Microsoft Reader sucks ass

Fuck this noise.

Jack Lyon’s excellent Word reference, Total Word Domination, is available only as an eBook. Fine, whatever. So in 2003 I paid for and downloaded it and installed Microsoft Reader so I could use the book. This involved, for some Godforsaken reason, obtaining a Microsoft Passport account to “activate” the thing. Fine and dandy if your already use Hotmail, but I don’t use that piece of shit, I have a real ISP. Whatever, I sign up for some stupid account, activate, and I’m off and running.

A few hard drive wipes later, I need to use the book again. Whoops, never reinstalled MS Reader.

<long, pissy afternoon and much cussing deleted>

Well, since I don’t recall and don’t fucking care what fucking Passport account I had before, since I have never used it since then, and knowing what I know of Hotmail it’s probably been deactivated anyway since I never USE it, I create a new one to "activate Reader again. But because I used a different account to “activate” it, they think I’m trying to STEAL the eBook that I PAID for. No soup for you. I am stuck in a vortex of “You must update/reactivate Reader to access this content.” No shit, I did that, you cocksuckers.

What the fuck is this shit? I have to maintain a fucking Hotmail/Passport account just so I can use their “free” MS Reader program and a book that I already bought?? Yeah, I know, it’s some bullshit about copyright protection, but surely they can find an easier way to protect their precious copyright that this motherfucking asinine method.

Fuck. Everything I need to know about wildcards is in that book, and I can’t open it. Double mother fuck.

“Fuck Microsoft,” you say?

“I’ll go get the rusty chainsaw,” say I.