone has asked a Jew”? Is “Jew” insulting?
IMO, here’s what happened:
[ol]
[li]monstro posted about people asking her where she was REALLY from, and how it made her feel like they were questioning her US citizenship (or possibly as a way to find out her race because of her ambiguous appearance).[/li][li]John Mace replied with an anecdote about how he was treated as an outsider/oddity in Japan when he visited there, and how he just laughed it off.[/li][li]YWTF replied to him telling him that it didn’t affect him the same way because he was a white man.[/li][li]DSeid pointed out that YWTF was basically telling JM why he felt a certain way, when posters who suffered microaggressions had been complaining about that very thing.[/li][li]Indignation ensued. Everyone involved was offended.[/li][/ol]
Now here’s the thing: John Mace’s experience was not at all comparable to monstro’s, because he actually was a foreigner, and obviously so, whereas there was no good reason why monstro should be assumed to not be a native of the US (I’m assuming she doesn’t speak broken or heavily accented English).
I’m not sure why** YWTF** did not think that was the most likely reason** JM** reacted differently, and I’m not sure why no one else pointed it out before it got out of control.
Of course, I could be wrong, in which case - no offense intended.
So why isn’t John Mace the villain? He has always been a bit of an Ugly American. 
ETA: John, it was a joke, a micro-aggression, if you will, based on your Republican Classic demeanor.
Well, I tried.
That’s a pretty accurate summation. Though, we need to add that Lamia noticed what you did and ywtf revised/clarified in response.
And I wouldn’t have noticed DSeid if he hadn’t made a big deal out of the “offensiveness” of her post. Yes, it would have been offensive if ywtf had downplayed or belittled John Mace’s feelings. As multiple posters have done to me and others in this thread. All she did was offer a hypothesis for why he found it funny while others don’t. I still don’t get why that was so bad.
To me, it would have been no different if a white guy had said “The reason you find this hurtful is because you’re a member of a stigmatized racial minority group.” I don’t see how this would be in any way inflammatory or offensive. Though I guess I can see how it would seem presumptive to someone who is not familiar with power relations theory.
“Power relations theory?” That’s another one of those articles in Wikipedia I have to skim and pretend I get the gist of it, isn’t it? I’m not joking about my attention deficiencies, people. grrrr