Misheard Mondegreens--- This time it's personal!

Every time a misheard lyrics thread comes up I post the story of my daughter and The Wonder Years, much to her chagrin. Yesterday it was my turned to be laughed at. Like it’s funny to make fun of an old person who can’t hear as well as she used to.
But wait-- you say you’ve never heard the Wonder Years Story? O.K., I’ll tell it if you insist.

Me and the kids are watching Nickelodeon back when they used to show The Wonder Years 5 times a day, so it was no surprise when Joe Cocker starts singing on the TV. My daughter sings along. Sings Heartache:

Watch what you do
With that stank attitude
Don’t you stand up
And walk out on me.

All these years later and that still makes me chuckle.
So. . . yesterday I’m listening to Nelly on my headphones and I wonder aloud if Willem DeFoe will sue Nelly for alleging that he (Willem) gets high with the other him (Nelly)

“Wha?” says my daughter.
“The chorus of Ride Wit Me.” says I all smartassed, “Nelly says
If you wanna go and take a ride with me
Between Willem DeFoe and the Goldies. . .
If you wanna go and get high with me
Smoke an “L” in the back of the Benzee

Hilarity ensues.

You now. You know you’ve done it.

Eat my OP, will you? There! I didn’t give the hamsters the satisfaction-- boy am I quick with the copy and paste.

Yo you know what an “L” is, but didn’t get “women in da fo’”? But if it eases your embarrassment, I’ll make my own confession: when I first heard Angie Martinez’s “If I Could Go” a while back, I thought the line where Li’l Mo busts out with “If I can go, contigo…” was saying “If I can go to Home Depot.” As if Home Depot is the newest after hours joint to hit up, like R. Kelly with the IHOP, or Jay-Z giving the shout out to the Waffle House.

Boy, does my espanol need some major rust scraped off of it.

Remember that song “Kiss The Rain”?

I thought it was halfway decent.

But I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why someone would write a ballad about Listerine.

Boy, was I embarassed.

Black pilot, I have a doll.
/yield “pilate”, pearl jam

The OP would likely be funnier if I knew what the lyrics are supposed to be. Not much of a rap fan myself. Although there was one song I really liked, because it had such a goofy chorus. Guy kept going on about being a “leprechaun gangsta.” Turns out he was saying "lyrical,’ which wasn’t nearly as interesting.

There’s also a great Pogues song called “The Broad, Majestic Shannon,” which is a lovely, nostalgic ballad that veers oddly into the realm of science fiction:

So I walked as day was dawning
Where small birds sang, and leaves were falling
Where we once watched the robots landing
By the broad majestic Shannon

This one I don’t take any blame for, though, because even after figuring out that he was saying “row-boats,” it still sounds like he’s saying “robots.” Shane! Enunciate, you drunken bastard!

There really doesn’t seem to be a consensus on what the actual real words are. Everyone does seem to agree that Wilhem DeFoe does not figure in them.

Here are two versions of the chorus:

*If you wanna go and take a ride wit me
We three-wheelin in the fo’ with the gold D’s
Oh why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money!)

If you wanna go and get high wit me
Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-y
Oh why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money!)*

and then there’s this one:
*If you wanna go and take a ride wit me
wit three women in the fo’ with the gold D’s
Oh why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money!)

If you wanna go and get high wit me
Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-y
Oh why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money!)
If you ask me sitting between Wilhem DeFoe and the goldies makes more sense.

er…what’s a gold d?

I couldn’t understand why Alanis would sing this:

Like any uncharted terror
Tori Amos seemed greatly intriguing

Later I realized she was really singing this:

Like any uncharted terri-
tory, I must seem greatly intriguing

According to my son, it’s gold DV’s and it’s some sort of trim for your car. My daughter insists that it is, in fact, goldies as in gold-diggers.

I think it must be big boobies in a golden bra.

Tori Amos is a terror. Hehe.

Your son is correct. And an “L”, for people who are interested, refers to “El Producto” – a rather cheap cigar brand you can find for sale at most convenience stores & gas stations. The tobacco is stripped out, and other leafy substances of your choosing (wink wink) are put in, and the whole thing is rolled up. Instant homemade cigar (referred to as an El)! (Phillies) Blunts were all the rage several years ago, but seem to have been overtaken by “Els” in hiphop parlance.