You have your supercool https://eopen.microsoft.com where I can put in a few number and get access to your wondrous products. Except four times out of five I can’t log in due to a connection error - a connection error that is on Microsoft’s side, or so their own website tells me.
Oh, and if you try to use Firefox you get the browser telling you, basically, “It’s trying to forward me in an infinite loop, so I’m going to stop loading the page”.
But no, the shitty implementation isn’t why I’m really fucking frustrated right now. No, the problem now is that I have these handy-dandy license keys for Server 2003 R2…but I can’t download the software.
What? Am I stupid? I get to the page, and click on the language I want to download. Let’s see, my choices are…
Brazilian
Chinese Simplified
Chinese Traditional
Chinese Traditional Simplified
Czech
Dutch
Hungarian
Italian
Korean
Polish
Portuguese
Russian
Swedish
Turkish
What the everfucking hell is going on here? Oh, I know, I’ll call up my friendly MicroSoftDrone and see what she has to say.
“Oh, that’s a known issue on the website. We don’t have an ETA as to when it will be fixed.”
What the fuck? It’s not like you RAN OUT OF DISKS, IS IT?
No Spanish? Well, that does it for Florida, New Mexico, California, Texas, New York, half of New Jersey and Massachusetts, and a few countries down below.
“Sorry about that Stop Payment I put on the check I sent you for your software, Microsoft. It’s a Known Issue with my bank account. I’m afraid I don’t have an ETA as to when it will be fixed, but I have bankers working around the clock on it.”