That’s why I shop for my sheets online. I don’t have to worry about the prying eyes of the public. They show up in a discreet brown box that says ‘Not sheets’. Not one of my neighbors knows of my sick fetish for covering my man mattress.
Were you wearing a gamer as a hat?
I get shitty treatment when I go to auto parts stores, for some reason. Not hateful, just ignoring. It’s like having a penis make you visible in there.
After all that, you should have posed the question “what do you recommend for wrapping dead bodies for disposal”?
That’s really weird, and something I’ve never experienced.
Was your cock out? Are you creepy in general?
Joe
That is just beyond bizarre to me. Do you look like a scary biker dude?
“Yeah, I got tired of sleeping on rocks and straw and decided to try out one of them new fangled ‘bed’ things. I hope it works out.”
I figured if cedar shavings were good enough for hamsters they were good enough for me. Though I guess I shouldn’t have told that cute female clerk why I was actually buying 40 bags of the stuff. They did throw in one of those water bottle things for free, which I mounted on the wall so I don’t have to get up at night for a drink…so thats nice. And man do I smell good when I get up in the morning. My Old Spice bill has plummeted let me tell you.
You probably set off the pedophile alarm system within the herd, and they circled their young.
P.S. Don’t hang out in the kids section at the book store.
I bought new sheets a week ago, and didn’t get any unusual reaction at all when I did it. Just “OK, swipe your card through the reader there.”.
This is, quite seriously, what I would encourage anyone to do should they encounter reactions such as the OP received. Because those reactions are not only not normal, they’re bizarre. Call the manager over when that kind of crap occurs.
An angry look and a stern (and loud) “I’m sorry, is there an issue with my purchase that is going to require a manager?” is usually quite enough to stop the bullshit.
This experience is also terrible, though. It doesn’t matter if their only masks were pink with lace and bows and unicorns <which is the only remotely sane reason I can think of for the clerk saying what she did>. But that was still totally clueless and rude on her part. Well, probably more clueless than rude, but there are a dozen reasons a guy might WANT to buy sleep masks with unicorns and ribbons and it’s the opposite of her job to decide what you want.
Ok, now I’ve gotta come up with a dozen reasons why a man might want to buy a sleep mask with unicorns and ribbons, don’t I? At least let me wake up first, mmkay?
Even scary biker dudes need sheets.
It’s actually spelled “Satin”.
In situations like that, I don’t get mad, I just throw it back on the other person acting like an asshole.
Clerk: Is this for your wife or fiancee?
Me: Oh no, she’s out of town, and me and the new lady are gonna have a GOOD time with these sheets. By the way, what is your return policy?
Did you have to buy the Strawberry Shortcake sheets?
Where do you live? I’ve never had that problem getting bedding.
Not in Bed,Bath, and Beyond Redemption it isn’t 
You know, don’t you, that ALL the sizes, ALL the thread counts and ALL the colors taste exactly the same, right?
“Ma’am, can you tell me if these taste Queen-sized to you?”
Satin is in the bedding department.
Satan is in the beyond department.
Easy to tell the difference really.
I am a big scary biker dude.
Back in my first life, that wife liked to go to upper scale stores.
I was just hanging out waiting but she wanted me THERE.
I would get the “Can I help YOU?” until murder was looking like more of an option.
Even, “I’m with her…” did not cover the hordes of new clerks that seemed to appear.
So…
I would step over to the ladies undergarments area and sneer while I fondled the panties on display. No one would approach me them.
Really pissed the wife off too. Win, win… < VEG >