The Stupidest Example of Retail Stupidity Ever Stupidified

The BBQ Pit
1

So I went to Macy’s after work this evening to buy a new winter coat, since the one I had got ripped and stained and thus ended up in the Give-To-Homeless-People pile, and I knew Macy’s had a nice whole section of leather coats downstairs.

So I’m down in the annals of 34th street, my eyes bulging out at the ridiculous prices on some of these garments. I find some reasonably priced ones, however, and take one off of its hanger to see if it fits.

But I can’t.

There is a cord attached to the clothing rack, looped through one of the sleeves.

Yes, that’s right, ladies and gentlemen, the jacket was tied to the rack. No longer is this idea limited to the cheap ballpoint pens in banks! It should be noted that the jackets had those magnetic anti-shoplifting doohikeys also.

Of course, this cord makes it impossible to try on the jacket. Upon further inspection, I discover that the cords terminate at some sort of locking device. Obviously, I will have to flag down some Minimum Wage Lackey who has the awesome responsibility of holding the Sacred Leather Jacket Key.

The only minimum wage lackey I see, however, seems to be wondering around aimlessly, occasionally fondling a jacket, and glancing at a clipboard. From the expression on his face, it appears that this jacket-fondling and clipboard-glancing is the most difficult job in the entire world.

First, I try to catch his glance.

Then, I try waving at him.

Then, I say, “Uh, excuse me.”

Then, I walk over to him, and stand directly in front of him.

friedo: “Excuse me.”
Minimum Wage Lackey: “Huh?”
f: “Do you work here?”
MWL: “Yeah.”
f: “I want to try on a jacket over there, but it’s tied to the rack.”

Then, with the weight of the Whole Universe upon his shoulders, he let out a mighty sigh, for the responsibility of wielding the Magical Mystical Magnificent Sacred Leather Jacket Key is too amazingly Big for us mere mortals to understand.

MWL: “Hold on.”

So hold on I did. For about five minutes, while I watched the MWL disapear into some room and never return.

So I left, jacketless.

So, Macy’s:
Are you dumb? Tying clothes to the racks? That’s the stupidist thing I ever heard of. What if a person wants to try on several articles? He needs a dedicated lackey to unlock things for him. Do you realize if you eliminated this Stupid Example of Stupidity, you would have to hire fewer people, and I would have spent ten minutes locating an aesthetically and monetarily pleasing jacket, trying it on, and would have gladly plopped it down on the counter and whipped out my Mastercard?

Of course you didn’t, because you are a dumbass.

BTW: Anyone know a good place in Manhattan to buy a jacket for not a lot of money?

2

This is done at other retail places too and it annoys the living FUCK out of me.What fucktard thought up this system anyway?
IDBB

3

The first and only time I’ve ever seen this is when I was trying to shop for a new trench coat last spring at The Bay in Toronto. Still cold, but they’re bringing in the summer stuff, y’know…

The cords there were long enough to try them on, but it was still kind of humiliating. And the snotty sales lady pretty much acted like I wasn’t there while she helped a bunch of other people, and sounded like it physically pained her the one time I asked her a question. (I guess 'cause I look like a kid with no money.)

I ended up buying a really nice coat for about $125 CDN (marked down), at Jacob in the Eaton Centre. And a cute girl helped me try it on. :stuck_out_tongue:

4

Personally I get a big kick out of watching Retail Wage Lackeys avoid my eye when I need “customer assistance”. It’s like they’re gazelles at an African water hole trying to use Body English to tell some predator, “Don’t pick me, don’t pick me, I wouldn’t taste good at all…”

I had a gazelle at K’s Merchandise in my sights the other day. I was trying to buy a futon and she was doing the “I’m busy, I’m busy, I’m oh so busy” clipboard thing over in the Lighting section. I stalked her carefully, but she got away, pretty fast on her feet, I didn’t notice she was wearing flats instead of heels like the other females of her species. I had to go up to the checkout to find another victim.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

5

Minimun Wage Lackey speaking up here. Y’all STEAL!

Okay?

Not you, but many other folks who look and act just like you do. I know it sucks, but you are just dealing with the aftermath of massive inventory loss.

Four days ago I had to deal with a woman who had unpacked a vcr and was trying to walk out of my store with said vcr held firmly between her knees.

