Minor pit: Are men not allowed to buy sheets?

Seriously, if you ever want an awkward situation: Be a single man, enter a department store, head to “bed/bath”, and then shop for and purchase sheets/pillows.

My own bedding has gotten pretty worn. Today, with a coupon in hand, I went to the nearest Macy’s. Browsing the “bed/bath” department was me, a college-age looking girl with her mom, and another mom with 4 youngish (probably ages 5-14) girls. Now, my intent is this: I need new sheets. And admittedly I haven’t bought these before (some of my bedding goes back to my college years.) So I’m looking around - because I honestly have never bought this stuff before (when I was in college, mom did it for me) and it’s all new. Thread count - I know what that means, but I’m going around, looking at everything, seeing what it all costs, looking for colors that fit my bedroom. I happen to glance up, and: Both moms are glaring at me like I’m some sort of creepy pedophile. I’ve made no contact whatsoever with anyone, not even eye-contact, so this is weird already.

Then the clerk (older woman) approaches me with a scowl: “Can I help you, SIR?” No, thanks, just browsing. And I will buy something, just give me a few minutes. And then she spends the next few minutes glaring at me.

I pick out two sets of sheets (nothing crazy/creepy), just one light-blue set and one off-white one. Also two new pillows. I bring them to the counter and then get this gem of an exchange:

Clerk: “Will you be paying for this with a Macy’s card?”
Me: “Yep.”
Clerk: “Oh, so it’s a joint account?”
Me: “Uhhhh…no. It’s a personal account.”
Clerk: “Oh! So it’s for your wife, then!”
Me: “No. I don’t have a wife.”
Clerk: “Ah! Fiancée!”
Me: “…No…just for me”
Clerk: baffled “Is this a wedding present, then? Do you want to check our registry?”
Me: sigh “No. These sheets and pillows are for me.”
Clerk: :confused:, then :dubious:
Me: double sigh “Here’s my card, just ring it up please.”

…and the clerk, and the moms, glared at me all the way out. WTF? Does a single man not need something to put on his bare mattress? Is “bed/bath” a forbidden area for men in a department store? :rolleyes:

I guess us single men are supposed to sleep on a bed of old newspapers until we get married :smiley:

Wow, must be an American thing. I’ve never gotten that treatment. :confused:

Your clerk sounds like an ass, but admittedly I buy sheets at shitty places like Zeller’s (now owned by Target) or Walmart; places where they are disinclined to speak to me, much less mock me!

Creepy indeed.

I shop for that kind of stuff at KMart or Target.
No one bothers you.

It does sound strange. But I don’t have any experience at all buying sheets. I’ve always been able to have a woman do that for me. Maybe men never go to that department at Macy’s.

BTW: Did you check what you look like in a mirror after you left? Or you know, look down to see if the barn door was open?

I have a feeling it is a GameHat thing.

  • friedo, buying sheets unmolested since 2003.

Hm? How’s that?

Yeah, I’ve never been glared at for buying sheets.

That you got weird treatment not because you’re a single man but because of some quirk particular to you. Perhaps you wore a vest made of human skin or were wearing a t-shirt that says “Proud Deflowerer of Virgins since 1987(on new sheets)” or something.

I’ve bought sheets/bedding many times. Never a problem.

Next time try putting on pants before you go shopping.

That’s just silly.

Maybe something in your demeanor suggested you were uncomfortable buying them, which is why you were treated that way?

Maybe he just has a poor idea of what he looks like to others.

I think I look like an unintimidating nerd, but once one of my wife’s friends mentioned she saw me but didn’t say hi and when asked why said I looked “scary, like a crazy person or killer”:dubious:

I’ve bought my own at bed bath and beyond without incident several times.

Maybe you should throw away that Aryan Nation t-shirt…

  1. They were headed to Chick-fil-A after Macy’s?

  2. You’re incredibly hot, and the thought of you romping with somebody besides them in those sheets was too much to bear.

  3. You had a booger.

  4. See human skin vest comment above.

I’ve never had a problem, per se…but I do like to go to Old Time Pottery when I want something for my house or just to browse, and I have gotten looks there from both men and women. I guess regular old dudes aren’t supposed to be browsing waste baskets and throw pillows. Well excuse the eff out of me.

In hindsight, shopping for new sheets wearing only your old sheets may have been a mistake.

What did you end up buying? Was it something that others might assume are feminine, based on colors or something?

It’s possibly, although I admit unlikely, that you committed a fashion faux pas of some sort. Next time you find yourself in that situation, it could be fun to ask “Why wouldn’t you think they are for me? Is there something you’re trying to tell me?”

This, of course, ignores the glares from the other customers and the way the initial salesperson treated you.


God damn it! I’m just a pathetic single man with no woman to help me with these complicated linens of Satan. And I’m sick and tired of sleeping on 20 year old sheets stained with cheetos dust, spilt beer, gallons of semen, and tears of despair. Yes, I know these fucking sheets with the unicorns don’t match up with the plaid pillow cases but I don’t give a shit. Just ring me up bitch!

I’ve never heard of anything like that, and I wouldn’t think a think about a man by himself buying sheets or towels unless he was doing something odd like mumbling to himself.

This is not what I consider to be a minor rant.

That damn clerk is seriously whacked in the melon.

The only time I went to BBB is when I was looking for a sleep mask.

I entered the store and was immediately approached by a sales clerk. She wasn’t bitchy, she just asked me if she could help me with anything. I told her I’m just looking for a sleep mask. She then tells me: “We have some but you wouldn’t like them.”

I took her at her word and did a 180. On my way home I got to thinking: “How the hell would she know if I wouldn’t like them?” … “Was that woman just trying to get me out of her store? What’s going on here?”

My experience was laughable. The OP’s experience annoys the hell out of me.