Mini-Rants for April Fools

Followup: Sr. Weasel cooked eggs for our son tonight without asking me a single question. I only realized that it happened when I smelled burning. He opened all the windows to vent the kitchen.

“You burned the eggs?”
“I burned the butter. The eggs are okay.”
“That’s just… We’ll call that a success, honey!”

I extolled to him the virtues of medium heat but I think overall this one’s a win.

So is it safe to say you will be giving your phone the middle finger for a few days?

Glad it was minor and props to you for remembering about a tetanus booster (p.s.- rustiness isn’t really here nor there when considering whether you need one.)

I started smoking pot when I was 15 or so. I’ve used all almost all of the years since then knowing that I was risking a felony. When I was able to get my MMJ card, it was magic. I have always said that pot should be legalized, regulated and taxed. Now I have my wish and I consider going to the dispensary to be a trip to Disneyland almost. It’s awesome and amazing to someone my age to be able to walk into a wonderful store and buy all sorts of weed and toys.

Today, I was happily experiencing a fun shopping trip with my budista when a recreational user started going off on his budista because she wouldn’t let him touch something. She made nice noises, he got louder and a button must have been pushed because the armed, uniformed security guard appeared and us innocents got herded out the back door and told that we would have to hide back there for our security while the police were called.

Way to kill my buzz, man.

@JaneDoe42 IME when someone gets pushy at the dispensary, they’re usually a little drunk.

I just received my third PA MMJ card in the mail. Visiting the dispensary is like a dream come true.

The guy from my old church who drives me to the grocery store each Tuesday was discussing his grandchildren. I said, even if my son had lived, I still wouldn’t have had grandkids. The people he liked weren’t fertile. He says, oh theres a lot of problems nowadays with fertility. I said, no, he was gay. Oh, when did he decide that? er…

Yay for Sr. Weasel! I definitely call that a success, even moreso since it was unsolicited.

I shouldn’t have knocked him so hard - overlyhusband has improved over the years. For example, he doesn’t just sit on his butt and wait for me to ask him to get the girl when the day is done at school. Sometimes he just gets her himself without asking, which for him is a huge step (though granted, we’ve had children for 15 years and this is something that only started happening in the last 2).

I feel that comic you shared, shoe, down in my bones. Looking at it makes me just want to take a nap.

I’m turning into my mom, too. I remember when I’d get pissed (even on this board) when mom would call me at work, only to ask in a chirpy obnoxious voice, “What’cha doin’? I had salmon for dinner. So and so died - she’s my friend’s trainer’s son. You remember, right? Isn’t that tragic? Well? Isn’t it?” And I’d think what the hell am I supposed to do with that information?! Now I find myself cursing under my breath because too many people have talked to me and, especially since the pandemic started, offering completely nonsensical details about stuff I’ve been up to for lack of anything else to share. Dammit. Instant-mom.

Okay, now I’ve got a mini-rant: why are kids such freaking asshats?

I just got a call from the principal of my daughter’s school and apparently overlygirl busted one of her friends because said “friend” filled a cup full of hand sanitizer and tried to get some other kid to drink it. She’s not in trouble, but this is the same little shit that gave her relatively innocuous terms that led her to a porn cache on google.

My daughter is 11. Christ on a cracker, I’m not prepared for this shit. Thank god no one got hurt.

Sorry, when you say “busted” do you mean your daughter informed on the friend who tried to poison a classmate, or do you mean your daughter physically assaulted the friend? I’m totally fine with the former, not so much the latter.

Ha. I can see why. No, apparently she told the kid not to drink out of the cup and informed the teacher about what happened.

And… you’re upset about this? I think someone raised that girl right, and she deserves her choice of dinner or at least a treat.

Definitely not upset with overlygirl at all - just at the kid who thought it was a good idea in the first place. And yeah, overlygirl totally gets to decide dinner tonight.

There’s a reddit for that. r/KidsAreFuckingStupid

And websites (I’m looking at you, CNN!!) that autoplay videos. I guaran-damn-tee you, that behavior is not something ANYONE wants.




Fuck Fox “News” Lexington, they posted a news story from the middle of last year – about looting in big bad liberal Chicago, of course – as if it was a new story. :roll_eyes:

To follow up on my post, I emailed Fox Lexington to ask why they’d post a stale story, and they said News Nation accidentally pushed it to their website and they took it down once they noticed. As the latter is true – I didn’t see the article on their website when I went there last night – I take back my mini-rant against the station. As to News Nation accidentally pushing a story from several months ago :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

So my former friend who is a maganut, to be kind, tells me Michelle Obama is Really a man…just watch an Ellen episode. Oh good lord. There was really no reason to reply. I would respect a flat earther more.

I ask this mostly out of morbid curiousity - how do they explain where Sasha and Malia came from?


  1. Eviction of my ex-wife from my home becomes final with the arrival of movers, 6am
  2. Started a new position, but because of item a, effectively had to call in on my first day, 7:30am
  3. My lady friend, with whom I am/was quite smitten, broke up with me via text, 9am
  4. And my brother, whom I haven’t seen since 2012, calls and says he’s pulling into San Marcos for a few hours, 1pm

Well, visiting with my brother was nice. But, Laura and I have shared the same address for 31 years now, a run which came to an end today, April 8th, 2021, and I really, really liked Cris. :broken_heart:

Holy shit. That’s…impressive. :slightly_frowning_face: Tomorrow’s going to be better, man. It’ll pretty much have to be.