Perfectly adequate for suggesting that your post makes you sound like one, though. That’s totally different from actually calling you one.
P.S. Best of luck to you, sultry. I hope you’re successful at getting through this.
I think Omar is spot on. Let this be a life lesson.
I don’t see how the guy could be on the hook for your medical bills since he has no relationship to you and there is no baby. No live birth equals no paternal responsibility. Miscarriages don’t have legal “fathers.” If you’d had the kid, he’d have been responsible for the kid, but your pregnancies are on your own dime. There are ways to avoid pregnancy. Look into them.
As the product of a broken condom myself, I urge you to consider that babies can happen even when all parties are being responsible and taking precautions to avoid conception (short of not having sex at all).
And before the issue even arises, my parents weren’t irresponsible teenagers - they were in their mid-30’s and had been married over 10 years at that point. Whoops.
Broomstick, you have apparently misread my advice. My advice was not against having sex, having pre-marital sex, having unprotected sex, having wild abandoned crazy late night drinking sex. My advice was be more careful about the men you choose to have sex with. Don’t pick guys to have sex with that aren’t going to be there for you if you end up in this type of situation again. This kind of falls in line with “don’t fuck the crazy”. Don’t fuck the irresponsible low life.
Bingo. Don’t fuck scumbags and then act surprised when they act like scumbags.
Great. Knock yourself out!
As (believe it or not) I’m still surprised, at 45 years of age, at how many people (men and women alike) can carry on a charade of stability, responsibility, compassion, etc–in short, all the qualities you would look for in a mate–and then turn like a rattlesnake when the going gets tough.
If you have a good success rate in predicting each and every scumbag who may enter your life, you should write a book and make a million bucks.
The way I read it, we have no way of knowing of the OP was in a one-night stand or a 10 year relationship where a seemingly OK guy bailed when he heard “pregnant”. Women are not psychic, they can not get into another person’s head. Until a pregnancy occurs there is no way to know for sure how the other party is going to react. We don’t know what was going on between them, we certainly don’t know if any birth control was being used, or what sort.
Really, you’re coming off as the sort who believes women should be punished for having sex by making assumptions here. The question wasn’t “should I have had sex with this worthless jackass?” but rather “is he at all on the hook for any of the bills?” The latter said in a fairly non-judgmental manner. In fact, the OP seems to have taken the news “no, he’s not” without a blink and moved on to the other helpful advice given, such as try to negotiate with the hospital billing department, seek out aid from the state, etc. Your advice, however, was not helping the situation she asked about - paying the bills - as opposed to advice on her sex life which she notably DID NOT ask for.
So if you aren’t the sort who thinks women who have sex get whatever is coming to them, you might consider modifying how you express your views given quite a few people have reacted to your post with “wow, what a jerk” as opposed to “gee, that’s really good advice.”
I don’t really care what you think. As I’m sure you don’t really care what I think. But you and many of the other posters in this thread seem to gloss over that my initial response was not to the OP’s first post, but to her whine about the system unfairly slighting her.
If she’s relying on the system to keep her whole because she made the wrong decision on who to have sex with, then she’s relying on the incorrect system. She should be relying on her own judgement. Don’t expect the system to bail you out for your bad judgement. This isn’t about sex…it’s about good decision making.
Are you sure you won’t step into the Pit for just one moment? Just stick a toe in, maybe? Some fine, upstanding people who many know and respect have been blindsided by a partner’s misdeeds.
Are these fine upstanding people whining about how the system should have protected them from their partner’s misdeeds?
No, and neither is the OP.
“Miscarriage Father’s Responsibilities to Help Pay Bill (No Insurance)”
“Are there laws requiring the Father to help pay the bill?”
Did you notice the word help?
Thanks. I had fun 
Diogenes, all I’m gonna say is there’s a time and a place for everything, and this ain’t it.
Everyone, enough of the stealth insults and snark. I was going to address specific names but there are too many to mention.
The backhanded insults will stop, or we’ll be closing down this thread–and/or handing out warnings.
Re: Retroactive MediCal. How long does the process take? Will she be stuck with paying for late fees/penalties if she incurs any because she doesn’t have the money now?
Ya know, sometimes people bang folks they have no intention of breeding with. I have zero desire to form the babby of the guy I’m shagging now. Not everyone is some creepy Catholic who shags for reproduction purposes only. A lot of the time it is 100% recreational, and has zero to do with whether or not their partner would make a great parent.
If we’re going to turn this into a nag-fest about lessons to be learned, I think the better lesson would be “birth control* is your friend” and not “only have sex with people who are model citizens and would be A+ fathers.” The latter is ridiculous.
Anywho, good luck sultry.
*Though not 100% effective.
I recommend talking to the patient financial advisor in the hospital about the bill and your lack of insurance. They will be able to assist you, perhaps by applying for Medi-Cal assistance, setting up a payment plan and/or lowering the bill. Don’t just ignore the bill.
You may also be able to get them to waive the bill. I have a friend who is a professional dancer who makes almost no money during the year. Because of that when she went to the hospital they made a deal with her that if she could provide her last year’s taxes proving she made less than a certain amount and get letters from 2 people advising that she is, indeed, super poor they wouldn’t charge her a dime. She met their requirements and they advised the bill would be waived.
Is she a really bad dancer or something?
No, she is actually really good and is a member of a professional troupe and everything. She just isn’t with the big name companies and instead works with a small troupe that doesn’t pay very much. She also caters and does other work on the side which pays pretty well but she is limited in the time she can put in there because the dancing comes first and takes up much of her schedule.
Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha is talking to Smith about the play he is in and he tells her he is only making like $30 a show? That is not abnormal here at all. Lots of performers make crap money doing what they love and work side jobs to pay the bills, unfortunately insurance isn’t usually one of the bills they pay because it is so expensive.
See, I have a problem with that. She shirks her responsibility to follow her dream, and everyone else ends up paying for her healthcare.
StG