A girl in my school once was asked, “What are you?” because another girl was confused about her origins. But that’s probably a lot more than a microaggression.
I don’t know whether I answered the point you were making, but let me make one of my own, that may be related.
IMO bigotry of any kind is never ok, regardless of who it’s directed to or where the bigot is.
A bigot who is from a country where white people are in the majority doesn’t get to go to China, India or Africa, where he or she is in the minority and spread bigotry all they like, due to the fact they are now in the minority, and don’t hold the power in that area.
Bigotry towards the majority in any given situation is still bigotry and still wrong.
“But I have it worse!!”
Perhaps you do, I’m still not an acceptable target of bigotry just because someone else who shares some superficial characteristics with me was an asshole to you.
It seems to come from an attitude that “this stuff only matters when it happens to me, or around me!”
Many humans are assholes, regardless of their lot in life, and regardless of what part of the world their ancestors are from.
I’d take the topic a little more seriously if they were called something like micro aggravations rather than micro aggressions.
Aggressions implies some things I don’t think are often true or relevant in many of the cases. Plus it sounds more stupid.
I’m sure the stuff you face goes far beyond microaggressions, which is what this thread is about.
I suppose my latest posts are a bit off topic too, but their you go. I could list some more severe stuff I put up with, racism and sexism simply because of my skin colour and sex, but why bother. I’m ‘privileged’ so I should just suck it up. right?
I’m in some “categories”.
Do I expect to have the opportunity & option to speak up (if I’m in the mood) and draw attention to the stuff other people seem oblivious to? Yeah, and I’ll step on some sensitivities if folks squirm and try to shush me.
But am I horribly affronted every time I run into that exclusion / oblivious attitude? No. My categories put me in a minority. I know how it works. Mainstream folks started out complete unaware of such people, then their first awareness was most often not generated by running into one of us and learning firsthand but instead by hearing about us by other mainstream people describing us. In their words, not our words. Describing us as we look to them, how we seem to them. Only later on down the pike do they actually run into some of us and by then they’ve formed a batch of preconceptions, notions about us that we generally don’t appreciate. Yeah, well, it’s to be expected, all of what I’ve just described. The best we can hope for is better public inclusion of our own descriptions of ourselves and what it is like to be us.
Going around getting affronted and upset as if we were delicate fragile beings who have to be protected at every turn? Bleagh. If I had been, I would not still be here, still alive.
How many people are not in a “category” though? What percentage of the population are white, male, Christian, straight, non-elderly, non-disabled? And as the percentage of such people declines even more, at what point do we just agree that we’re all unique and that people will say dumb stuff about the things that make us different from time to time and not get to worked up over it?
There is an obvious disconnect in this thread between posters who think microaggressions are “things that people say to you which you don’t like” and posters who experience real microaggressions daily.
You seem to have a chip on your shoulder about this. Nobody has said that you should put up with racism or sexism. I’ve said you probably experience less of it, but not that you don’t experience it at all, or that you should have to “suck up” what you do experience.
It’s not a contest to see who suffers the most, but if it were, could we just declare you the winner and move on?
Yawn.
After I made my first post, you accused me of arguing that “Because someone else in the world has it worse, a person is not allowed to complain”. Needless to say, I never made any such argument. You were making a straw man and everyone in this thread knows it. Now it seems that you’ve given up on even pretending that your post was an honest response to mine, and are just going to spew more nonsense on a different subject.
If that’s the best you can do, than I feel increased confidence in my conclusions. Good day.
I see your point, but see, it isn’t about me. Say I’m a ‘straight white male’ Jew (i"m not). Are you seriously going to tell me you suffer more prejudice then? how about an Italian that has to put up with every second person asking them if they know any mobsters?
It’s the idea that “the grass is always greener” that I’m arguing against, not who has it better or worse. Again, “Straight white males” are not a cohesive group that you can apply one label or set of ideas (or ‘privileges’) to.