Don’t blame the store, get pissed at the people that wanna steal from it, okay?

Shop online, friedo, and stop getting pissy at us poor MWLs, okay? I’m SOOOO sorry that the jacket worth more than my monthly rent was tied down.

6

Well…not that we folks down here in Alabama actually wear coats (she said as her thermometer hit 26 degrees F), but, I’ve seen that practice going on here for at least the last ten years.

Anything leather, suede, or remotely “expensive” is chained to the rack. I’ve even seen lots of heavy canvas and man-made fleece coats at WalMart held to the rack by a wire! But the ones I’ve seen have chains or wire long enough to be able to try the coat or jacket on.

I figured it was commonplace by now. Coats in cold weather are pretty popular theft items, I’d imagine.

7

He’s supposed to shop online so that not only can he not try it on (the very thing he complains of!) but he can ALSO not even see the damn thing in reality? :confused:

Personally, I don’t understand why anyone would shop for clothes online anyways. It takes me a few hours to find something that fits to my satisfaction when I’m at a store, how the hell am I supposed to do that virtually?

8

did you check roots? or h&m actually the costco in my area has a leather jacket roadshow going on… maybe there is one near manhattan with the same show.

9

First time I ever saw the chain thing was back in the early 80’s at Marshall Field’s in Chicago. A friend and I were going to a post-graduate school, and decided one Saturday to windowshop where the rich folks go. We had to pass through a little gate to get into the area where the jackets and coats were. Just about choked to see a short length rabbit fur(I think) jacket going for $2000. Hey, we were both hicks from the Midwest.

10

Actually, I blame Winona Ryder.

11

friedo, it’s your own damn fault for having arms. A double-amputee would have no problem draping the tethered jacket over his shoulders to check the fit. Especially if he also had his legs amputated at the knee so he’d be at the level of the rack. So more accurately, it’s your fault for having all four limbs intact.

12

Coats wired to the rack in an apparently self-service store? It sounds to me like we’re supposed to bring fence cutters when we shop at these places.

13

You’ll find those in the hardware section. Just stop there first.

14

cherry: I don’t shop at CostCo because they don’t trust a single one of their customers…er, “members.” If they have actual probable cause that a particular customer is shoplifting something, then yes they’ve every right to examine the bags and the receipts. Otherwise, they’re just being jerks who lose customers.

15

I was at Kohl’s a few months back. I realized I needed a new leather jacket…they were having a big grand opening sale, I went to check out their selection. I found one I liked. Realized it was teathered to the rack. Managed to try it on anyways, despite the cords. I decided to buy it, and began the search for a MWL. I found one a few aisles over, reshelving sweaters. I asked for assistance, she looked at me like I had 3 heads. I explained that the jacket I wanted to purchase was locked in, and I wanted to buy it. She told me that was impossible. I walked her over to the rack, and showed her that, yes, the jackets were locked to the rack. She shook her head, and walked away. Ten minutes later, a manager came over with a key. The jacket rippped last week…Im afraid of the stupidity Ill encounter when I try to take it back.

16

Wouldn’t friedo have to flag down a lackey to do the draping? Unless he can somehow hook it with his feet, fling it into the air, bend over a little bit, and catch it at the shoulders.

Which isn’t tough. I bet I could do it!

And that “because you’re stealing” line is pure crap. You think people are stealing? Then use those thingys I have to walk through to get into and out of the store. Tag your merchandise. Install more cameras. But bolting the merchandise to the hanger? Sounds like you’re trying your damndest to alienate your customers, who are far more likely to give up and leave without buying anything than wait around while some doofus with The One Key can deign to unlock that marvy jacket.

17

I have never seen this in my life.

18

Monty Thats what bothers me about Costco too.

19

I now do most of my shopping on line. Order a variety of coats, try 'em on at home, keep the one you like, and return the others.

20

I would’ve waited till she got to the door just to see if she could make it. :slight_smile:

Why can’t stores chain down the jackets, but put enough slack in the chains (5 feet, maybe) that would at least allow someone who wants to give the store money to try the damn thing on? I was looking at a coat the other day and I could barely take it off the rack.

This trend of “some people are criminals, so let’s inconvenience everybody” sucks real bad. I blame Winona Ryder and John Ashcroft.