I feel like I’m on a stage. No, not really, but I wish I were on a stage. Guess what? I always have perfect spelling and can type very well, regardless of how altered my mind might be. Well, at least every mind-altered state I’ve been in thus far in my life.
What alters the mind? Many things, many things. Such as the weather. Music is also a great example. Food, drugs, sights, smells, temperature – all these things go into altering the mind.
You might ask, “So is my mind being altered all the time, then?”
I would say, “Very good, sweetheart. You’re getting the hang of it.”
I purchased a 24oz Pepsi One today. It tasted kind of funny.
Do you guys know which smiley is my favorite?
Ugh I have been eating way too many peanut-butter and honey and chocolate-syrup sandwiches lately.
My mom is killing my kitty back in Ohio. Whenever my sister gets married, she gets cats. Whenever she gets divorced, she brings them home to my mom. Whenever my mom receives a cat, she can’t turn it away. Therefore, three cats now live in the house in which only one kitty existed for years. And that kitty is my favorite kitty and now it hates everybody and lives in the laundry room and never comes out. And my mom won’t give the other stupid cats away so our favorite kitty can live in peace.
Ah well. I think it’s aboot [sic] time for another pbahacs sandwich.
When I am drunk (which is my current state) I tend to put more effort into compoasoinsoicnaosincsudncalisubvlsaiudbvasdyvbsdvuasd viusd fviusdfiuash fiuashd fius iuh swfdiuah iwuhaewfsh
But sometimes my brain has a spazm and makes me aofvbh afrupaQERSFPWOUHFIWEFIWUE IWUEF IWUFEWFQiuISAFRIUSA RIUDERGUSRDIOUSHGIDHerghsaerghaee aiu iuh qaeiogr h
Even when I am sober that happens.
Good job we do lone shifts at work. And that the survailance camera has a crappy picture.
spontenaety is a cigar called aqieloruvapsdur PRSHF wpo iwerh fapiuwrhg saregiuh aerp; ou h
Never under estimate the ability of a woman to not know what is I’m talking about.
Case in point:
I’m standing outside the home of a client for whom I’m replacing some windows. It’s been raining all day and it’s starting to get cold. I mean really cold. And my feet are now soaking wet. I have to take my shoes off when I go inside to finish the windows. But, I have to go outside to caulk them and insulate them. Actualy, I insulate first, then caulk. It’s an elastomeric caulk. A new type of it. Because you can’t paint over elastomeric, but you can this stuff. So, i think they should call it something else. Except that it IS elastomeric. Wierd. That’s a funny word, too. And it looks wrong no matter how you spell it. I mean, look at it. Wierd. Weird. Unusual, no? Thing is, I have no real problem with how things are supposed to be spelled. It just chaps my hide, tho, that some people will jump on you for the slightest little mistake or juxtaposition of letters. I haven’t sent a letter in ages, what with email and stuff. Man, it was only like 1994 or so when I got into all this internet stuff, and now, I don’t know what I’d do with out it. I have longer lasting and deeper relationships with people I’ve known from way long ago and people I just met and stuff. And sometimes, people I don’t know just come up to me, as it were, and say, “Hey! I want to be your friend.” Sometimes, they just want to sell some sex service, but why would I bu something like that? Come on. Porn is free now. And a real life lay is as close as the nearest bar. Now, hooking up with someone really special is different. Long term relationships can be hard to do. Or to keep. But, that’s the beauty of love, what?
So, anyways, friend of mine drives by and honks at me. I turn to see if the person honking at me was honking at me or not. Turns out, she was. I don’t know how many of you know about all my problems with ex longterm GFs, but let’s just say, lately they’ve been coming back. Al I have to do is start dating the next person, and the last one (or two) is back on my phone, in my car, even (sometimes) in my bed. I’ma pain to live with, apparantly, but loads of fun to be with. Go figure. She brought me some hot coffe/cappuccino (I can’t spell cappuccino). The woman honking at me. Just in case anybody got lost. It was in a neighbourhood close by where she lives. I never dated her. Or boinked her. But, she is good friends with a certain ex of mine who got really mad 'cause I started going out with the girl who is now my stripper ex GF. Anyways, at a wedding, we were talking about how long love lasts and stuff, and she was talking about one thing and then the conversation took a turn that I should’ve expected and I said I would give her a ring. I meant about tomorrow. She thaought I meant a ful caret marquis cut solataire. I shouldn’t drink that much, I guess.
Well, this girl that brought me the cappuccino used to be mrried to a frined of mine and they lived next door to a cat who was always at their plac e instead. Well, one chilly gray day this cat was sitting under her, the cappuccino girl’s, minivan and she ran her over. Boy was she upset. Both of them were, actually. So, since hubby was being a jerk (to the point that he ended up leaving her ad he and I are no longer pals), she called me for help. So, I go get them and take them to an emergency animal fix ‘em up place, whatever thuy’re called. Turns out, a friend of mine works at this one. So we are chatting and stuff and poor little cat woman is on her cel phone seeing if hubby will put the bill for not killing the cat on his credit card. He asks how much would it cost to just kill it. When she tells him, he says to bring it over to his job and he’l do it for free. That kind of pissed me of and i said i would make up the difference between kiling the cat and not killing it. That pissed mih ffo and he said he’d go ahead and pay for it all. Fine. Whatever. So, fast forward to last winter and I’m doing some minor repair in her house while she’s at work. When she comes home, she catches me making the cat walk on its hind legs while I’m saying, “Thanks to the miracle of atomic mutation!” Poor cat. So she come in and says, “What are you doing?” “Trying to make your cat evolve,” I answered. It would probably be good to know, for the purpose of this story, that this cat was then given to her by the nieghbour people who thoght it was odd that she would care so much about a freakin’ cat, they woulda just had it put down. “You’re a dumb kitty! You look silly! You never evolved much, did you now?” are some examples of having a cat put down. I n my mind. Whiskey sour and Double Bubble Bubble Gum taste funny together.
The squirrel took the crumb. It ate and stared, stared and ate. At me, it stared as it ate the crumb I gave it. The tail twitched as it ate and stared, twitch twitch twitch. I would hate to have a tail like that… all twitchy and frenetic. And it ate fast, like so fast that a human would have stomach pains and perhaps gas from eating so fast. Fast as if its life depended on it eating the crumb fast in case something was hunting the squirrel, it wouldn’t be caught eating slowly, too slowly to run for it’s life twitch twitch twitch. It ate it fast and gone, and I dropped another crumb just in front of it, which scared it a little TWITCH TWITCH but it eyed it, eyed me and took it anyway, nibbling the crumb with super squirrely speed as if it couldn’t eat it fast enough twitch. Gone in seconds 10 and counting, down to the ground fell another crumb. They can’t get too fat, twitchy tails and snarfing crumbs like that SNAP of the fingers. They run fast up their trees, tails flying and twitching, filled with crumbs, filled to the brim. They run for crumbs, for the trees, for life. They run and twitch. Gone.
Wow. Going back and rereading it, I see I don’t ever make quite clear who it is I’m talking about. I mean, I can tell when I switch, 'cause it’s my life. But, with no labels, it all looks very… confusing. Hey, Quazzz wanted mind altered streams. I gave him one.
I liked the squirls story. Especially the bit about the squirls.
Whenever my sister gets married, she gets cats. Whenever she gets divorced, she brings them home to my mom. Whenever my mom receives a cat, she can’t turn it away. Therefore, three cats now live in the house in which only one kitty existed for years. And that kitty is my favorite kitty and now it hates everybody and lives in the laundry room and never comes out. 