Yes I know you didn’t actually say this but it’s implied when people say ‘Straight white males can’t have suffered as much as me!’.
And see, I have in fact, experienced at least some of the crap gay men put up with. People seem to assume I’m gay quite often, especially when I’m defending gays against ignorant bigots who think they are trying to convert their kids to ‘gayness’.
No, I’m not expecting a medal or a thank you. 
Doubling back some in this conversation …
Is the group of related questions of “Where’re you from?”, “Where’re your family from?”, “Where’re your people from?” (the exact from varying upon the subculture of the person asking oftentimes) necessarily offensive, let alone a microaggression? Or is assuming that such is a statement meaning “You aint one of us; you don’t belong.” offensive as well.
I do think that some are curious about … other cultures, whether or not they can identify the accent, and for some not showing curiosity about someone’s family background and heritage would seem rude … “where your people from?” is just part of "how you do?"s.
Yes, the net impact of being asked constantly can be quite irritating. I can see that. And some probably do mean the “you aint one of us” implication. It is why it gets so confusing to me.
My personal experiences with overt homophobia have, thankfully, been pretty limited. In this thread, I’m specifically talking about assumptions and reactions that, while not intended to be insulting, can have that effect - i.e. the topic of this thread.
It’s irritating to me because if I, a black person, identify as a “black American” or “African American”, some folks will accuse me of not being patriotic enough. There’s a big continent of people who refuse to acknowledge hyphenated identities. Real Mericans are supposed to say they are plain Mericans. Anything else is being “PC” or divisve.
But if I say I am just “Merican”, then I get “Where are you REALLY from?” I can’t win.
And it’s even more awkward for a black person.
Me: “I am from Atlanta, GA.”
Other person: “No, where are you really from?”
Me: “My parents are from Indiana.”
Other person: “I mean before them.”
Me: “I am the descendant of west African slaves and Scot-Irish slaveowners.”
Other person: “Oh.”
Granted, this exact exchange has only happened twice in my life. But every time somewhere asks where I am really from, I am reminded of my “otherness”, which sucks. I have a Latin name, an English surname, and I speak standard American English without a foreign accent. There’s no good reason to ask me where I’m from. I wish people would just ask me “What race are you?” rather than acting like they care about my geographical origins.
I’ve never heard of someone asking a black person “where are you really from”? Is it that these people thought you were of Hispanic heritage? Not that that’s a good reason, but it seems to make more sense.
If I was a black American, and someone who knew I was black asked me “where are you really from”, I’d probably say something like: How the fuck should I know? My African ancestors were brought over from Africa and stripped of any knowledge of their familial histories. And I don’t really know who my white ancestors were, other than that most of them were men. Typically, they didn’t keep track of which slaves they raped and who their offspring were.
I have been told that my racial appearance is ambiguous. So that may explain why I hear “Where are you really from?” all the time.
Maybe they thought you were Rachel Dolezal? 
I get it and I look unambiguously black.
“Where are you from?”
“here” (As I’ve lived in the greater Seattle area since I was a child)
That answer isn’t good enough, so it is followed by “where are you really from?” (the US) “where are your parents from?” (also the US) and “your name sounds ______, are you ____?” (No, I’m not, but the slaveowners probably were)
I’ve never actually said that last one, because what I mostly want is to get through my day and being confrontational isn’t going to help with that. Maybe someday, I will.
For me (and realizing that I don’t speak for everyone), if the questioner doesn’t take the answer offered and keeps pressing, I have a hard time seeing it as non-offensive. Just asking, though, can be often be irritating enough.
By “Latin” name, do you mean Spanish? If so, I think that might be the answer right there. I once had a female engineer who worked for me with a Spanish first name, and none of us could figure out what race she was. Not that we really cared, but it was sort of like an SNL “Pat” thing, but with race. Was she white? Was she black? Was she Hispanic? Was she all of the above?
We Americans are obsessed with race…
After the Jersey Shore debacle, I long for the days when I was asked if I knew any mobsters.