Ah! THERE you are! 
I hope I’m not being misread. (And keep the rocker handy.)
So, you’re pro-intimidation and pro-blacklist-for-intimidating, is that right?
Just out of curiosity, has anyone reported that post for being insulting?
Personally (and again, this is just what I’d do–another IMHO mod may handle it differently if they saw it), I’d just give a note for that (the first time), not a warning.
But yes, it would receive mod attention.
Oh woe is me, I can’t go into threads about women’s health and say “lol, show me your boobs!” Yes, such a hardship.
The problem is, most people seem to fighting on the side of ignorance here. It’s disgusting.
I’m not saying I’m leaving. But I can definitely see why people are being driven to do so.
Why don’t you do it yourself, the next time you get tempted to whine about you poor, put upon conservatives? :rolleyes:
If the attitudes you exhibit in your post are any indication, why would you expect any of your friends to voice any objection to your activities? No doubt they would have been mercilessly ridiculed and probably subjected to even more extremely hilarious pranks. Normalizing these types of activities is a great way to make people with valid complaints know that they will never be taken seriously.
So? You also said it wasn’t sexual assault. Look, whether you personally ended up enjoying it or not, putting your nuts on someone’s face while they’re unconscious is sexual assault. This is not really a legal grey area or anything. There’s not actually a “we were in college” or “but I thought it was hilarious” exception to the law against violating another person’s rights to not have your junk on their mouth if they don’t want it there. I’m sorry.
I think this discussion is actually quite relevant to the topic at hand, actually.
It’s not relevant to this thread at all.
If you would like to question or discuss whether a mod statements about something they posted years before they became a mod, might wager into their decision making today, feel free to open up another thread about it in ATMB.
If you would like to Pit me as a poster for that comment that I made back in 2007, feel free to do that as well.
If you would like to open up a debate on whether or not teabagging among college males should or should not be seen as sexual assault, feel free to use GD for that.
But end the hijack in this topic about it, right now.
How about a poll? You like polls, right?
Bolding mine. And this is why I said I didn’t think you were doing anything wrong, but that it reflected a particular culture that is a problem. In some groups of friends, what you describe would happen. In others, it absolutely would not. Truly. And that sort of culture–where it’s ok to tease women about how you’d like to fondle or ogle them–really makes a lot of women uncomfortable, and they stay away from it. I work with people I won’t socialize with because of this sort of thing.
So we have competing ordinaries. Your ordinary is funny sometimes, yes, but it drives away a lot of people. That’s what this thread is about–pointing out that there is a culture of comments that seem funny and harmless and “ordinary” to a great number of posters, but that make quite a few other posters uncomfortable and limits what they can talk about. Since these kind of comments are merely asides that don’t contribute other than to be funny, why can’t we make a deliberate attempt to shift the board culture away from them?
This is a good way to put it. And FWIW, I think it’s a good idea to separate such comments from the two categories I mentioned way back when. So we’ve got:
- Sincerely-held sexist beliefs (“Women are incapable of performing math at the highest level.”)
- Deliberate sexist insults (“When you women calm down, we can talk.”)
- NEW! Buffoonish jokes not intended to offend but nonetheless offensive (“This thread is worthless without pics!”)
Maybe it’s my male privilege talking ;), but I think folks deserve a note for this third category, not a warning. Absolute, you seem absolutely sincere when you say you didn’t realize it’d bother anybody. And that’s fine. But now you do realize that, right? And the next time such a post occurs to you, maybe your self-control won’t burn out quite so quickly, because you’ll remember that such posts make a lot of people uncomfortable?
FWIW, the day a bunch of guys also say they’re feeling uncomfortable because of all the leering posts made by women at them on the board, I’ll happily join calls to give mod notes to those women as well. But I’d rather work from data, not first principles.
I’m familiar with the variety of male who tries to pull crap like this around females and somehow expects other guys to take their side “just because”. Yes, those guys can use a little bit of rough treatment. Dunno about any other situations.
I’m sure you think you made a stinging burn there, but I doubt very much you will be able to find any examples of me asking anybody to “show me your boobs”.
Well you are the one decrying the end of teasing as we know it, should comments like the ones we’ve mentioned get a note from mods.
Ok. I never said otherwise.
You seem bound and determined to do so.
From seven years ago. But somehow a reminder that we need post reports and that we want people to discuss their views earlier on is not appropriate.
I did say that.
I said nothing about laziness either. With that, I’m done responding to your offerings in this thread.
It is. colander, that’s wildly out of context to the point that I don’t know how you missed it. As a bonus it’s from from four years before Idle Thoughts became a mod.
I’m also glad I didn’t go to whatever college Idle Thoughts went to. 
I didn’t say it wouldn’t be acted on. I said it’s a joke as opposed to a violation of our rules against promoting illegal activity, which is how you’d described it earlier. There are some stupid people out there, but I don’t think anyone’s going to drug a date because of a one-word Straight Dope post.
Me either.
You know, it strikes me that we’ve sort of taken it for granted that “woman + talk of boobs + men = show me your tits.” But perhaps we were too hasty there, for there is the existence of the DO NOT WANT! meme, as well as the “Pretty Girl on the Internets Syndrome” or the “harpoons” meme. I just wonder what would be considered worse: the call for boobs, or, if given the boobs in question, the response of, “er…nevermind.”
No, they’re right that it happens on at least a semi-regular basis.
This is where one disconnect it, I think. To you, “roofies?” is self-evidently a joke, because you would never drug someone to have sex with them, and the people you know would never drug someone to have sex with them. But women are told all the time, with perfect seriousness, to never take a drink from anyone, to never leave their drink alone, and if someone is drugged and raped, she’s asked why she left her drink available. Women don’t get told “watch your drink when you are at date-rapey parties”, they are told to “Always watch your drink, because it could be anyone. It’s often guys that are, to all appearances, perfectly nice”. So what to you is obviously a joke and not a big deal, comes across as a potential dog-whistle to women.
Oh, I’m not denying that at all. I just think that there’s some subjectivity about which posters would be propositioned for such things, versus those who wouldn’t, for various reasons.
I’m well aware. I will say again that I was asked about modding the post for advocating illegal activity, and I don’t think it does that. In that thread etv78 asks for dating advice and someone on page two says “Roofies?” It’s a dick move, as I said earlier, but it’s also not a serious suggestion or piece of advice on breaking the law. That doesn’t mean the post is acceptable, but it doesn’t break that rule.
I’m not quite sure what you’re saying here.
This is kind of what “rape culture” is all about, though: jokes like this act to normalize rapey actions. Nobody will read a single post like this and say, “Roofies, awesome plan!” But if they read it here, and see a joke on TV, and a buddy makes a similar joke, they might start to think that roofies is kind of a normal thing to do, and if they’ve had a dry spell, they might start giving rape consideration as an option.
Of course we as posters can speak up against these jokes, and of course we, especially guys, should. But if administration can also do so, I think that’d help to make it clear that such behavior is not normal and is not acceptable.
I don’t doubt that that’s true.
Sure, because nobody has ever lied on their resume before.