Goddamn, Miguel Batista is a useless fucking tool. Whenever that crooked-capped imbecile comes in from the Blue Jays bullpen my wife laughs and say, no matter how big the Jays lead, “They don’t have enough Batista Insurance.” and she’s usually right.
Oh, 4-3 lead against the Mariners, look who Gibbons has brought in to close it out; Miguel Batista. Justin Speier was throwing nasty shit but he had to come out because Batista is THE CLOSER. Batista, whose named mean, in Spanish, “Belly itcher,” has been anointed with the idiot CLOSER tag, so he must close the game even though he fucking sucks chimp cocks and he’s only the third or fourth best pitcher in the Blue Jays’ bullpen.
But the Mariners suck. Surely Batista can close this out, right? Well, before I could even finish typing this, and I type fast, he’d let two men on base. Nobody out. Let’s do some play by… one out, sac bunt, runners to 2nd and 3rd… play.
Christ, they’re intentionally walking Ibanez. Sexson up, good double play possibility. But I am confident Batista will hit him with a pitch and tie the game. I can feel it.
HOLY FUCK, SEXSON HIT A FUCKING GRAND SLAM.
BATISTA! YOU SUCK! YOU FUCKING SUCK! YOU GODDAMN USELESS PIECE OF FUCKING FISH SHIT! YOU SUUUUUUCK! GO BACK TO ARIZONA YOU MOTHER-RAPING FELCHMASTER! MY SISTER COULD PITCH BETTER!
Well, I’d agree that he’s not what you’d call one of the premier pitchers in the league. But from 2000-2004 he’s been an average to slightly above average pitcher.
This year has sort of been an outlier for Batista in that for the first time in years he’s had no starts at all. Sure, he’s got seven blown saves but he’s still got a 2-1 K/BB ratio (50-26 as of this morning) and he’s only allowed 78 hits in 72.2 innings. Heck, his ERA is even more than half a run lower than in 2004.
Maybe the Mets would be interested in a Batista-for-Braden Looper trade.
You’d like Looper. Every time he gets out on the mound in a save situation his expression says “I’d rather be anyplace but here. Oooh, look, hitters. I feel an intestinal gas attack coming on.”
I could have written this rant about Dan Kolb earlier this season. There’s not much worse than watching a closer come on and completely blow a lead. When it gets so bad that the fans groan and start to pace whenever the closer’s name is mentioned, it’s time to rethink strategies.
In the first half Batista was one of the luckiest pitchers I have ever seen. He was getting out after out after out on sizzling line drives. The AL was lighting him up; they were just getting ripped off by Orlando Hudson and Vernon Wells. I’ve honestly never seen a relief pitcher who got so lucky; he must have led all AL relievers in “shrieking liners in the hole with two men on but the second baseman made an amazing play.” I know it’s dangerous to make judgments based on observation but trust me, ALL Jay fans will tell you he was remarkably lucky. I’ve been watching baseball all my life and I’ve never seen anything like it; he’d groove three meatballs every inning, one would be a hit and two would crash into someone’s glove. I watch pretty much 90% of their games, and it was just creepy.
I predicted at the time that it was only a matter of time before they started lighting him up harder than a doobie at a Phish concert, and boy, was I right:
Before All-Star game: 2.97 ERA, 25K/10BB, 37 hits in 39 IP
After All-Star game: 5.57 ERA, 25K/16BB, 41 hits and 6 HR in 32.1 IP
Hey, how do you think I feel? Last year, my bloved Curt Schilling was the symbol of the Red Sox world series win. This year? He’s 7-8. Man, it would suck for him if he blew his career by pitching on that injured ankle just to help the Sox win the series…but we certainly did appreciate it at the time.
Serious question about the Jays, I live near Buffalo and have been a fan since my first game at the Ex. I get very little news in the local paper because of the damn Yankees. Those bastards are seven hours away but treated like the local team. Toronto is an hour and a half (on a good day depending on traffic on the QEW) away. But you guys are forigners and neglected to box scores.
Damn anti-Canadian bias and I’m sick of it. Goddamn one newspaper town.
Anyways, with the new management how do things look for the future? Money wise, free agent aquisitions, y’know making a serious run?
Pretty good overall, certainly much better than most teams.
The team has one of the highest rated farm systems in the majors; a lot of B-level talent coming through and some select A-level prospects.
The new owners, the Rogers company, seem quite serious about building the franchise, and this year purchased the SkyDome for pennies on the construction dollar. (They paid $28 million for a stadium that cost $600 million to build - in 1989 dollars, mind you.) Consequently the team’s financials are apparently vastly improved; they plowed a huge amount of money into upgrading the stadium, plan to spend more, and then announced the payroll would go up in the future. The official plan is to add at least $20 million in payroll next year if the right players can be had. The general consensus is that the team will make a big push to sign A.J. Burnett and possibly a veteran bat if Eric Hinske or Corey Koskie can be moved.
The team’s also marketing a LOT better than it ever has before; attendance is up a little, which will be the third straight year of increased attendance, though it won’t go up a lot until the team wins something.
There’s a few useless contracts on the payroll, but overall the team is young, talented, and high ceiling. The pitching prospects are mostly still minor leaguers, but the hitting prospects are already starting to make a major league impact.
I expect the team will probably be a serious contender next year, and for a few years afterwards. They’ll likely be one of the league’s better teams from 2006-2008.