Mike Tyson vs Neanderthal Man [Note: Very old thread]

…or just early man. If you put Mike and NM in the ring, who would be the champ? I think it was some x-file episode that said that early man’s intensified survival instincts would make him more formidable.

MT’s not that far removed from NT. He bit that guys freakin ear.

yeah, but early man would have swallowed.

Neanderthal Man might have swallowed if he was hungry. Early man would have passed it around the cave as he reinacted the fight.

      • This was asked some time ago, maybe on AOL. Mike would whup ass, because due to medicine and nutrition we are (on average) stronger and larger than any earlier “humans” that existed. In the game of evolutionary roulette, monkeys got muscles and we got brains. It’s true that an average adult gorilla can casually lift weight that would give Olympic athletes hernias, but so far, brains have turned out to be the better deal. - MC

I think an even better question could be “Which would stay out of jail the longest?”

Sounds reasonable to me, MC. Anyhoo, I feel kind of let down by the x-Files.
I wonder if they were talking about fight-or-flee? The writers could have been postulating that NM would be fighting for his life…in a state of terror…that might turn the tables. As for Mike, he might be fighting for the mortage on the mansion.

If ya ask me, Alley Oop would knock Tyson butt over teakettle, modern nutrition or no.


A couple of weeks ago, I met a scientific advisor for The X-Files. Chris Carter tries to base his stories on actual scientific theory and methods. But by the time the final draft is written a lot of that gets lost, ignored or is just plain wrong.

Scully doing a Southern blot in five hours… feh.

I heard somewhere (ok, Art Bell) that a chimp could whup Mike Tysons ass, is this true?

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This was, in a sense, discussed before where a chimp can toss around an amazing bit of weight, citing things such as a 700lb single hand pull. Of course, it’s not like the chimp would be boxing, but I’d pay to see one jump on Mike’s chest and bite him in the face.

Judging from the strength of primates, I’m guessing I could maybe take on a… umm… spider monkey. Yeah, that’d impress the ladies.

“I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”

Cecil’s take on 90 lb. chimp vs. man:


When you said Mike would whup butt because of his brain…
Did you think that through?

I’ve hear, or read that Neanderthal was far stronger than us. But, Mike, a trained boxer, could be the victor. Try- ing to to research this I stumbled into the Creationist web-site! SHEEECH(sp?)!!


Mike vs. Neandertal (yes, I spelled that right according to my Nat’l Geographic)- aren’t they the same person/thing. That heavy brow, that amazing lack of inteligence, the gutteral communication. Maybe the archeologists need to get on him and do some DNA testing!

And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss
of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so
wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth
of vast eternity can fill it up!
-Charles Dickens “Dombey and Son”

My guess would be the Early Man and/or ape.

But they couldn’t violate their parole and go to nudie bars in DC and have the county parole office shrug it off.

(Of course, Montgomery Co., MD wants Iron Mike earning income so they can get their share in income tax.)

Regarding the relative strength of humans VS. other primates. Why the heck are we the weaklings of the primate family? My theory is that most of the time we’re too inhibited to use our maximum possible strength. Anyone who’s seen a two-year old child move a sofa to get at a dust covered lollypop in back would know what I mean.

It’s old as fuck this thread but it’s worth asking

  1. Suely neandrathals were much stronger the us. But a lot of boxing is being able to take the hits, were they as resiliant as we are? Don’t see why not if not more.

  2. Could a neandrathal be taught how to follow the rules of boxing rather than it becoming a brawl within 5 seconds? Did they have the intelligence for it?

(Reading the replies in this thread Mike Tyson has really has managed to repair his public reputation in the last 21 years :flushed:)

Moved to the Game Room, a forum which didn’t exist in 1999, when this thread was started. The usernames have been lost from most posts made that long ago.

General Questions Moderator